PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Vlad The Impaler (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Mark Colslaw (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The Impaler comes to the cage accompanied by Jess and the Ancient Ones - Sulfur Giants . Colslaw comes into a darkened arena with his song building. LMFAO kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

The Impaler
vs
Colslaw

178 cm
24
182 lbs
12 - 3 - 0

185 cm
23
180 lbs
8 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Granite chin

Undead clothing. All items 10$

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Vlad The Impaler!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Mark Colslaw!
The judges for this bout are Roger Salmon, Chris Saunders and Josh West.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The Impaler takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
The Impaler throws a chopping leg kick but Colslaw manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Colslaw misses with a body kick.

Colslaw has The Impaler up against the cage in a clinch.
The Impaler wants to stall.
The Impaler can't find room to land a body shot as Colslaw controls the action.
A short uppercut from The Impaler.
The Impaler is trying to break free.
Colslaw can't find room to land a body shot as The Impaler controls the action.

The Impaler escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Crunch! Colslaw slams his shin into The Impaler's torso.
The Impaler slips a straight right by Colslaw.
Good leg kick by The Impaler there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Colslaw fails to land with a series of punches.
A punch combination from The Impaler misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Colslaw tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but The Impaler paws at him with a jab and circles away.
The Impaler fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Colslaw checks it well.
Mark Colslaw seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Colslaw looks to land a right hand but The Impaler moved out of range.
The Impaler throws a series of punches but Colslaw moves out of range.
Colslaw keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from The Impaler.
Both fighters circling a little - Colslaw finishes the exchange with a kick to the body.
Colslaw connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed The Impaler momentarily.
Colslaw tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Colslaw wants to clinch.
Colslaw explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Nice defenses there by Colslaw.
Colslaw tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. The Impaler manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
The Impaler throws a leg kick
and Colslaw counters with a low kick, right behind The Impaler 's knee.
Colslaw avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
The Impaler connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Colslaw looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Colslaw uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from The Impaler.
The Impaler tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Colslaw throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
The Impaler fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Colslaw looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Colslaw lands with an overhand left.
The Impaler throws a leg kick that is checked
and Colslaw counters with a straight punch to the midsection.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Colslaw takes a shot right to the bread basket.
The Impaler checks a leg kick nicely.
The Impaler looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Colslaw is looking to clinch but The Impaler is avoiding it.
Colslaw throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Colslaw connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed The Impaler momentarily.
Colslaw showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from The Impaler.
The Impaler tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Colslaw connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
The Impaler attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Colslaw.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Colslaw avoids the head kick by The Impaler.
The Impaler with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
The Impaler tries to work over Colslaw's front leg with a kick but Colslaw checks it.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Colslaw.
Colslaw keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
The Impaler misses with a leg kick
letting Colslaw counter with a right hand.
Colslaw uses good head movement to avoid the hook from The Impaler.
The Impaler thows a leg kick but Colslaw checks it
and Colslaw counters with a nice body shot.
The Impaler connects with a solid leg kick.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Nice uppercut lands for Colslaw. That snapped The Impaler's head back.
A lazy body kick from Colslaw
and The Impaler counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Colslaw scores with a head kick. The Impaler tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mark Colslaw dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Colslaw throws a head kick that misses.
The Impaler avoids the head kick by Colslaw.
The Impaler misses with the combination.
Colslaw tries to clinch there but The Impaler circles away.
Colslaw misses with an attempted mid kick.
Colslaw lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Mark Colslaw seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Colslaw throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
The Impaler misses with a kick to the body.
Colslaw pulls out of a head kick attempt.
The Impaler swats away the attempt to clinch by Colslaw.
The Impaler throws a good cross that connects.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A slapping leg kick lands for Colslaw.
Colslaw blocks a low kick nicely.
Colslaw tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and The Impaler is able to avoid easily.
Colslaw chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Colslaw looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Colslaw lands with a slapping head kick.
Colslaw throws a jab but it's blocked by The Impaler.
The Impaler throws a leg kick
and Colslaw counters with a body kick.
A low kick from Colslaw misses
and The Impaler counters with a thumping low kick.
The Impaler misses with an uppercut
enabling Colslaw to counter with a crisp jab.
Colslaw checks a low kick from The Impaler.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Colslaw gets cracked with a nice right hand there by The Impaler.
Colslaw throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A head kick misses from The Impaler.
Colslaw connects with a solid leg kick.
The Impaler fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Colslaw checks it well.
The Impaler throws a leg kick but Colslaw checks it.
Colslaw throws a sloppy head kick and The Impaler moves out of range easily.
Colslaw ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
The Impaler misses with a head kick.
Colslaw throws a shot from downtown. The Impaler moves away and avoids it.
The Impaler tries to score with a low kick but Colslaw moves his leg out of the way.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Colslaw looks to land a left hand but The Impaler moved out of range nicely.
The Impaler lands a head kick. Colslaw smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
The Impaler misses with a leg kick.
The Impaler throws a leg kick
and Colslaw counters with a straight right hand.
Colslaw lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
Nice defenses there by Colslaw.
Colslaw has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Colslaw scores with a nice body kick.
Colslaw scores with a head kick.
Colslaw tries a head kick but it misses.
A chopping leg kick lands by Colslaw.
This has been an exciting period of action!
The Impaler takes a kick to the side of the head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
No joy there for Colslaw, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Colslaw is looking to clinch.
Colslaw scores with a kick to the body.
The Impaler keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Colslaw.
The Impaler slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
The Impaler throws a poor cross that misses
and Colslaw connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
The Impaler avoids the head kick by Colslaw.
A swing and a miss from The Impaler.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Colslaw tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but The Impaler was well out of range. Poor timing from Colslaw.
Colslaw swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Colslaw slips under a jab.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mark Colslaw showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's time! The Impaler's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Colslaw throws a wild body kick that The Impaler sees coming a mile off.
Colslaw slips under a jab from The Impaler.
The Impaler misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
The Impaler avoids the head kick by Colslaw.
Colslaw moves out of range of the body kick.
Colslaw throws a low kick but it's checked well by The Impaler.
The Impaler misses with a left hand
and Colslaw counters with a straight right hand.
The Impaler thows a leg kick but Colslaw checks it
and Colslaw counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
A low kick from The Impaler is predictable there
and Colslaw counters with a stiff right hand.
The Impaler throws a lazy right hand but Colslaw sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
The crowd cheers as Colslaw lands an impressive looking overhand right. The Impaler doesn't seem phased though.
Good work by Colslaw as he checks the leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The Impaler checks a leg kick.
Colslaw cracks the inside of The Impaler's front leg.
Colslaw bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of The Impaler's head.
The Impaler needs to keep his hands up - Colslaw had a free shot at his head there.
Colslaw misses with a hook.
The Impaler avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Colslaw lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
A clash of legs there as Colslaw blocks the low kick.
Colslaw on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by The Impaler. The Impaler obviously looking to wear him down.
Colslaw fakes high and swings low for a body shot but The Impaler manages to avoid it.
Colslaw tries to clinch up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The Impaler fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Colslaw has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
The Impaler tries to land a leg kick but Colslaw saw it coming and moves away.
Colslaw checks a leg kick.
The Impaler waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Colslaw.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Colslaw uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from The Impaler.
The Impaler lands with a cross.
Colslaw takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
The Impaler blocks a head kick by Colslaw.
Colslaw misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Colslaw misses with a looping right.
The Impaler blocks a head kick by Colslaw.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Colslaw swings for the body but The Impaler moves out of range.
Colslaw looks to land a body kick but The Impaler moved away.
The Impaler lets loose with a powerful body kick. Colslaw will feel that in the morning.
The Impaler throws a sloppy head kick and Colslaw moves out of range easily.
The Impaler uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Colslaw.
Colslaw is looking to clinch.
The Impaler dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
The Impaler keeps the fight on the outside.
Colslaw scores with a leg kick.
Colslaw checks a leg kick.
The Impaler scores with a leg kick.
Vlad The Impaler has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
The Impaler is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Colslaw throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Colslaw goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Colslaw looks to score with a jab to the body but The Impaler is just out of range.
The Impaler throws a leg kick
and Colslaw counters with a good low kick that The Impaler was not able to check.
Colslaw ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
The Impaler swings away with a leg kick that misses.
The Impaler will be looking to protect his midsection after taking some solid kicks to the body.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Colslaw checks the leg kick.
The Impaler throws a leg kick but Colslaw moved away.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Colslaw checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Colslaw goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Vlad The Impaler.
I think Colslaw has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Roger Salmon scores the fight 28:29
Judge Chris Saunders scores the fight 27:30
Judge Josh West scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Mark Colslaw!
Mark Colslaw took to the mic in his post fight interview and said 'sorry for party rocking!!! HOERAAAAH!'.