PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Tim Tebow (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Franz Kafka (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Tebow comes into the arena with God's Gonna Cut You Down blaring out of the sound system. Kafka has chosen Heartbeats as his entrance music. Tim Tebow had a look across the cage there at his opponent. He definitely means business

Tebow
vs
Kafka

191 cm
31
240 lbs
19 - 11 - 0

200 cm
28
265 lbs
15 - 9 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Charlie Wang's Tattered Rags & 95% Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 19 - 11 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Tim Tebow!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 15 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Franz Kafka!
The judges for this bout are Trevor Gratis, Alec Ball and Gregory Folan.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Tebow is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Kafka.
Kafka looks to score with a jab to the body but Tebow is just out of range.
Tebow misses with a low kick.
Tebow tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Danga de danga de dang - Tebow scores with a four punch combination!
A slow jab from Kafka misses its intended target.
Kafka lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
A nice inside leg kick there by Kafka. That's going to slow Tebow down.
Tebow with a poor takedown
and Kafka counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Tebow tries for a takedown but Kafka sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Kafka doesn't manage to clinch there - Tebow circles away.

Kafka closes the distance and clinches.
Tebow throws an elbow but it misses.

Kafka's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Kafka lands a jab.
Tebow will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Tim Tebow. That's going to take a lot out of him.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Tebow avoids the head kick by Kafka.
Tebow blocks a head kick by Kafka.
Kafka scores with a hook to the body. Tebow takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Kafka throws an off balance right hand
and Tebow counters with a right hand to the body.
Kafka throws a quick inside leg kick.
Kafka thuds his shin into the meat of Tebow's side.
Tebow blocks the body kick.
Tebow throws out a loose jab but Kafka uses good head movement to avoid it.
Kafka lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Tebow circles away quickly and effectively.
Tebow looks to score with a jab to the body but Kafka is just out of range.
Franz Kafka seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Kafka lands a head shot.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Tebow wants to slow Kafka down by chopping away at his legs.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kafka tries to close the distance and clinch up but Tebow swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Kafka slips under a jab.
This is turning into a torrid day at the office for Tebow. He's trying desperately to land a takedown but he's failing miserably and getting slapped silly on the feet to compound his misery.
The fight stays on the outside here - Tebow looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
A looping hook to the body misses from Tebow. Kafka does a little dance to reset his feet.
Tebow walks into a left hand.
Tebow misses with the combination.
Kafka misses with the combination.
Tebow looks to land a left hand but Kafka moved out of range nicely.
Tebow throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Kafka sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Kafka throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Tebow thuds a left hand into Kafka's body.
Kafka throws a big shot that misses.
Tebow throws a jab when Kafka was well out of range.
Tebow throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Kafka is looking to slow Tebow down with leg kicks.
Tebow closes this distance looking for a takedown but Kafka circles away.
Kafka wants to land a leg kick but Tebow is out of range.
Kafka throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Tebow.
Good leg kick by Kafka there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Kafka throws a hook to the side of Tebow's head but Tebow sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Kafka ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Tebow moves away.
Kafka slips under a jab.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Kafka just misses with a punch to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kafka throws a body punch but Tebow moves out of range.
Tebow tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Kafka manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Tebow throws a nice looking combination but Kafka bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Kafka throws a push kick but Tebow slaps the foot to one side.
Tebow scores with a body shot.
Kafka looks to score with a jab to the body but Tebow is just out of range.
Tebow avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
The fight stays on the outside here - Tebow looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Tebow avoids a punch combination nicely.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!

Kafka darts in and clinches Tebow up against the cage.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Franz Kafka dominated that round.
That's time! Tebow's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Tebow looks to score with a jab to the body but Kafka is just out of range.
Tebow avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Tebow ducks under a wild hook from Kafka.
Tebow fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Franz Kafka seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Kafka fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Tebow looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Kafka walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Tebow checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Kafka swings widly with a right hand
and Tebow counters with a thumping low kick.
Kafka scores with a hook to the body. Tebow takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Kafka cracks Tebow with an open hand slap.
That kick from Tebow tenderised Kafka's leg. Kafka is trying to keep his angry face on.
Kafka avoids the body shot from Tebow.
Tebow slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kafka fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Tebow throws a hook to the side of Kafka's head but Kafka sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Kafka lands a head shot.
Tebow swings widly with a right hand
and Kafka counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Kafka has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Kafka cracks the inside of Tebow's front leg.
Tebow lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Kafka fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Tebow manages to avoid it.
Franz Kafka is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Kafka misses with a straight left.
Kafka misses with a body shot.
Kafka fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Tebow is out of range.
Tebow tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Kafka scores with a sloppy right hand. Tebow should have avoided that one.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!

Kafka tries to sprawl but Tebow drives through with a takedown into half guard.
We've had a lack of effective grappling in the last minute or so, which could well see a referee standup.
Kafka regains full guard. Nicely done.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kafka has control of Tebow's left arm, preventing Tebow from doing any damage.
Tebow trying to control the position from guard on top but Kafka is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Tebow loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Tebow missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
Tebow not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
Kafka wants to sweep but no luck.
Tebow forces his way into half guard.

Kafka makes some distance and scrambles quickly back to his feet. Nice work!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kafka walks into a straight right hand from Tebow.
Kafka thows a body shot but no joy.
Kafka catches Tebow with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Kafka throws a poor cross that misses
letting Tebow counter with a right hand.
Nice uppercut there from Tebow.
Tebow moves out of range of the leg kick from Kafka.
Tebow shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Kafka pinned against the cage. Kafka gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Tebow throws a jab when Kafka was well out of range.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
Tebow looks to land a left hand but Kafka moved out of range nicely.
Kafka lands a really nice looking cross but Tebow seems unphased.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Kafka takes the fight into the clinch.
Tebow is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Kafka pulls him back up using the underhooks.
Kafka is working for takedown but Tebow is calmly controlling the position for now.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Tebow lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Kafka or not.
Tebow is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
Kafka misses with an elbow strike.
Kafka tries a body shot but Tebow blocks it.
Kafka blocks an uppercut.
Kafka looking to throw knees to the head but Tebow is blocking nicely.
Kafka misses with a short punch on the inside.
Tebow looking to stall.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Kafka trying to control the position but instead, Tebow has worked for underhooks and has pushed Kafka into the cage.
Tebow working aggressively here.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Franz Kafka showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Kafka throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Tebow lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Kafka at a distance.
Kafka throws an overhand right that lands on Tebow's shoulder, as Tebow tries to avoid the shot.
Kafka delivers a nice body kick.
Tebow is looking to clinch but Kafka is avoiding it.
Kafka staying out of range there.
A slow jab from Tebow misses its intended target.
Kafka just misses with a punch to the body.
Kafka displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Tebow.
Kafka takes one to the side of the head.
Tebow throws a body punch but Kafka moves out of range.
Kafka tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Tebow is able to avoid easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Tebow throws a right and a left that both miss.
Kafka keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Kafka scores with a three punch combo!
Kafka misses with a hook
and Tebow counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Kafka throws a jab when Tebow was well out of range.
Tebow checks the leg kick.

Tebow closes the distance and clinches.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Kafka takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
Tebow drops down looking for an ankle pick but Kafka pulls his leg out and moves away.
Kafka throws the kick towards the body but Tebow avoids it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kafka throws a leg kick
and Tebow counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Tebow is looking to chop away at Kafka's legs.
Kafka missing with a left hand there. Tebow was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Tebow bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Kafka's head.
Kafka swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Tebow counters with a thumping low kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Tebow ducks under a wild hook from Kafka.
Tebow walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Kafka wants to land a leg kick but Tebow is out of range.
Kafka connects with a jab.
Tim Tebow has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Tebow scores with a sloppy right hand. Kafka should have avoided that one.
Tebow defending well as Kafka loads up on a big left hand.
Kafka fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Tebow manages to avoid it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Tebow cracks Kafka with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Tebow scores with a decent looking hook.
Crunch! Kafka slams his shin into Tebow's torso.
A big right from Kafka misses.
Kafka fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Kafka throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Tebow on the side of the head.
Good shot there by Kafka.
Tebow shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Tim Tebow. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Kafka connects with an inside leg kick.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Kafka fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Tebow checks it well.
Kafka throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Tebow counters with a nice body shot.
Franz Kafka is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Tebow blocks a head kick by Kafka.
Tebow just misses with a punch to the body.
Kafka looks to score with a jab to the body but Tebow is just out of range.
Kafka thows a body shot but no joy.
Kafka connects with the punch.
Kafka is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Kafka slaps away a takedown attempt from Tebow, before circling back to the center of the mat.
Some wild striking there from Kafka.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Tebow.

And that's the end of the fight!
Franz Kafka comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Kafka winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Trevor Gratis scores the fight 27:30
Judge Alec Ball scores the fight 27:30
Judge Gregory Folan scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Franz Kafka!
Franz Kafka seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.