PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Alexander Ellis (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Turd Anderson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Turd Anderson was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Ellis
vs
Anderson

185 cm
28
195 lbs
9 - 3 - 0

180 cm
21
184 lbs
6 - 3 - 0

Powerful takedowns
Basic striking
Very strong

ADCC Champion
Basic striking
Granite chin

Jutsu FightGear (15$ clothing)
Jutsu FightGear (15$ clothing)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the middleweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Alexander Ellis!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Turd Anderson!
The judges for this bout are Micheangelo Fripello, Josh West and Chris Saunders.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Anderson steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Ellis.
Ellis throws an overhand right that lands on Anderson's shoulder, as Anderson tries to avoid the shot.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Ellis lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Anderson has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Anderson and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
A slow jab from Ellis misses its intended target.

Anderson shoots in with a lovely double leg takedown. Ellis manages to land in full guard to minimise the damage.
Anderson trying to control the position from guard on top but Ellis is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Anderson is in a good position here but he's just trying to control... And he's not even managing to do that successfully.
Ellis looking to control.
Ellis is really struggling to control Anderson but he's trying to hold on to the position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ellis keeping full guard, as Anderson tries to pass.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
Ellis throws a looping overhand right but Anderson ducks down to avoid it.
Turd Anderson seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Anderson fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
Anderson shoots for a takedown but Ellis saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Ellis tries a low kick but Anderson avoids it.
Anderson lands with an overhand left.
Anderson shoots in for a takedown but Ellis shows good takedown defense.
Alexander Ellis has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Turd Anderson.
Anderson defending well as Ellis loads up on a big left hand.
Anderson misses the shot to the body.
Anderson looks to land a combination but Ellis avoids it well.
Ellis misses with a wild body shot.
Anderson fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
Ellis throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Nice defenses there by Anderson.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Ellis looks to score with a jab to the body but Anderson is just out of range.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Anderson blocks a low kick nicely.
No luck with that takedown attempt from Anderson.

Anderson scores a takedown into full mount!
Anderson controlling the pace for now.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Ellis is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
Ellis prevents Anderson from taking his back.
Ellis is squirming around, avoiding Anderson's attempts to control the action.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Anderson might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control Ellis kaven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
Anderson fails to move to back control.
Anderson trying to control but he's not successful this time.
Anderson controlling from mount.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ellis is working to get back to half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Anderson wants to control the pace but Ellis is squirming around nicely.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Anderson controlling his opponent.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Turd Anderson dominated that round.
That's time! Ellis's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Anderson fails with the takedown.
Anderson tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Ellis swivels and escapes.
Anderson misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Alexander Ellis has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Turd Anderson.
Ellis throws the left hand but Anderson avoids the punch easily.
Anderson fails to land the takedown.
Anderson scores with a body shot.

Anderson looking to shoot here. He's gone for it and he's landed a takedown into mount! Oh, that's bad for Ellis!
Ellis is desperately trying to improve his position but Anderson has a good base and remains in mount.
Ellis is squirming around, avoiding Anderson's attempts to control the action.

Anderson swings around for an armbar but it's a sloppy attempt and Ellis is now in Anderson's guard. A big mistake from Anderson there, giving up the dominant position!

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ellis throws a big elbow that misses.
Anderson looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Ellis with a flurry of punches that miss.
Turd Anderson has got the better of the ground game so far.

Anderson has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Ellis can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Anderson utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Anderson pulls Ellis in close to prevent any damage.
Ellis looking to pass the guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Ellis stopping the sweep attempt from Anderson.
Ellis pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Anderson is keeping the position for now.
Ellis trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Ellis wants to pass the guard but Anderson is keeping the position.
Anderson seems keen to control Ellis's posture.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Anderson working a defensive guard here.
Ellis tries to free his leg and advance position but Anderson is retaining full guard.
Anderson keeping moving, preventing Ellis from controlling successfully.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
Anderson defending well as Ellis loads up on a big left hand.
Anderson uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Ellis.
Anderson tries for a takedown but Ellis sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.

Anderson closes the distance and clinches up, looking for a takedown. He shifts his weight and gets a nice trip into half guard.
Anderson stalling away here and it's allowed Ellis to slip out his trapped foot and regain full guard.
Anderson trying to control the position from guard on top but Ellis is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Anderson wants to pass the guard but Ellis is keeping the position.
Ellis is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Ellis is working hard here to advance position.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Ellis keeping moving, preventing Anderson from controlling successfully.
The referee is pacing around the two fighters - he looks like he's thinking about a standup.

Turd Anderson has forced the referee to step in and restart the fight on the feet.
Ellis waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Anderson.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Turd Anderson showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Ellis tries to score with a low kick but Anderson moves his leg out of the way.

Anderson scores with a takedown into Ellis's guard.
Anderson pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Ellis is keeping the position for now.
Anderson wants to control from the top but Ellis keeps moving.
Anderson forces his way into half guard.
Anderson performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Ellis makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Ellis.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Anderson is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.
Ellis controls Anderson momentarily but Anderson frees himself.
Ellis is pulling down on Anderson's head. It's preventing any offense from Anderson, at least for the moment.
Anderson wants to control from the top but Ellis keeps moving.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

The ref stands the fighters back up. Turd Anderson was stalling too much, according to the referee.
Anderson ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Ellis moves away.
Anderson misses with a wild combination.

Ellis tries to sprawl but Anderson drives through with a takedown into half guard.

Anderson is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Ellis has managed to free his arm - good work.
Ellis wants to control but Anderson is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Anderson wants to take a breather but Ellis is having none of it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Anderson is looking to advance position but Ellis won't allow it.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
Anderson wants to take a breather but Ellis is having none of it.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Ellis trying to control from the bottom.

The ref stands the fighters back up, due to lack of action by Turd Anderson.
Anderson shoots in but no luck this time.
Ellis misses with a hook. Anderson ducked under it nicely.
Ellis displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Anderson.
A jab from Ellis misses.
Alexander Ellis is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Ellis throws a wild combination but nothing lands.

Anderson gets a double leg takedown into Ellis's guard.
Anderson stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Ellis swivels though and keeps the full guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ellis keeping moving, preventing Anderson from controlling successfully.
Ellis not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Ellis looking to control the pace of the fight rather than finish it.
Anderson pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Ellis is keeping the position for now.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.

The referee has ruled that neither fighter is active enough on the ground and has stood them back up.
Anderson uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Ellis.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Turd Anderson really dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Anderson fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Ellis avoids it really well and circles away.
Anderson uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Ellis.

Excellent takedown into side control there by Anderson.

Anderson is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Ellis has escaped the position, nice work there.

Anderson swings around for an armbar but Ellis sees it coming a mile off and turns beautifully into Anderson's guard.
Ellis pushing down on Anderson's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Anderson works his way to full guard. Good work.
Ellis throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ellis passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Anderson manages to land a sweep and he's now on top! Lovely Jiu Jitsu!
Anderson wants to free his trapped foot but Ellis is holding on for dear life with his legs.
Ellis slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Ellis working a defensive guard here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Ellis holds on and takes a little breather.
Anderson throws a big right hand that misses.
Ellis can't keep his opponent in guard - Anderson advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.
Anderson wants to lay and pray for a moment but Ellis keeps working.
Ellis gets full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Anderson trying to control but Ellis is working from the bottom.
Anderson throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Ellis works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Anderson stopping the sweep attempt from Ellis.
Anderson stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Ellis swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Anderson forces his way into half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Anderson is looking to stall here but Ellis recovers full guard.
Anderson stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Ellis swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Ellis working a defensive guard here.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Anderson looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Turd Anderson dominated that fourth round.
That's time! Ellis's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Anderson moves away from the strike by Ellis.
Anderson just misses with a punch to the body.
Anderson shoots in and drives through. Ellis sprawls well.
Ellis misses with a leg kick.
Nice defenses there by Anderson.
Ellis takes a swing at Anderson's ribcage but misses.
Anderson fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
Anderson keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Ellis.
Anderson shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Ellis pinned against the cage. Ellis gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Alexander Ellis has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Turd Anderson.
Anderson checks a low kick from Ellis.
Anderson shoots in looking for a double leg takedown. Ellis defends it nicely.
Anderson fails with a takedown attempt from distance.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ellis ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Anderson moves away.
Ellis swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Ellis connects with a looping right hand.
Anderson shoots in and drives through. Ellis sprawls well.
Anderson changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Ellis tries to avoid it but Anderson manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Ellis to the ground. Ellis escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Anderson is wobbling all over the place through exhaustion. Will he make it to the final bell?
Ellis misses with a straight right.
Ellis swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Ellis looks to score with a jab to the body but Anderson is just out of range.
Ellis misses the shot to the body.
Ellis looks to throw the jab but Anderson is out of range.
Ellis missing with a left hand there. Anderson was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Anderson shoots for a takedown but Ellis saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.

Anderson scores a takedown into full mount!
Ellis tries to lock up and control but Anderson gives him a forearm to the face and pushes him away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Anderson wants to take his opponent's back but Ellis doesn't allow it.

Anderson is working on an americana here. Ooh, that looks pretty nasty! Nope, Ellis has managed to escape the submission attempt.
Ellis tries to reverse the position but Anderson maintains control.
Ellis is squirming around, avoiding Anderson's attempts to control the action.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Anderson avoids the attempt from Ellis to control.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Anderson goes for an armbar but he's not got it… Ellis turns into him and now he's in Anderson's guard.
Anderson is trying to control the position but Ellis postures up.
Anderson looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Ellis trying to control but Anderson is working from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Anderson utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Ellis wants to control from the top but Anderson keeps moving.

The referee has ruled that neither fighter is active enough on the ground and has stood them back up.
Ellis displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Anderson.
Anderson tries for a takedown but Ellis sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Turd Anderson is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Ellis throws a hook but Anderson avoids it easily.
Anderson avoids the body shot from Ellis.
Ellis throws a hook but Anderson avoids it easily.
Nice takedown defense from Ellis. No joy for Anderson on that attempt.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Ellis throws a shot from downtown. Anderson moves away and avoids it.
Anderson shoots in but Ellis avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Ellis misses the shot to the body.
Alexander Ellis has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

Ellis gets taken down but at least he's managed to land in guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Alexander Ellis.
I think Anderson has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Micheangelo Fripello scores the fight 46:49
Judge Josh West scores the fight 46:49
Judge Chris Saunders scores the fight 46:50

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Turd Anderson!
Turd Anderson is the new middleweight champion!
A victorious Turd Anderson thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.