PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Sponge Bobichus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Vladimir Zhirinovsky (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Bobichus's entrance music is Cannibal Corpse - Hammer Smashed Face. A fine choice. Zhirinovsky has chosen Zhirinovsky and Serega - Murka as his entrance music. Vladimir Zhirinovsky has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Bobichus
vs
Zhirinovsky

175 cm
25
210 lbs
12 - 8 - 0

180 cm
25
218 lbs
11 - 8 - 0

Powerful takedowns
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 8 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Sponge Bobichus!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 11 - 8 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Vladimir Zhirinovsky!
The judges for this bout are Igor Prikhodko, Dmitry Maklakov and Aleksandr Martynov.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bobichus slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Bobichus shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Bobichus throws a combination. Zhirinovsky tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
Bobichus throws a body punch but Zhirinovsky moves out of range.
Horrible takedown by Zhirinovsky or perhaps it was just good defense by Bobichus which made him look bad.
Bobichus takes one on the button.
Bobichus misses with a kick to the body.
Bobichus misses with a two punch combination.
Vladimir Zhirinovsky seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Good exchange - Bobichus coming out on top.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.

Zhirinovsky closes the distance and clinches up, looking for a takedown. He shifts his weight and gets a nice trip into half guard.
The referee looks like he's ready to step in and stand the fighters back up.

Bobichus is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Zhirinovsky pulls his head out easily.
Zhirinovsky working over Bobichus with some ground and pound. Bobichus looks like he wants out of this position, which is understandable.

Bobichus looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Zhirinovsky blocks the strikes from Bobichus.

Bobichus is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Zhirinovsky pulls his head out easily.
Zhirinovsky controlling the action here.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Bobichus actively working from the bottom here.
Bobichus is trying to stand up here but Zhirinovsky is controlling him well.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
Bobichus tries to get to full guard but Zhirinovsky has control of the leg.
Bobichus is working hard here to advance position.
Zhirinovsky sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Bobichus defending well though.
Bobichus moves into full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky wants to control from the top but Bobichus keeps moving.

Bobichus looking for a guillotine here but Zhirinovsky defends easily.

Bobichus has his foot on Zhirinovsky's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Zhirinovsky works his way back into a safe position though.
Zhirinovsky sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Bobichus keeping moving, preventing Zhirinovsky from controlling successfully.
Bobichus wants to sweep here but Zhirinovsky controlling him for the moment.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.

Vladimir Zhirinovsky has forced the referee to step in and restart the fight on the feet.

Zhirinovsky scores a trip takedown into side control. Nice.
Bobichus tries to work a leg under to get back to half guard but Zhirinovsky wriggles his own leg back out and remains in side control.
Zhirinovsky staying calm.
Bobichus gets back to half guard.
Bobichus trying to control from the bottom.
Zhirinovsky content to control rather than advance.
Zhirinovsky drops an elbow to the side of Bobichus's head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bobichus is trying to get back to full guard.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Zhirinovsky is looking to take a break and control but Bobichus is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Bobichus wants to improve his position but Zhirinovsky is controlling well.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Zhirinovsky keeping composed on the top, looking to control the action.
We must be close to a standup if these guys don't pick up the pace.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Zhirinovsky shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Sponge Bobichus will probably get the nod.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Bobichus closes this distance looking for a takedown but Zhirinovsky circles away.

Zhirinovsky scores a takedown into full mount!
Zhirinovsky controlling from mount.
Zhirinovsky wants to control the pace but Bobichus is squirming around nicely.
Bobichus tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Zhirinovsky takes a little breather and maintains the position. The referee will be looking for him to stay active from such a dominant position though.
The crowd growing excited in anticipation of a finish here! Right on cue, Zhirinovsky cracks his opponent with a massive right hand that draws loud cheers!
Zhirinovsky looking to ground and pound his opponent to a finish here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky controlling the pace for now.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
Bobichus is in a horrible position here. Zhirinovsky smacks him with another shot as he tries to escape the position.
Bobichus can't escape the position.
Bobichus is squirming around, avoiding Zhirinovsky's attempts to control the action.
Bobichus tries to hold on but Zhirinovsky postures up.
Bobichus is trying to escape the mount.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky wants to control the pace but Bobichus is squirming around nicely.
Bobichus is trying desperately to improve position.
Zhirinovsky controlling his opponent.
Zhirinovsky's corner are shouting for him to control the position and he seems happy to oblige.
This has been an exciting period of action!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bobichus is working to get back to half guard.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
Zhirinovsky content just to control the position here.
Zhirinovsky fakes a shot to the body and cracks his opponent in the head. Nice ground and pound there!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky controlling from mount.
Zhirinovsky fakes a shot to the body and cracks his opponent in the head. Nice ground and pound there!
Bobichus is in a horrible position here. Zhirinovsky smacks him with another shot as he tries to escape the position.
Zhirinovsky sitting in mount, just looking to control for the moment.
Bobichus tries to get back to half guard but can't.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Bobichus tries to hold on but Zhirinovsky pushes him away.
Bobichus can't escape the position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Vladimir Zhirinovsky showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. And we move into the final round!

Zhirinovsky looking for a takedown here - he's got it.

Bobichus looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Zhirinovsky trying to control but Bobichus is working from the bottom.
Zhirinovsky showing good wrestling skills to control the position.

Bobichus is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Zhirinovsky is aware though and is defending well.
Vladimir Zhirinovsky has got the better of the ground game so far.
Zhirinovsky slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
Zhirinovsky postures up.

Zhirinovsky got a little sloppy there for a moment and Bobichus has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Zhirinovsky has managed to get both his arms back between Bobichus's legs - danger averted.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Zhirinovsky content to stall in guard here.

The ref calls for a clean break and stands the fighters back up. Vladimir Zhirinovsky wasn't active enough on the ground.
Bobichus takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Bobichus is trying hard to land a takedown here. Zhirinovsky sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
Bobichus misses with a series of wild punches.
Bobichus stuffs the takedown attempt from Zhirinovsky. Zhirinovsky gets slowly back to his feet.
Nice sprawl there from Bobichus as Zhirinovsky shoots in.
Sponge Bobichus is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Zhirinovsky shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Bobichus pinned against the ropes. Bobichus gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Sponge Bobichus has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Vladimir Zhirinovsky.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky throws a body punch but Bobichus moves out of range.

Bobichus gets caught flat footed, as Zhirinovsky shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.
Bobichus is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Zhirinovsky pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Bobichus is keeping the position for now.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Zhirinovsky won't allow Bobichus to sweep him here.
Zhirinovsky sitting in guard here, content to control.
Bobichus throws some sloppy strikes off his back.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Bobichus is on top in guard.
Bobichus stops Zhirinovsky from standing up.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky pulls Bobichus in close to prevent any damage.

Zhirinovsky wriggles free and stands up.
Zhirinovsky shoots in but no luck this time.
Zhirinovsky shoots in looking for a takedown. Bobichus tries to sprawl out of it but Zhirinovsky keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the ropes. Bobichus manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
Bobichus looks to land a combination but Zhirinovsky avoids it well.
A telegraphed takedown attempt from Bobichus is defended easily by Zhirinovsky.
Zhirinovsky shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Bobichus misses with a straight right.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Bobichus swivels and escapes.
Zhirinovsky stuffs the takedown attempt from Bobichus. Bobichus gets slowly back to his feet.
Bobichus misses with a head kick.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.

Zhirinovsky gets taken down but at least he's managed to land in guard.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Zhirinovsky holds on and takes a little breather.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Bobichus stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Zhirinovsky swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Zhirinovsky tries to land a sweep but no joy.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Bobichus tries to free his leg and advance position but Zhirinovsky is retaining full guard.
Bobichus won't allow Zhirinovsky to sweep him here.
Bobichus wants to control from the top but Zhirinovsky keeps moving.

And that's the end of the fight!
Vladimir Zhirinovsky comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Zhirinovsky has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.

Judge Igor Prikhodko scores the fight for Vladimir Zhirinovsky!
Judge Dmitry Maklakov scores the fight for Vladimir Zhirinovsky!
Judge Aleksandr Martynov scores the fight for Vladimir Zhirinovsky!

Vladimir Zhirinovsky wins by unanimous decision!
A victorious Vladimir Zhirinovsky thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.