PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Keane Kane (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Chuck Fuck Tito (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Kane
vs
Fuck Tito

185 cm
28
212 lbs
17 - 9 - 0

190 cm
31
221 lbs
17 - 7 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Hell's Balls Recovery (160)
Hell's Balls Recovery (160)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Keane Kane!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 17 - 7 - 1, fighting out of Sydney, Chuck Fuck Tito!
The judges for this bout are Steve Erwin, Bruno Hogan and Eliza Hachem.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A slow jab from Kane misses its intended target.
Chuck Fuck Tito seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Fuck Tito lands with a thumping leg kick.
Kane is looking to slow Fuck Tito down with leg kicks.
Fuck Tito connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Fuck Tito tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Kane wants to land a leg kick but Fuck Tito is out of range.
Kane swings away with a leg kick that misses.
A swing and a miss from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito lands with a straight right. Kane didn't see that one coming.
Nice defenses there by Fuck Tito.
Kane ducks under a wild hook from Fuck Tito.
Kane throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Kane moves out of range as Fuck Tito strikes.
Fuck Tito looks to land a right hand but Kane moved out of range.
Fuck Tito jabs Kane right on the nose. Kane blinks but takes it well.
Fuck Tito avoids the body shot from Kane.
Kane displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Fuck Tito throws out the jab.
Fuck Tito misses with a head kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kane will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Fuck Tito gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.

It looks like Chuck Fuck Tito has been cut.
A looping hook to the body misses from Fuck Tito. Kane does a little dance to reset his feet.
Kane looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Kane misses with a looping right.
Nice uppercut lands for Kane. That snapped Fuck Tito's head back.
Good standup being displayed there by Fuck Tito as he connects with a hook.
That kick from Kane tenderised Fuck Tito's leg. Fuck Tito is trying to keep his angry face on.
Kane slips under a jab from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito throws a poor cross that misses
and Kane counters with an inside leg kick.
Fuck Tito looks for the body kick but Kane saw that one coming.
Kane stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Fuck Tito.
Kane throws a lazy right hand but Fuck Tito sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Fuck Tito swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Fuck Tito throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Fuck Tito ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Fuck Tito swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Donk. Fuck Tito catches Kane right on the button with a cross.
No joy there for Fuck Tito, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Kane misses with a body shot.
A jab from Kane misses.
Fuck Tito stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Kane.
Fuck Tito throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Fuck Tito throws out a loose jab but Kane uses good head movement to avoid it.
Fuck Tito throws a quick inside leg kick.
Fuck Tito uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Kane.
Fuck Tito on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Kane blocks a leg kick.
Fuck Tito connects with a single shot there.
A telegraphed right hand from Fuck Tito misses the target.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fuck Tito scores with a body shot.
Kane drops his hands momentarily and Fuck Tito takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Fuck Tito thuds his shin into the meat of Kane's side.
Fuck Tito moves out of range of the strikes.
Kane throws a low kick but Fuck Tito moves out of range easily.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito slips a straight right by Kane.
A solid leg kick lands there for Fuck Tito.
The fighters circling - Kane throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Kane waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito misses with a hook.
Nice jab there from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito fails in his attempt to clinch.
Fuck Tito throws a right and a left that both miss.
Kane scores with a nice strike.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fuck Tito throws a hook but Kane avoids it easily.
Kane closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Fuck Tito thows a left - swing and a miss!
Fuck Tito throws a nice looking combination but Kane bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Fuck Tito connects with a good right hand that stumbles Kane. Kane circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Fuck Tito is landing a lot of head punches in this opening round! Kane had better start moving his head a bit unless he wants his face to turn into pâté.
Fuck Tito throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Kane misses with a wild body shot.
Fuck Tito lands a lovely overhand right.
Fuck Tito with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Kane avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Kane throws a hook to the side of Fuck Tito's head but Fuck Tito sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Kane throws a jab when Fuck Tito was well out of range.
Fuck Tito tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Fuck Tito throws a lazy uppercut
and Kane counters with a nice low kick that buckles Fuck Tito's knee momentarily.
Kane bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Chuck Fuck Tito dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Chuck Fuck Tito's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Nice uppercut there from Fuck Tito.
Decent striking displayed by Kane there.
Fuck Tito scores with a shot to the body.
Kane ducks under a wild hook from Fuck Tito.
Kane moves out of range as Fuck Tito strikes.
Fuck Tito misses with a lunging right hand
and Kane counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Kane throws a hook to the side of Fuck Tito's head but Fuck Tito sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Kane fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Kane avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Fuck Tito is looking to chop away at Kane's legs.
Kane swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Fuck Tito.
Kane misses with a looping right.
Fuck Tito connects with a leg kick. Kane looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Fuck Tito steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Kane.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Fuck Tito.
Kane throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fuck Tito chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Fuck Tito throws a half hearted mid kick.
Kane does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Fuck Tito looks to land a right hand but Kane moved out of range.
Kane gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Fuck Tito.
Kane misses the shot to the body.
Kane takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Fuck Tito misses with a looping right.
Kane dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Kane misses with a body shot.
Kane misses the shot to the body.
Kane throws a body punch but Fuck Tito moves out of range.
Kane clobbers Fuck Tito with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
A punch lands to the side of Kane 's head but he takes it in his stride.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fuck Tito moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Kane fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Fuck Tito throws an off balance right hand
letting Kane counter with a right hand.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Fuck Tito throws the left hand but Kane avoids the punch easily.
Fuck Tito fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Kane is out of range.
Kane throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Kane moves forwards but Fuck Tito connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Fuck Tito throws a series of punches but Kane moves out of range.
Kane uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Fuck Tito.
Kane looks to land a left hand but Fuck Tito moved out of range nicely.
Kane scores with a hook to the body. Fuck Tito takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Kane needs to keep his hands up - Fuck Tito had a free shot at his head there.
Kane connects with a crisp jab.
Fuck Tito on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Kane. Kane obviously looking to wear him down.
Kane uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kane throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Fuck Tito sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Kane walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Fuck Tito looks to score with a jab to the body but Kane is just out of range.
Fuck Tito throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Fuck Tito looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Chuck Fuck Tito seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Kane works over Fuck Tito's head and body with a nice combination.
A big right from Fuck Tito misses.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Kane.
Kane on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Kane stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito misses with a leg kick.
Kane is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
A big right from Kane misses.
Kane throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Kane misses the jab.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kane checks a leg kick nicely.
Fuck Tito throws a hook to the side of Kane's head but Kane sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
A jab from Kane misses.
Fuck Tito misses with a low kick.
Kane turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Kane misses with a body shot.
Kane misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Fuck Tito ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Fuck Tito displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Kane throws out the jab.
Kane misses with an uppercut.
A chopping leg kick lands by Fuck Tito.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Kane misses with a few strikes there.
Fuck Tito throws a body punch but Kane moves out of range.
Fuck Tito misses with a wild body shot.
Fuck Tito bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Keane Kane will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Chuck Fuck Tito's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

Kane is looking to chop away at Fuck Tito's legs.
Kane is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Fuck Tito.
Kane takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Fuck Tito loads up on a big right hand but Kane slips the punch.
Kane tests Fuck Tito's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Kane listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Kane rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Fuck Tito moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Fuck Tito tries to clinch but Kane moves out of range.
Kane throws an overhand right that lands on Fuck Tito's shoulder, as Fuck Tito tries to avoid the shot.
Kane fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Fuck Tito is out of range.
Fuck Tito swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Fuck Tito loads up on a big right hand but Kane slips the punch.
Fuck Tito fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Kane.
Fuck Tito misses the jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fuck Tito avoids a kick to the body.
Kane looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Fuck Tito tries to clinch up.
Kane uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Fuck Tito has time to react.
Kane moves out of range of the strikes.
Fuck Tito chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Nice cross by Fuck Tito.
Nice defenses there by Kane.
Fuck Tito sizes up Kane with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Fuck Tito feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Kane's calf.
Fuck Tito uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Kane.
Fuck Tito throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Kane takes one to the chin there.
Kane staying out of range there.
Fuck Tito looking to land some kicks to the body here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fuck Tito lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Kane wants to land a leg kick but Fuck Tito is out of range.
A big right from Fuck Tito misses.
Fuck Tito misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Fuck Tito misses with a straight right.
Kane misses with a body shot.
Kane throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Fuck Tito counters with a nice low kick that buckles Kane's knee momentarily.
Kane misses the shot to the body.
Kane looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Kane throws a leg kick which misses Fuck Tito's front leg but catches the back leg as Fuck Tito tries to avoid it.
Kane throws a shot from downtown. Fuck Tito moves away and avoids it.
Fuck Tito throws a body punch but Kane moves out of range.
Kane cracks Fuck Tito with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Kane just misses with a punch to the body.
Fuck Tito blocks a jab.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fuck Tito fails in his attempt to clinch.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Fuck Tito lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Kane has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Kane and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Fuck Tito with a nice cross.
Kane swings for the body but Fuck Tito moves out of range.
An inside leg kick from Kane misses.
Fuck Tito tries to move into range but Kane moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Kane walks into a left hand.
Fuck Tito is looking to clinch.
Fuck Tito moves forwards but Kane connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Kane takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
A lazy left from Fuck Tito finds it's target.
Kane slips under a jab from Fuck Tito.
Kane scoring well with a low kick there.
Kane is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Fuck Tito.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The fighters circling - Kane throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Fuck Tito tries a head kick but it misses.
Kane blocks the body kick.
Fuck Tito jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Kane slips under a jab from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito blocks a leg kick.
Fuck Tito dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Kane. That did some damage!
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Fuck Tito moves out of range of the strikes.
Fuck Tito moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Fuck Tito keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Kane lands with an uppercut that bounces Fuck Tito off the cage and back into range.
Kane connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Fuck Tito momentarily.
Kane misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Kane missing with a left hand there. Fuck Tito was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Chuck Fuck Tito.
Well Fuck Tito has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Steve Erwin scores the fight 28:29
Judge Bruno Hogan scores the fight 29:28
Judge Eliza Hachem scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by split decision... Chuck Fuck Tito!
A loyal slave to those sponsorship dollars, Chuck Fuck Tito made sure he mentioned Hell's Balls Recovery (160), along with how happy he was to win his fight.