PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Eyeonly Fuckwell (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Thomas Crown (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Fuckwell comes into the arena with call to prayer blaring out of the sound system. Thomas Crown has the eye of the tiger tonight.

Fuckwell
vs
Crown

191 cm
26
194 lbs
12 - 5 - 0

183 cm
23
187 lbs
5 - 2 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
World class boxer
Cardio machine

BJJ Purple Belt
Good low kicks
Good gas tank

Jihad Fight Gear-Cage Wars version
Jihad Fight Gear-Cage Wars version

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 5 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Eyeonly Fuckwell!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 2 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Thomas Crown!
The judges for this bout are Chris Edwards, William Gold and James Ackerman.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Fuckwell is looking to slow Crown down with leg kicks.
Fuckwell moves out of range as Crown strikes.
Crown's corner calls for a 1-2. Crown obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Fuckwell lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Crown has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Crown and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Crown takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Fuckwell clobbers Crown with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Crown throws a solid leg kick but Fuckwell takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Crown.
Fuckwell fakes the leg kick and cracks Crown in the body.
Eyeonly Fuckwell seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Crown throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Fuckwell sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Fuckwell scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Crown takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Fuckwell lands with an uppercut that bounces Crown off the cage and back into range.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Crown pivots, looking for a leg kick but Fuckwell is out of range and Crown settles back down.
Fuckwell tests Crown's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Crown ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Fuckwell moves away.
Fuckwell digs a good body shot into Crown's ribs.
Fuckwell lands a right hook to the body.
Crown checks a leg kick nicely.
Fuckwell misses with a low kick.
Crown avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Fuckwell works the jab nicely.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fuckwell jabs at Crown's body.
Fuckwell plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
A jab from Crown misses.
An inside leg kick lands from Fuckwell.
Fuckwell lands a two punch combo.
Crown throws a body punch but Fuckwell moves out of range.
Fuckwell lands a front kick.
Eyeonly Fuckwell is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Crown feints a jab promting Fuckwell to slip. Crown then demonstrates his capabilities by jabbing again. Fuckwell slips again and ducks right into an uppercut.
That kick from Fuckwell tenderised Crown's leg. Crown is trying to keep his angry face on.
Good work by Crown as he checks the leg kick.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Fuckwell cracks Crown with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Fuckwell tries to work over Crown's front leg with a kick but Crown checks it.
Fuckwell throws a leg kick that is checked
and Crown counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Crown.
Fuckwell misses the jab.
Crown ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Fuckwell moves away.
Fuckwell lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Crown at a distance.
Crown slips a jab from Fuckwell.
Fuckwell avoids the body shot from Crown.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fuckwell throws a shot to the body.
Crown misses with a straight left.
Crown throws a head kick but Fuckwell moves out of range.
Fuckwell lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Crown misses with a body shot.
Fuckwell thumps Crown with a low kick.
Fuckwell throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Fuckwell.
Fuckwell missing with a left hand there. Crown was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Crown pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Fuckwell back to the cage. Crown follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Fuckwell fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Crown.
Crown pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Crown walks into a jab.
Fuckwell swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Crown throws a right hand that Fuckwell ducks under and follows up with a left that Fuckwell also avoids with ease.
Crown moves out of range of the leg kick from Fuckwell.

Crown shoots in and gets a takedown into half guard. Crown showed some decent athleticism there.
The referee must be thinking about standing these guys back up.
Crown stops Fuckwell from getting back to his feet.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fuckwell keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Crown trying to control from Fuckwell's half guard. Fuckwell has other ideas though and has regained full guard.
Crown is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.
Fuckwell is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Crown is controlling him.
Crown wants to pass the guard but Fuckwell is keeping the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Crown trying to control but Fuckwell is working from the bottom.
Crown throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Fuckwell works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Crown is looking to work some ground and pound but Fuckwell has wrist control.
Crown stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Fuckwell swivels though and keeps the full guard.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Crown slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eyeonly Fuckwell dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Crown is looking to score with low kicks.
Crown lands a two punch combo.

It looks like Eyeonly Fuckwell has been cut.
Crown looks to throw the jab but Fuckwell is out of range.
Fuckwell throws out a leg kick but Crown moves out of range and Fuckwell only half commits.
Crown throws a series of punches but Fuckwell avoids them all with ease.
Fuckwell turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Crown throws a low kick but Fuckwell avoids it.
Crown scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Crown misses with a wild combination.
Crown uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Fuckwell.
Crown fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Fuckwell manages to avoid it.
Fuckwell throws a nice outside leg kick.
Eyeonly Fuckwell is winning the standup battle so far.
Fuckwell thows a left - swing and a miss!
Fuckwell fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Crown manages to avoid it.
Thomas Crown is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Fuckwell lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Crown is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Crown tried to score with a low kick but Fuckwell checks it.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Crown checks the leg kick nicely there.
Fuckwell throws a head kick that misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fuckwell avoids a punch combination nicely.
Fuckwell looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Fuckwell attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Crown walks into a straight right hand from Fuckwell.
Fuckwell is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Fuckwell throws a leg kick that misses.
Crown uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Fuckwell.
Crown shoots for a double leg takedown but Fuckwell sprawls well. He's pushed Crown's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Crown throws a right hand that Fuckwell ducks under and follows up with a left that Fuckwell also avoids with ease.
Crown's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Fuckwell ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Crown moves away.
Good exchange - Crown coming out on top.
Crown fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
A nice inside leg kick there by Fuckwell. That's going to slow Crown down.
Crown blocks a head kick by Fuckwell.
Fuckwell throws a leg kick
and Crown counters with a nice uppercut.
Fuckwell throws a nice inside leg kick.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Fuckwell cracks Crown with a good jab.
Crown closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Crown shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says Fuckwell as he avoids it easily.
Eyeonly Fuckwell has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Thomas Crown.
Crown stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Fuckwell.
Fuckwell chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Fuckwell scoring well with a low kick there.
Crown is breathing heavily.
That kick from Fuckwell tenderised Crown's leg. Crown is trying to keep his angry face on.
Crown on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
A looping hook to the body misses from Crown. Fuckwell does a little dance to reset his feet.
Fuckwell avoids a punch combination nicely.
Fuckwell moves out of range as Crown strikes.
Fuckwell scores with a nice strike.
A looping hook to the body misses from Crown. Fuckwell does a little dance to reset his feet.
Fuckwell throws a feint and then finishes with a kick to the body.
Crown throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Crown shoots in but Fuckwell avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Fuckwell with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Fuckwell tries a head kick but it misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A thudding body kick lands there by Fuckwell!
Crown looks to land a combination but Fuckwell avoids it well.
Fuckwell moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Fuckwell scores with a jab.
Fuckwell throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Fuckwell misses with a leg kick.
Fuckwell throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Crown has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Fuckwell.
Crown jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Fuckwell pushes Crown away with a front kick.
Crown throws a right and a left that Fuckwell avoids nicely.
Crown fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
Fuckwell connects with a nice looking jab.
Fuckwell fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Crown on the side of the head.
Fuckwell throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.

Crown is rocked!
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Crown takes one to the chin there.
Crown is still on wobbly legs! Can Fuckwell finish him?
Crown takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Nice body punch from Fuckwell.
Crown tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Crown has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Fuckwell.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fuckwell circles and sees the opportunity to plant his feet and throw a really nice straight left hand that drops Crown to the canvas! Crown doesn't know where he is but he's trying to survive - Fuckwell keeps piling on the pressure and forces the referee to step in! This one is aaaaaall over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:07 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Eyeonly Fuckwell!
As Eyeonly Fuckwell got his breath back, he grabbed the microphone and managed to blurt out the following: Know this brothers, for every infidel child you kill, you get an extra virgin in heaven'.