PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between One Turd (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Tyrone Linford (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Tyrone Linford was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Turd
vs
Linford

175 cm
31
163 lbs
17 - 13 - 0

183 cm
23
170 lbs
8 - 9 - 0

Good wrestling
Great low kicks
Granite chin

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the lightweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 13 - 0, fighting out of New York, One Turd!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 9 - 0, fighting out of New York, Tyrone Linford!
The judges for this bout are John Kavanagh, Franklyn Lucas and Reed Andrews.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Linford cracks Turd with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.

Turd looking for a takedown here - he's got it.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Turd postures up.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Linford is on top in guard.
Linford stopping the sweep attempt from Turd.
Linford trying to control but Turd is working from the bottom.
Linford content to stall in guard here.
Linford trying to control the position from guard on top but Turd is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

The ref stands the fighters back up. Tyrone Linford was stalling too much, according to the referee.
Turd shoots in looking for a takedown but Linford manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Turd's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Linford swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Turd.
Turd throws a leg kick but Linford moved away.
Linford throws a looping overhand right but Turd ducks down to avoid it.
Turd ducks under a wild hook from Linford.
Tyrone Linford seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
A decent looking cross lands there for Linford.
Turd tries to score a power double leg takedown but Linford sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Turd somewhat.
Turd tries to score a power double leg takedown but Linford sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Turd somewhat.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for One Turd. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Linford lands an overhand right.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turd throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Linford's waist but Linford gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Turd off to one side.
Linford checks the leg kick nicely there.
Linford throws the left hand but Turd avoids the punch easily.
No joy there for Turd, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Linford tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Turd thows a body shot but no joy.
A big left from Turd misses.
Linford connects with the punch.
Linford has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
A punch combination from Linford misses.
Turd ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Linford moves away.
Linford catches Turd with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Turd misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turd on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Linford swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Turd takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Linford moves out of range of the body kick.
Linford scores with a sloppy right hand. Turd should have avoided that one.
Linford jabbing away but nothing is landing.
An inside leg kick lands from Linford.
An inside leg kick lands from Turd.
Turd throws a leg kick which misses Linford's front leg but catches the back leg as Linford tries to avoid it.
Linford throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Turd shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says Linford as he avoids it easily.
No luck with that takedown attempt from Turd.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Linford throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Turd counters with an inside leg kick.
Turd on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Turd throws a head kick that misses.
Turd looks to land a combination but Linford avoids it well.
Turd drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Linford throws a hook to the side of Turd's head but Turd sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Turd throws a front kick aimed at Linford's knee but Linford avoids it well.
A punch combination from Linford misses.
Good leg kick by Turd there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Turd throws a series of punches but Linford moves out of range.
Turd shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Linford but Linford pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Linford with a nice cross.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Tyrone Linford dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Turd throws a series of punches but Linford avoids them all with ease.
Sloppy strikes from Linford. Those never looked like landing.
Sloppy strikes from Linford. Those never looked like landing.
Linford looks to land a combination but Turd avoids it well.
Turd misses with a wild body shot.
Turd will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Linford throws a hook but Turd blocks it.

Turd scores with a takedown into Linford's guard.
Turd trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Turd with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.
Linford manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Turd manages to get himself to full guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Linford wants to control from the top but Turd keeps moving.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Turd trying to control the position.
Linford loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Linford stopping the sweep attempt from Turd.

Turd working for a triangle but Linford defends it easily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Linford cracks Turd with a solid left hand.
Turd controls Linford momentarily but Linford frees himself.
Linford with a flurry of punches that miss.
Turd seems keen to control Linford's posture.
Turd's ground tactics aren't going to win him many fans. Let's hope he's got fireworks for us if he gets back to his feet because he's not doing much on the ground.
Linford trying to control the position from guard on top but Turd is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Turd wants to sweep here but Linford controlling him for the moment.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

The ref stands the fighters back up. Tyrone Linford was stalling too much, according to the referee.
Turd takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Turd takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Tyrone Linford seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Linford scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Turd lands a slapping body shot.
Linford waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Turd.
Turd fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Linford manages to avoid it.
Turd chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Linford lands a nice shot to the body.
Turd swings for the body but Linford moves out of range.
Linford misses the shot to the body.
Linford scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Linford throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Linford just misses with a punch to the body.
Linford misses with a jab, cross combination.
Linford is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Turd.
Turd pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Linford misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Linford avoids the head kick by Turd.
Turd avoids the body shot from Linford.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Turd is looking to score with low kicks.
Turd takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
A looping hook to the body misses from Linford. Turd does a little dance to reset his feet.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Tyrone Linford showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

An inside leg kick lands from Turd.
Turd throws a head kick but Linford moves out of range.
One Turd is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Turd throws the left hand but Linford avoids the punch easily.
Linford throws a shot from downtown. Turd moves away and avoids it.
Linford connects with a body shot that sends Turd's belly button to the back.
Linford misses with a telegraphed body shot

and Turd counters with a nice double leg into half guard.
Turd lands with a punch from half guard.
Linford tries to roll over but Turd keeps him under control.
Linford trying to control from the bottom.
Turd tries to pass the half guard into mount. Linford knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Turd working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Turd is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Linford is just riding it out for now. Turd eventually gives up the hold.
Linford wants to get back to his feet.
Turd drops an elbow to the side of Linford's head.
The referee walks around the fighters to get a better view of the action. Turd lands a nice short elbow.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Ground and pound from Turd.
Linford is looking for a sweep. Turd is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Linford keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
One Turd overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Linford is trying to get back to full guard.
Linford avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Turd.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Linford keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Linford is looking for a sweep. Turd is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Linford is trying to defend against the ground and pound but Turd scores with a couple of nice shots.
Linford is trying to defend against the ground and pound but Turd scores with a couple of nice shots.
Turd wants to pass to mount but Linford is defending the position.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Turd trying to control from half guard but Linford is working away.
Linford blocking the ground and pound attempt from Turd.
Linford is looking to get full guard. It looks like he might be successful but at the last minute Turd jumps into side control!
Turd lands a decent elbow from side control.
Turd advances to mount.
Turd scores with a couple of good head shots there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turd connects with a couple of good shots from mount.
Linford tries to reverse the position but Turd maintains control.
Linford is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Turd has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
BOOM! Turd connects with a massive shot to the dome!
Linford is looking to get to half guard.
The crowd growing excited in anticipation of a finish here! Right on cue, Turd cracks his opponent with a massive right hand that draws loud cheers!
Turd with a couple of short strikes.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Turd lands a big shot there that rocks Linford but he's holding on and managing to survive for now.

Linford is rocked!
Turd postures up and connects with a big shot that has rocked Linford badly. He's trying desperately to grab hold of Turd around the waist but Turd pushes him off and unloads with more strikes, forcing the referee to jump in and save him! Turd is the winner by TKO! Turd jumps onto the cage and shouts into the camera. "We did it momma!"

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:57 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). One Turd!
One Turd retains his lightweight title!