PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Laz Herculus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Joe The One Armed Man (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The One Armed Man has chosen Stand Up To be C**ted as his entrance music. Joe The One Armed Man acknowledges the crowd's support as he enters the cage.

Herculus
vs
The One Armed Man

225 cm
26
300 lbs
12 - 5 - 0

185 cm
24
240 lbs
11 - 2 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

BJJ Brown Belt
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Charlie Wang's Tattered Rags & 95% Laundry

Reaper Combatwear
Just Fight

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Laz Herculus!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 11 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Joe The One Armed Man!
The judges for this bout are Jack Bonds, Timothy Bukovac and Frank Antenori.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The One Armed Man throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
The One Armed Man's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Herculus connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! The One Armed Man scrambles back to his feet.
The One Armed Man throws a right and a left that both miss.
The One Armed Man throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Herculus keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Herculus scores with a nice strike.
The One Armed Man lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.

The One Armed Man takes the fight into the clinch.
Herculus looking to stall.
The One Armed Man tries to pull guard but Herculus holds him up against the cage and eventually The One Armed Man drops back down to his feet.
Herculus lands with a short shot to the head.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
The One Armed Man lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
The One Armed Man is trying to wear down his opponent with knees to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Herculus is defending well for now.
The One Armed Man with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Herculus managing to block the knees to the body from The One Armed Man.
Herculus stalling in the clinch but The One Armed Man improves position.
The One Armed Man lands with a light punch inside.
The One Armed Man lands a nice elbow.
The One Armed Man tries a knee to the head but Herculus blocks it.
Herculus is trying to push The One Armed Man away but The One Armed Man has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
The One Armed Man's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
Herculus is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man leaning his opponent against the cage.
Herculus has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.

Herculus breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Herculus connects with a looping right hand.
The One Armed Man missing with a left hand there. Herculus was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Herculus thuds his right hand into The One Armed Man's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Herculus getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Herculus crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from The One Armed Man - the referee stops the clock and Herculus gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says The One Armed Man. Herculus manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
Herculus misses with a jab, cross combination.
Herculus drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Herculus uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man wants to slow Herculus down by chopping away at his legs.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man on the wrong end of a nice jab.
The One Armed Man moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
The One Armed Man avoids the body shot from Herculus.
Herculus swings for the body but The One Armed Man moves out of range.
Herculus is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
The One Armed Man takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
The One Armed Man misses with an uppercut.
The One Armed Man loads up on a big right hand but Herculus slips the punch.
The One Armed Man looks to land a body kick but Herculus moved away.
The One Armed Man with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
The One Armed Man turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.

The One Armed Man closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
A frustrated look appears on Herculus's face as he tries to break the clinch.
The One Armed Man lands a nice uppercut.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
The One Armed Man lands an elbow just above Herculus 's eye.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Herculus pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
The One Armed Man throws a predictable looking body shot
and Herculus connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Herculus scores with a sloppy right hand. The One Armed Man should have avoided that one.
Herculus moves out of range as The One Armed Man throws a body kick.
A swing and a miss from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Herculus is out of range.
The One Armed Man connects with a solid leg kick.
Herculus keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man looks to land a body kick but Herculus moved away.
Herculus scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
The One Armed Man misses with a body kick.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
The One Armed Man misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Herculus.
The One Armed Man dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Herculus. That did some damage!
Herculus checks a leg kick nicely.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Joe The One Armed Man dominated that round.
That's time! Herculus's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Herculus throws a left and a right that both miss
and The One Armed Man counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Herculus thinking.
The One Armed Man misses with a leg kick
and Herculus makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
A nice leg kick lands there from The One Armed Man.
Herculus swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
The One Armed Man throws a right and a left that both miss.
The One Armed Man throws a nice outside leg kick.
Herculus pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Herculus uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from The One Armed Man.
Herculus scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
The One Armed Man lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from The One Armed Man.
Herculus fakes high and swings low for a body shot but The One Armed Man manages to avoid it.
Herculus moves out of range of the body kick.
The One Armed Man misses with a takedown attempt - Herculus sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The One Armed Man feints and then cracks Herculus's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Herculus down.
Herculus is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
A slow jab from Herculus misses its intended target.
Herculus fakes high and swings low for a body shot but The One Armed Man manages to avoid it.
The One Armed Man throws a push kick but Herculus slaps the foot to one side.
Herculus on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
The One Armed Man misses the shot to the body.
Herculus is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Herculus misses with a few strikes there.
The One Armed Man misses with a body shot.

The One Armed Man clinches up with Herculus and pushes him back against the cage.
The One Armed Man misses with a hook to the ribs.

Herculus manages to break the clinch.
A nice leg kick lands there from The One Armed Man.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A nice inside leg kick there by The One Armed Man. That's going to slow Herculus down.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
The One Armed Man throws a shot from downtown. Herculus moves away and avoids it.
Herculus circles away from the clinch attempt.
The One Armed Man scores with a leg kick.
Sloppy strikes from Herculus. Those never looked like landing.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
The One Armed Man lands with a thumping leg kick.
The One Armed Man slips a jab from Herculus.
Joe The One Armed Man seems to be getting the better of the standup.
The One Armed Man smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
The One Armed Man shoots in for a double leg but Herculus sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Herculus takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
The One Armed Man misses with a leg kick
and Herculus connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
The One Armed Man lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man tries to land a leg kick but Herculus saw it coming and moves away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.

The fight moves into the clinch position.
Herculus is trying to push The One Armed Man away but The One Armed Man has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Herculus misses with a short punch on the inside.
Herculus is trying to push The One Armed Man away but The One Armed Man has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
The One Armed Man landing some nice looking knees to the body.
The One Armed Man creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Herculus's defenses.
The One Armed Man displaying some good clinch control by pressing Herculus up against the cage.
The One Armed Man misses with a punch to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Herculus can't break the clinch.
The One Armed Man pushes Herculus back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Herculus wants to break free but The One Armed Man has control.
Herculus takes a knee to the side of the body.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
The One Armed Man lands a left hand.
The One Armed Man fails to pull the fight into his guard.
Laz Herculus has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Joe The One Armed Man.

The One Armed Man successfully pulls guard.
The One Armed Man tries to land a sweep but no joy.
The One Armed Man can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Herculus controls the pace.
Herculus looking to sit in guard and control but The One Armed Man gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.
Herculus will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Herculus keeping moving, preventing The One Armed Man from controlling successfully.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Joe The One Armed Man showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin! The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!

The One Armed Man tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Herculus was well out of range. Poor timing from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Herculus throws a combination but it was largely blocked by The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man misses with a body shot.
The One Armed Man lands with a thumping leg kick.
The One Armed Man ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Herculus moves away.
Joe The One Armed Man seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
The One Armed Man ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Herculus works over The One Armed Man's head and body with a nice combination.
The One Armed Man looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Good exchange - Herculus coming out on top.
A solid leg kick lands there for The One Armed Man.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
The One Armed Man displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Herculus throws out the jab.
Good standup being displayed there by Herculus as he connects with a hook.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The One Armed Man throws a leg kick that misses.
The One Armed Man throws a half hearted mid kick.
The One Armed Man misses with a combination
and Herculus counters with a nice uppercut.
The One Armed Man moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
The One Armed Man misses with an uppercut.
Herculus rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but The One Armed Man moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
The One Armed Man stuns Herculus with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
An inside leg kick lands from The One Armed Man.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Herculus checks a leg kick.
Herculus on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
The One Armed Man misses with a leg kick.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
A good leg kick by The One Armed Man.
Laz Herculus has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Joe The One Armed Man is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man throws a low kick but Herculus avoids it.
The One Armed Man throws a leg kick that misses.
The One Armed Man with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
The One Armed Man uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Herculus.

The One Armed Man takes the fight into the clinch.
Herculus wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
The One Armed Man lands a nice knee to the body.
Knees to the body from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man slowing the pace effectively.

Herculus breaks from the clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man throws a wild body kick that Herculus sees coming a mile off.
The One Armed Man throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Herculus's waist but Herculus gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing The One Armed Man off to one side.
The One Armed Man feints and then cracks Herculus's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Herculus down.
The One Armed Man tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Herculus is able to avoid easily.
A jab from The One Armed Man does it's job there.
Herculus takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
The One Armed Man connects with a solid leg kick.
The One Armed Man with a body punch. A glancing blow.
The One Armed Man scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
The One Armed Man takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
The One Armed Man takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
The One Armed Man throws a right and a left that Herculus avoids nicely.
Herculus misses with an uppercut.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Herculus misses the jab.
The One Armed Man tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Herculus was well out of range. Poor timing from The One Armed Man.
Herculus takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
The One Armed Man wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
The One Armed Man lands with a thumping leg kick.
The One Armed Man fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Herculus.
Herculus jabs The One Armed Man to the body, keeping him at a distance.
The One Armed Man dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Herculus. That did some damage!
Herculus avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Herculus on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Herculus connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
The One Armed Man staying out of range there.

And that's the end of the fight!
Joe The One Armed Man comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well The One Armed Man has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.

Judge Jack Bonds scores the fight for Joe The One Armed Man!
Judge Timothy Bukovac scores the fight for Joe The One Armed Man!
Judge Frank Antenori scores the fight for Joe The One Armed Man!

Joe The One Armed Man wins by unanimous decision!
A relieved looking Joe The One Armed Man thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.