PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Ichabod Klopfenstein (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Alpha Dog (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Ichabod Klopfenstein had real problems making weight for this fight. After initially coming in at 156.7lbs, he had two hours to make the official fight weight. He made it but it will have taken a lot out of him to cut those extra few pounds. There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

Klopfenstein
vs
Dog

169 cm
32
168 lbs
23 - 13 - 0

192 cm
26
155 lbs
10 - 7 - 0

Good wrestling
Great elbows
Granite chin

ADCC Champion
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Steel Penn's Laundry 93%

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 23 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Ichabod Klopfenstein !
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Alpha Dog!
The judges for this bout are Winston Howard, Eliza Hachem and Bruno Hogan.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Dog doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with an inside leg kick.
Dog with a lazy takedown attempt
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice low kick that buckles Dog's knee momentarily.
Dog misses with a takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with a slapping leg kick.
Ichabod Klopfenstein has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Alpha Dog.
Dog doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with a big head kick but Dog shrugs it off.
Dog fails with the takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with a head kick. That will keep Dog thinking before he tries any more sloppy attacks!

Dog is rocked!
Dog waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Klopfenstein .
Dog is still on wobbly legs! Can Klopfenstein finish him?
Dog fails with the takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice leg kick.
Dog seems to have recovered his senses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dog tries for a takedown but Klopfenstein circles away easily
and Dog takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Dog shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and Klopfenstein makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Klopfenstein pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Dog is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Klopfenstein looks for the body kick but Dog saw that one coming.
Dog doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with a good, hard body kick but Dog shrugs it off.
Ichabod Klopfenstein is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Dog fails with the takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with a flying knee. Nice.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dog lands a nice shot to the body.
Dog with a lazy takedown attempt
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice kick to the body.
Dog looks gassed!
Dog misses with a takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Dog fails with the takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with a good low kick that Dog was not able to check.
Dog tries for a takedown but Klopfenstein circles away easily
and Klopfenstein counters with a head kick.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Dog with a poor takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with an inside leg kick.
Dog with a poor takedown
and Klopfenstein counters with a head kick that crumples his opponent - he's in a world of trouble! Klopfenstein looks at the referee who does nothing so Klopfenstein lands a crushing right that sends Dog to the floor! This time the ref steps in to end the fight.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:58 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Ichabod Klopfenstein !
An out of breath and clearly excited Ichabod Klopfenstein thanked XTREME PWNAGE: Down Under! for their help and support (and free stuff they sent him).