PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Dumbass McWeakhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Michael Patton (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Patton has chosen Marilyn Manson - Born Villain as his entrance music. The crowd giving both fighters a great reception on their way into the arena. That's good to see.

McWeakhands
vs
Patton

168 cm
34
164 lbs
28 - 8 - 1

175 cm
28
162 lbs
24 - 8 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Diamond Nutrition 160q
Steel Penn's Laundry 93%

Hell's Balls Recovery (160)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 28 - 8 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumbass McWeakhands!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 24 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Michael Patton!
The judges for this bout are Jack Bonds, Timothy Bukovac and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McWeakhands takes a swing at Patton's ribcage but misses.
Patton swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Patton throws a head kick that McWeakhands semi-blocks.
Donk. Patton catches McWeakhands right on the button with a cross.
Patton buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
McWeakhands pushes Patton away with a front kick.
McWeakhands jabs Patton to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Patton missing with a left hand there. McWeakhands was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
McWeakhands tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Patton ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
A low kick from McWeakhands misses
and Patton counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps McWeakhands thinking.
McWeakhands closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Patton tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
McWeakhands tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Patton was well out of range. Poor timing from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands lands with a head kick! That's gotta hurt.
Dumbass McWeakhands seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Patton connects with a body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands takes one to the chin there.
McWeakhands defending well as Patton loads up on a big left hand.
McWeakhands fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Patton checks it well.
A big right from McWeakhands misses.
McWeakhands falls off balance throwing a combination
and Patton counters with a nice uppercut.
Patton takes a kick to the side of the head.
McWeakhands feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Patton's calf.
A looping hook to the body misses from McWeakhands. Patton does a little dance to reset his feet.
Patton takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
McWeakhands swings for the body but Patton moves out of range.
Patton bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of McWeakhands's head.
McWeakhands is looking to wear down Patton with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
McWeakhands jabs Patton to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Patton has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
McWeakhands swings and misses with a hook to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Patton missing with a left hand there. McWeakhands was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
McWeakhands throws a quick inside leg kick.
McWeakhands throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Patton on the side of the head.
A slow jab from Patton misses its intended target.
A head kick misses from Patton.
McWeakhands misses with a body shot.
McWeakhands gets off balance looking for a body kick
and Patton cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Patton steps to the side to avoid the strikes from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
A bone on bone clash there as Patton blocks the leg kick.
Patton on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
McWeakhands fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Patton is out of range.
McWeakhands looks to land a right hand but Patton moved out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands tries to land a leg kick but Patton saw it coming and moves away.
McWeakhands fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from McWeakhands, right into the meat.
Nice uppercut there from Patton.
McWeakhands throws a nice outside leg kick.
Patton takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Patton tries to close the distance and clinch up but McWeakhands swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Patton scores with a body shot.
McWeakhands connects with a good right hand that stumbles Patton. Patton circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
McWeakhands ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
McWeakhands looks to land a left hand but Patton moved out of range nicely.
Patton cracks McWeakhands with an open hand slap.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by McWeakhands.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands's jab looks to have found its range, popping Patton under the eye.
Patton checks the leg kick.
McWeakhands works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
McWeakhands lands a right hook to the body.
McWeakhands looks to land a body kick but Patton moved away.
Patton on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by McWeakhands. McWeakhands obviously looking to wear him down.
That kick from McWeakhands tenderised Patton's leg. Patton is trying to keep his angry face on.
Patton just misses with a punch to the body.
McWeakhands punishes Patton's body with a nice straight punch.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from McWeakhands lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Patton has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Patton and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
McWeakhands throws a big shot that misses.
McWeakhands lands a body shot.
McWeakhands scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
McWeakhands misses with the body kick
letting Patton counter with a right hand.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumbass McWeakhands dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

McWeakhands with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
McWeakhands throws a hook to the side of Patton's head but Patton sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
McWeakhands dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Patton tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
McWeakhands blocks a head kick by Patton.
Patton tried to score with a low kick but McWeakhands checks it.
McWeakhands connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick
and McWeakhands takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Patton takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
McWeakhands misses the shot to the body.
McWeakhands lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Patton is looking to chop away at McWeakhands's legs.
Patton tries a low kick but McWeakhands avoids it.
Patton will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
We are yet to see a takedown attempt from Patton in the fight. On paper you would think he is the more dominant ground fighter so let's see if these unusual tactics pay off.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Nice body kick there by Patton.
Patton on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
McWeakhands connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
McWeakhands blocks a head kick by Patton.
McWeakhands takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Patton motions for McWeakhands to come forward. Patton throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Patton checks a leg kick.
McWeakhands scores with a hook.

Patton is rocked!
Patton takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Patton is breathing heavily.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
McWeakhands fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Dumbass McWeakhands is winning the standup battle so far.
McWeakhands swings and misses with a hook to the body.
McWeakhands is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Patton is still on wobbly legs! Can McWeakhands finish him?
Patton avoids the head kick by McWeakhands.
Patton seems to have recovered his senses.
McWeakhands lands with a right that hurts Patton. Patton looks to clinch but McWeakhands throws a short knee that drops Patton. This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:05 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punch and Knee). Dumbass McWeakhands!
Dumbass McWeakhands seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.