PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Eyeonly Fuckwell (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Pentti Hilkuri (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Fuckwell kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is call to prayer. The crowd giving both fighters a great reception on their way into the arena. That's good to see.

Fuckwell
vs
Hilkuri

191 cm
27
194 lbs
14 - 5 - 0

184 cm
24
193 lbs
14 - 5 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Granite chin

Jihad Fight Gear-Outkast Infidels Version
Jihad Fight Gear-Outkast Infidels Version

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 5 - 0, fighting out of London, Eyeonly Fuckwell!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 5 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Pentti Hilkuri!
The judges for this bout are Fedor Mirinova, Valeri Chadov and Illya Tyunina.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Fuckwell changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Hilkuri lands a right hook to the body.
Hilkuri wants to slow Fuckwell down by chopping away at his legs.
A swing and a miss from Fuckwell.
Fuckwell stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Hilkuri.
Fuckwell lands a jab to Hilkuri's midsection.
Hilkuri throws a leg kick
and Fuckwell counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Fuckwell dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Hilkuri. That did some damage!
Hilkuri throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Hilkuri cracks Fuckwell with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Hilkuri waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Fuckwell.
Hilkuri throws a body kick that misses.
Hilkuri on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
A big right from Fuckwell misses.
An inside leg kick lands from Fuckwell.
Hilkuri throws an overhand right that lands on Fuckwell's shoulder, as Fuckwell tries to avoid the shot.
A solid body kick from Fuckwell.
Fuckwell takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Hilkuri scores with a leg kick.
Hilkuri cracks Fuckwell with a right hand to the side of the head.

It looks like Eyeonly Fuckwell has been cut.
Hilkuri misses with a head kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fuckwell lands with a hook. Hilkuri tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Hilkuri throws a leg kick
and Fuckwell counters with a solid body kick.
Fuckwell lands with a shot to the body.
Hilkuri tests Fuckwell's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Hilkuri tries to land a front kick but Fuckwell steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Hilkuri lands with a nice body punch.
Fuckwell misses with a body shot.
Hilkuri is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Hilkuri misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Fuckwell.
Fuckwell finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Hilkuri will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Fuckwell throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Fuckwell jabs Hilkuri to the body, keeping him at a distance.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Fuckwell keeps Hilkuri at a distance using the push kick.
Fuckwell fails with an attempt to clinch.
Hilkuri throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Hilkuri fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Fuckwell manages to avoid it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fuckwell connects with a jab.
Hilkuri throws a half hearted mid kick.
Pentti Hilkuri seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Fuckwell throws a leg kick that misses.
Fuckwell misses with a low kick as Hilkuri jumps back.
Hilkuri tries to land a body kick
and Fuckwell counters with a leg kick.
A big right from Fuckwell misses.
A nice inside leg kick there by Hilkuri. That's going to slow Fuckwell down.
Hilkuri lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Hilkuri throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Hilkuri throws out a loose jab but Fuckwell uses good head movement to avoid it.
Fuckwell misses with a lunging right hand
and Hilkuri counters with a nice uppercut.
Hilkuri jabs away that one connects to the head of his opponent.
Hilkuri delivers a nice body kick.
Fuckwell lands with a thumping leg kick.
Hilkuri cracks the inside of Fuckwell's front leg.
Hilkuri throws a solid leg kick but Fuckwell takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Hilkuri.
Hilkuri scores with a one two! Fuckwell had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.

Fuckwell is rocked!
Fuckwell has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Hilkuri.
Oh Fuckwell is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Fuckwell is breathing heavily.
Hilkuri is throwing punches like he's double parked. Oh my word! Huge right hand from Hilkuri shuts the power down on Fuckwell. Lights out, game over! Hilkuri is your winner.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:55 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punches). Pentti Hilkuri!
A very excited looking Pentti Hilkuri made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.