PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Captain Caveman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Kyle Scissors (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Caveman's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Captain Caveman Intro. Scissors has chosen Paper Cut - Linkin Park as his entrance music. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Caveman
vs
Scissors

180 cm
25
175 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

181 cm
34
185 lbs
23 - 11 - 2

BJJ Purple Belt
World class MT
Cardio machine

ADCC Champion
Good kicks
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Captain Caveman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 23 - 11 - 2, fighting out of Las Vegas, Kyle Scissors!
The judges for this bout are Frank Dennis, Cecil Peabody and Gwen Towbar.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Scissors wants to clinch.
Scissors throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Scissors throws a head kick that misses.
Scissors takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Caveman looks to land a left hand but Scissors moved out of range nicely.
Caveman swings widly with a right hand
and Scissors counters with a right hand to the body.
Scissors misses with a head kick.
Scissors gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Caveman throws a hook but Scissors blocks it.

Scissors has managed to clinch.
Caveman misses with an elbow over the top.
Scissors blocks the elbow strike.
Scissors swings away with an uppercut that misses.
A body shot lands from Scissors.
Scissors misses with a body punch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Scissors holding his opponent close, against the cage.
Caveman landing knees to the head.
With the fighters up against the cage, Caveman throws an elbow but misses.
Scissors can't find room to land a body shot as Caveman controls the action.
Scissors taking a breather.
Caveman is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Scissors is defending well for now.
Caveman tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Scissors avoids it.
Scissors managing to block the knees to the body from Caveman.

Scissors's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Some wild striking there from Caveman.
Scissors bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Some wild striking there from Scissors.
Scissors keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Caveman.
Caveman is looking to clinch but Scissors is avoiding it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Scissors shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Caveman as he jumps to the side.
Caveman buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Caveman catches Scissors with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Caveman ducks right into an uppercut from Scissors.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Scissors lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Caveman has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Caveman and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Caveman misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.

Scissors closes the distance and gets a trip takedown into side control. Caveman quickly recovers to half guard.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
We've had a lack of effective grappling in the last minute or so, which could well see a referee standup.
Still in half guard, Scissors seems content to control.
Caveman won't allow Scissors to pass to mount.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

Caveman has one foot on Scissors's thigh - he pushes off and manages to get back to his feet.
Scissors tries to clinch but Caveman moves out of range.
Scissors throws a head kick but Caveman moves out of range.
Caveman lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Caveman throws a lazy right hand but Scissors sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Scissors throws a nice looking combination but Caveman bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Caveman looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Scissors shoots in for a takedown but Caveman shows good takedown defense.
Caveman fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Scissors has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Caveman with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Caveman blocks a head kick by Scissors.
Scissors wants to clinch up but Caveman keeps it at a distance.
Scissors throws a shot from downtown. Caveman moves away and avoids it.
Scissors moves out of range of the strikes.
Scissors shoots in for a takedown but Caveman shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Captain Caveman has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Kyle Scissors.
Caveman thows a left - swing and a miss!
Caveman stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Scissors moves in looking to clinch but Caveman pushes him off.
Caveman misses with a hook. Scissors ducked under it nicely.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Caveman swats away the attempt to clinch by Scissors.
Captain Caveman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Scissors waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Caveman.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Caveman.
A big right from Caveman misses.
Caveman misses with a hook.
A left lands for Scissors.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Caveman is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Scissors.
Caveman swats away the attempt to clinch by Scissors.
Caveman scores with a head kick. Scissors tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Scissors closes this distance looking for a takedown but Caveman circles away.
Caveman changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.

Scissors closes the distance and gets a trip takedown into side control. Caveman quickly recovers to half guard.
Caveman is trying to stand.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Kyle Scissors will probably get the nod.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Scissors looking to score a takedown here. Caveman is defending well but Scissors drives through and ends up in Caveman's guard.
Caveman knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Scissors on the ground.
Caveman is controlling Scissors's posture.
Caveman looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Scissors trying to control the position from guard on top but Caveman is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

OK we're going to have a standup here. Kyle Scissors hasn't been effective enough on the ground and the referee wants a restart.
Caveman scores with a leg kick.
Scissors tries to score a power double leg takedown but Caveman sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Scissors somewhat.
A head kick misses from Caveman.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Scissors tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
A telegraphed right hand from Caveman misses the target.
Caveman throws a chopping leg kick but Scissors manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Kyle Scissors is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Scissors looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Scissors is looking to clinch.
Caveman misses with a shot to the body

and Scissors counters with a takedown into side control.
Caveman keeps Scissors under control for a moment.
Caveman sneaks back into half guard.
Scissors takes advantage of the dominant position to land a couple of big hammer fists.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
Caveman wants to control but Scissors is keeping busy.
Caveman is looking for a sweep. Scissors is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Scissors not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
Caveman pushes Scissors off looking to stand but Scissors dives back in and keeps control.
Scissors trying to control from Caveman's half guard. Caveman has other ideas though and has regained full guard.
Kyle Scissors has got the better of the ground game so far.
Scissors showing good wrestling skills to control the position.
Caveman looking to control.
Caveman is looking to stand up but Scissors isn't so interested in that idea.
Caveman wants to sweep but no luck.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
Scissors takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Scissors tries to clinch up but Caveman circles away and keeps his distance.
Caveman darts in trying to clinch
and Scissors cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Caveman throws a body punch but Scissors moves out of range.
Caveman tries to land a leg kick but Scissors saw it coming and moves away.
Captain Caveman is winning the standup battle so far.
Caveman waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Scissors.
Scissors just misses with a punch to the body.
Scissors avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Caveman avoids a kick to the body.
Jab, jab by Caveman - just one landing.
The fight stays on the outside here - Scissors looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Caveman, right into the meat.
Scissors throws a body kick that misses.
Caveman ducks under a wild hook from Scissors.
Scissors keeps the fight on the outside.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Caveman throws a quick head kick that skims the top of Scissors's head.
Scissors misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Caveman moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.

Scissors has taken the fight to the clinch.
Scissors misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Caveman.
Scissors takes a knee right on the jaw!
Scissors is working Caveman over against the cage.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Scissors avoids a wild elbow strike from Caveman.
Scissors on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Caveman looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Scissors takes an elbow to the temple.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
With the fighters up against the cage, Caveman throws an elbow but misses.
Caveman pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Caveman with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.
With the fighters up against the cage, Caveman throws an elbow but misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Kyle Scissors will probably get the nod - 10:9.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin! This is the final round!

Scissors slips a jab from Caveman.
Caveman looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Scissors looks to land a left hand but Caveman moved out of range nicely.
Scissors connects with a body shot that sends Caveman's belly button to the back.
Scissors misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Caveman thows a left - swing and a miss!
An inside leg kick from Caveman misses.
Scissors drops his hands momentarily and Caveman takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Caveman tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Caveman is looking to land body kicks.
Scissors tries to clinch up
and Caveman counters with a low kick, right behind Scissors 's knee.
Scissors looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
No joy there for Scissors, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Caveman tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Caveman lands a jab followed by a nice looking cross.
Scissors walks into a straight right hand from Caveman.
Caveman throws a lazy right hand but Scissors sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.

Scissors shoots in and gets a takedown into half guard. Scissors showed some decent athleticism there.
Scissors wants to free his trapped foot but Caveman is holding on for dear life with his legs.
Caveman pushes Scissors off looking to stand but Scissors dives back in and keeps control.
Scissors is trying to control the action in half guard but Caveman is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Caveman pushes Scissors off looking to stand but Scissors dives back in and keeps control.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Scissors wants to control but Caveman is keeping him busy.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.

OK we're going to have a standup here. Kyle Scissors hasn't been effective enough on the ground and the referee wants a restart.
Caveman throws a right and a left that Scissors avoids nicely.
Scissors is looking to take this fight into the clinch.

Scissors darts in and clinches Caveman up against the cage.
Scissors throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Scissors blocks the elbow strike.

Scissors breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Caveman misses with a hook

so Scissors counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
Caveman avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Scissors trying to control the position from guard on top but Caveman is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Caveman is trying to stand up but he's not managed so far.

Kyle Scissors has forced the referee to step in and restart the fight on the feet.
Scissors takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Scissors throws a head kick but Caveman moves out of range.
Caveman throws a right and a left that both miss.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Caveman.
Scissors avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Scissors pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Caveman throws a push kick but Scissors slaps the foot to one side.
Scissors shoots in looking for a takedown but Caveman manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Scissors's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Scissors looks for the body kick but Caveman saw that one coming.

Scissors has managed to clinch.
Scissors takes an elbow to the temple.
Scissors misses with a punch to the body.
Caveman with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Kneeeeees! The crowd are calling for knees to the body. Caveman obliges.
Caveman unloads a knee to the mid-section.
Caveman on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Kyle Scissors is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Scissors digs a right hand underneath Caveman's ribcage. Caveman let out a lung full of air as it connected.
With the fighters up against the cage, Scissors throws an elbow but misses.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Caveman unloads a knee to the mid-section. Scissors lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Scissors takes an elbow to the temple.
Scissors throws an elbow but it misses.
Caveman with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Captain Caveman has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Caveman with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Kyle Scissors.
I've got Scissors winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Frank Dennis scores the fight 28:30
Judge Cecil Peabody scores the fight 27:30
Judge Gwen Towbar scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Kyle Scissors!
Kyle Scissors took to the microphone after his victory and thanked his sponsors, Black Hand Alliance Only Laundry Service for their support in the buildup to the fight.