PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Penis Pumpen (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and George Patton (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Pumpen
vs
Patton

191 cm
21
264 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

200 cm
21
260 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Solid Muay Thai
Good chin

BJJ Blue Belt
Counter striker
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Penis Pumpen!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, George Patton!
The judges for this bout are Ben Zyskovitsi, Tarja Halkonen and Johanna Lukiainen.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Patton has a takedown stuffed.

Pumpen moves into the clinch successfully.

Pumpen escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

Pumpen gets a clinch.

Pumpen breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Patton shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Pumpen as he jumps to the side.

Pumpen has Patton up against the cage in a clinch.
Pumpen landing knees to the body.
Pumpen unloads a knee to the mid-section. Patton lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
Patton is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Pumpen is keeping busy.

Pumpen breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Pumpen has closed the distance and engaged Patton in a clinch.
Patton is working for takedown but Pumpen is calmly controlling the position for now.
Penis Pumpen has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of George Patton.
with the fighters clinched against the cage, Pumpen creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Pumpen misses with a straight left.
Pumpen could do with loosing a few pounds - he looks very soft around the mid section, to put it politely.

Pumpen drives through and clinches with Patton against the cage.
Pumpen with an attempt at a knee that misses.

Pumpen breaks from the clinch.
Patton avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Pumpen is looking to clinch.

Pumpen gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Patton misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Pumpen.
Patton jumps guard but Pumpen stands there with Patton around his waist. Patton gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Patton tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Pumpen just stands there and leans against the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Pumpen breaks the clinch.
Patton tries to clinch but fails miserably

and Pumpen counters by moving into the clinch.
Pumpen scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Pumpen misses with a hook to the ribs.
Patton looking to slow down the pace here.
Patton jumps guard but Pumpen stands there with Patton around his waist. Patton gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Pumpen tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Pumpen with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Pumpen misses with a knee to the head.
A knee to the head by Pumpen.
Pumpen managing to block the knees to the body from Patton.
Pumpen scores a nice knee to the body.
Pumpen with a knee to the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Patton fails to pull guard.
Pumpen throws a knee to the head but misses.
Patton tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Pumpen just stands there and leans against the cage.

Patton pulls guard effortlessly.

Patton is looking to sinch up a triangle. Pumpen throws the leg off to one side though and gets in tight to Patton's body to avoid the submission. Patton has instead reached around Pumpen's neck and now has a guillotine! Oh, this is biiiig trouble! Patton arches his back and squeezes and forces the tap from his hapless opponent.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:37 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Guillotine). George Patton!