PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dante Smith (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartman's entrance music is All Within My Hands. A fine choice. Eric Cartman is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Cartman
vs
Smith

199 cm
26
283 lbs
9 - 4 - 0

193 cm
33
260 lbs
14 - 9 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Good low kicks
Good gas tank

Valhalla Q160 Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 4 - 0, fighting out of London, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 9 - 0, fighting out of London, Dante Smith!
The judges for this bout are Colin Fotheringham, Chris Edwards and Donald Grub.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cartman wants to clinch up but Smith keeps it at a distance.
Cartman keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.

It looks like Dante Smith has been cut.
Smith uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Cartman.
Smith scoring well with a low kick there.
Smith misses with a series of wild punches.
Smith keeps the fight on the outside.
Cartman lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
Smith is looking to land body kicks.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Cartman takes a swing at Smith's ribcage but misses.
Smith slips a jab and a cross from Cartman.
Cartman throws a nice looking combination but Smith bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Smith misses with the combination.
Cartman tries to clinch there but Smith circles away.
Smith pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Smith swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Cartman wants to clinch
and Smith counters with a solid body kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman lands the left hand.
Smith throws a low kick, looking for Cartman's leg but Cartman calmly moves out of range.
Cartman takes a swing at Smith's ribcage but misses.
Smith misses with a series of wild punches.
Smith moves away from the strike by Cartman.
Cartman misses with a series of wild punches.
Cartman tries to clinch there but Smith circles away.
A left lands for Smith.
Cartman moves in looking to clinch but Smith pushes him off.
Cartman scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Smith doesn't seem bothered though.
Smith lands with a right hand.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Cartman throws an overhand right that lands on Smith's shoulder, as Smith tries to avoid the shot.
Nice defenses there by Smith.
Cartman throws a series of punches but Smith avoids them all with ease.
Cartman connects with a good right hand that stumbles Smith. Smith circles away out of range and recomposes himself.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman lands a jab.
Cartman connects with a single shot there.
Smith shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Cartman tries to clinch but Smith moves out of range.
Cartman throws a hook to the side of Smith's head but Smith sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Cartman tries to clinch up but Smith circles away and keeps his distance.
Cartman tries to clinch up
and Smith counters with a stiff right hand.
Cartman scores with a nice strike.
Smith circles away from the clinch attempt.
Cartman tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Cartman checks a leg kick.
Smith throws a nice looking combination but Cartman bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Smith looks to land a body kick but Cartman moved away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Smith to score with a decent uppercut.
Cartman tries to clinch up.
Cartman moves in looking to clinch but Smith pushes him off.
Cartman throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Smith throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Smith throws a head kick that misses.
Cartman throws a big shot that misses.
Cartman tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Smith paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Smith thows a body shot but no joy.
Smith throws a head kick that misses.
Cartman cracks Smith with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Cartman misses with an uppercut. Smith saw that one coming.
Cartman throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Cartman tries to clinch but Smith is having none of it.
Smith misses with a body shot.
Cartman throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Smith tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Cartman was well out of range. Poor timing from Smith.
Eric Cartman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman misses with a body shot.
Cartman blocks a jab.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A looping hook to the body misses from Smith. Cartman does a little dance to reset his feet.
Smith throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
A nice leg kick lands there from Smith.
Smith bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
A jab lands there for Smith.
The fight stays on the outside here - Cartman looks like he's thinking about clinching though.

Cartman rushes Smith and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.

Cartman's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Cartman tries to clinch but Smith moves out of range.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Cartman blocks the body kick.
Cartman misses with a hook

and Smith counters with a crisp one two that drops Cartman! Smith thinks about following him to the mat for a moment but instead steps back and waves Cartman to his feet! Cartman is in big trouble!
Cartman throws a looping overhand right but Smith ducks down to avoid it.
Cartman moves in looking to clinch but Smith pushes him off.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Dante Smith will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Dante Smith's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

A jab from Smith misses.
Cartman misses with a double jab.
Smith pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Cartman misses with a series of wild punches.

Cartman has managed to clinch.
Cartman creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Smith is looking to break free of the clinch but Cartman has double underhooks.
Cartman misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Smith.
Cartman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
The referee is keeping an eye on Cartman - much more stalling and he will separate the fighters.
Cartman blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Cartman misses with a short punch on the inside.
Cartman throws a punch but it's blocked by Smith.
A short left from Cartman.
Smith lands with a light punch inside.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The referee calls for Smith to work.
Cartman tries to break free but Smith pushes him back against the cage.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Smith takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
Cartman pushes off an throws an elbow but Smith leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Cartman with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Cartman tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Smith's elbow.

Cartman's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Smith throws a right hand that Cartman ducks under and follows up with a left that Cartman also avoids with ease.
Cartman swings for the body but Smith moves out of range.

Cartman clinches up with Smith and pushes him back against the cage.
A short right from Cartman on the inside.
Cartman working some nice short punches in the clinch.

That has opened up Dante Smith's cut even more.
Smith stalling against the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Cartman.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Smith controlling the action here for a moment.
Cartman misses with an elbow over the top.
Cartman wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Cartman keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Smith's efforts to push away.
Cartman has a couple of punches blocked by Smith.
Cartman working aggressively here.
Cartman with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Cartman pushes Smith back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.

Cartman escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Nice defenses there by Smith.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The fight stays on the outside here - Cartman looks like he's thinking about clinching though.

Cartman closes the distance and clinches.
Cartman is trying to stall.
Cartman's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.

Smith breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Dante Smith seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Smith swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Cartman.
Cartman lands a really nice looking cross but Smith seems unphased.
Cartman misses with a straight right.

Cartman moves into the clinch successfully.

Cartman breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Smith takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Cartman will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Smith misses with an attempted mid kick.
Cartman tries to clinch but Smith is having none of it.
Smith connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Smith takes one on the button.
Smith throws a body punch but Cartman moves out of range.
The fight stays on the outside here - Cartman looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Cartman thows a body shot but no joy.
Cartman checks the leg kick nicely there.

Cartman gets a clinch.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Cartman tries to stall but Smith uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Smith tries a body shot but Cartman blocks it.
Smith lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Cartman is trying to stall.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Dante Smith's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Cartman tries to clinch up but Smith circles away and keeps his distance.
Smith throws a leg kick which misses Cartman's front leg but catches the back leg as Cartman tries to avoid it.
No joy there for Cartman, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Cartman tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Smith paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Smith swats away the attempt to clinch by Cartman.
Smith ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Cartman tries to close the distance and clinch up but Smith swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Cartman bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Cartman throws a big shot that misses.
Cartman wants to clinch up but Smith keeps it at a distance.
Cartman is looking to clinch but Smith is avoiding it.
Smith throws a right and a left that both miss.
Smith takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Smith comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Smith scores with a slapping inside leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Smith was well out of range. Poor timing from Cartman.
Cartman with a jab.
Cartman fails with an attempt to clinch.
Cartman lands a body shot.
Smith walks into a stiff left hand from Cartman.

Cartman moves into the clinch.
Smith wants to stall.
Smith is persisting with his attempts to control the action in the clinch, rather than do any real damage.
Cartman wants to get back to striking at distance but Smith won't allow it.
Cartman prevents Smith from breaking the clinch.

Cartman breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Cartman wants to clinch up but Smith keeps it at a distance.
Cartman tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Smith misses with a jab, cross combination.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Smith throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Smith throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
A clash of legs there as Cartman blocks the low kick.
Smith blocks a jab.
Smith throws a head kick but Cartman moves out of range.
Smith blocks a jab.
Smith takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Cartman misses with a wild combination.
Cartman tries to clinch but Smith moves out of range.
Smith lands with a slapping head kick.
Smith scores with a head kick.
Cartman is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Smith.

Cartman clinches.
Smith tries to break free but Cartman pushes him back against the cage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Smith blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Cartman tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Smith's elbow.

Cartman manages to break the clinch.
Smith tries to bum rush Cartman with a series of wild strikes but Cartman uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Smith lands a nice leg kick that just misses Cartman's sensitive parts.
Cartman fails with an attempt to clinch.
Cartman throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Smith on the side of the head.
Cartman feints a jab promting Smith to slip. Cartman then demonstrates his capabilities by jabbing again. Smith slips again and ducks right into an uppercut.
Dante Smith is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Smith throws a low kick, looking for Cartman's leg but Cartman calmly moves out of range.
Smith keeps the fight on the outside.
Smith fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Smith swinging wildly here.
Smith dodges the punch combination from Cartman.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Smith gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Cartman.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Smith circles away from the clinch attempt.
Smith feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Cartmans jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Cartman comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Cartman with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Smith to score with a decent uppercut.
Smith avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Smith misses with a series of wild punches.
Cartman fails in his attempt to clinch.
Smith rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Cartman moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Cartman lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Cartman looks to land a right hand but Smith moved out of range.
Smith slips a jab and a cross from Cartman.
Cartman throws the left hand but Smith avoids the punch easily.

And that's the end of the fight!
Eric Cartman showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Cartman has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Colin Fotheringham scores the fight 30:28
Judge Chris Edwards scores the fight 29:28
Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Eric Cartman!
Our winner, Eric Cartman, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.