PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Chael Sonnen (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Wooden Pencil (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The crowd seem to be enjoying Pencil's choice of entrance music: Full Retard. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Sonnen
vs
Pencil

185 cm
26
192 lbs
3 - 1 - 0

185 cm
20
193 lbs
5 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Basic striking
Very quick

Decent wrestler
Decent boxing
Very confident

Steel Penn's Laundry 93%

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Chael Sonnen!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Wooden Pencil!
The judges for this bout are Ryoma Takatsuka, Jeff Smith and Paul Gruel.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Sonnen misses with a takedown attempt - Pencil sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
Sonnen takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Sonnen tries for a takedown but Pencil sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Sonnen fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Chael Sonnen. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Sonnen blocks a head kick by Pencil.
No luck for Sonnen with that takedown attempt.
Pencil feints and then cracks Sonnen's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Sonnen down.
A telegraphed takedown attempt from Sonnen is defended easily by Pencil.
Sonnen shoots in but no luck this time.
Sonnen walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Pencil swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Sonnen fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Pencil lands a nice looking body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Sonnen doesn't succeed with the takedown
letting Pencil counter with a right hand.

It looks like Chael Sonnen has been cut.
Sonnen is breathing heavily.
Both fighters circling a little - Pencil finishes the exchange with a kick to the body.
Pencil misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Pencil lands a head kick. Sonnen smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
Sonnen throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Pencil's waist but Pencil gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Sonnen off to one side.
Sonnen takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Sonnen doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Pencil fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Sonnen has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Wooden Pencil is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Pencil lands with a kick to the temple. Sonnen shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
Sonnen dives in and grabs Pencil's left leg, looking for a takedown. Pencil pushes down on Sonnen's head and hops out.
Pencil cracks Sonnen with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
This is turning into a torrid day at the office for Sonnen. He's trying desperately to land a takedown but he's failing miserably and getting slapped silly on the feet to compound his misery.

Pencil cracks Sonnen with a big right hand that sends him to the floor! Sonnen looks wobbly but he's sprung back up to his feet straight away… can Pencil finish him?

Sonnen is rocked!

Chael Sonnen's cut is getting worse.
Pencil throws an uppercut from hell that sends Sonnen clean off his feet! He's out cold! Pencil stands back and admires his work as he thinks about that KO of the night award that is surely being wrapped up for him back stage.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:56 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Wooden Pencil! Wooden Pencil retains his super heavyweight title!
Wooden Pencil decided to hype himself up post fight. It was going well but he went on about it a bit too long and the crowd turned on him a little.