PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Karl Swanson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Swanson comes to the ring accompanied by all nightmare long by metallica. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the ring.

Swanson
vs
PoopyPants

185 cm
29
222 lbs
15 - 7 - 0

197 cm
24
226 lbs
8 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

BJJ Purple Belt
Great elbows
Good gas tank

Cyclone Nutrition Company

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Karl Swanson!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, BitchFace PoopyPants!
The judges for this bout are Albert Achterberg, Paul Aken and Nard Betker.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Swanson takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
PoopyPants swings for the body but Swanson moves out of range.
PoopyPants takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
PoopyPants just misses with a punch to the body.
PoopyPants throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Swanson shoots in for a takedown but PoopyPants shows good takedown defense.
PoopyPants scores with a nice head shot.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.

PoopyPants darts in and clinches Swanson up against the ropes.
PoopyPants prevents the takedown attempt.
Swanson gets double underhooks to prevent a takedown attempt from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants misses with an elbow over the top.
PoopyPants is working for a takedown up against the ropes. He can't get it on this occasion though.
PoopyPants tries to land knees in the clinch but Swanson avoids the damage to the body.
PoopyPants tries to score a body lock takedown but Swanson shows good agility there to stay on his feet.
Karl Swanson has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of BitchFace PoopyPants.
Swanson has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. PoopyPants is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
Swanson has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. PoopyPants is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Swanson blocking some punches.
Swanson blocks the elbow strike.
Swanson tries for a takedown. No joy.
PoopyPants swings wildly with an uppercut but Swanson uses good head movement to avoid it.
Swanson wants to take the fight to the mat but PoopyPants manages to get underhooks and keep the fight in the clinch.
Swanson is pressed up against the ropes. PoopyPants has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Swanson down to the mat. Swanson avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
Swanson has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Swanson there as he acknowledges the shot.
PoopyPants scores with a body shot.
PoopyPants throws a jab when Swanson was well out of range.

PoopyPants drives through and clinches with Swanson against the ropes.

Swanson has PoopyPants pressed up against the ropes. He's trying to work for a single leg takedown. Swanson pulls back from the ropes and twists to the side, sending PoopyPants tumbling to the mat - Swanson dives into PoopyPants's guard.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Swanson passes easily into side control. Nice work.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants is trying to improve his position.
Swanson scoring with punches and elbows.

Swanson is trying to get an arm triangle but PoopyPants is defending well.
PoopyPants tries to improve position but can't.
Swanson tries to land with some ground and pound but misses.
Swanson cracks PoopyPants with a big right hand but PoopyPants just smiles back at him and invites him to have another go.
PoopyPants is looking for a sweep.
Swanson grinds an elbow into PoopyPants's temple.
PoopyPants is looking to reverse the position.

Swanson working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
PoopyPants tries to improve position but can't.
Swanson has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Swanson is working PoopyPants over with some ground and pound from side control.

Swanson tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Swanson has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!
PoopyPants is looking for a sweep.
Swanson wants to lay and pray for a moment but PoopyPants keeps working.
You can see the frustration on PoopyPants's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.
Swanson lands a nice forearm strike.
PoopyPants is trying to improve his position.
Swanson working the head with strikes.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Swanson lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.
PoopyPants trying to control here.
PoopyPants on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
PoopyPants wants to improve his position but Swanson is controlling well.
Swanson missing with the ground and pound from half guard.
Swanson is keen to just control but PoopyPants is a slippery customer.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Swanson drops an elbow to the side of PoopyPants's head.
PoopyPants is staying active underneath Swanson, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
PoopyPants is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Karl Swanson will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Swanson throws a right and a left that PoopyPants avoids nicely.
Swanson looks for a takedown but PoopyPants sprawls well.
Nice jab there from Swanson.
PoopyPants misses with a looping right.
Swanson avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
PoopyPants defending well as Swanson loads up on a big left hand.
Swanson throws a hook but PoopyPants avoids it easily.
Nice body punch from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants cracks Swanson with a right hand to the side of the head.
PoopyPants has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
PoopyPants lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Swanson uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from PoopyPants.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
PoopyPants takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
PoopyPants misses with a straight left.
PoopyPants is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
PoopyPants catches Swanson with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Swanson keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants on the wrong end of a nice jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Swanson misses with a looping right.
PoopyPants uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Swanson.
PoopyPants ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Swanson misses with a straight left.
The fight stays on the outside here - PoopyPants looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Swanson throws an overhand right that lands on PoopyPants's shoulder, as PoopyPants tries to avoid the shot.
Swanson ducks down and throws a hook to the body but PoopyPants moves away.
Swanson walks into a left hand.
PoopyPants paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
PoopyPants misses with a hook.
PoopyPants dodges the punch combination from Swanson.
The fight stays on the outside here - PoopyPants looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Swanson misses with the combination.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Today's fight clock is brought to you by... OOOH that's a huge shot by PoopyPants! Swanson is in big trouble here - the ref steps in to save him and this one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:07 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). BitchFace PoopyPants!
An out of breath BitchFace PoopyPants thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.