PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Yster Best (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Vladimir Zhirinovsky (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Zhirinovsky is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Zhirinovsky and Serega - Murka. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Vladimir Zhirinovsky was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Best
vs
Zhirinovsky

190 cm
27
225 lbs
11 - 11 - 0

180 cm
29
218 lbs
19 - 12 - 0

BJJ Red Belt
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 11 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Yster Best!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 19 - 12 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Vladimir Zhirinovsky!
The judges for this bout are Aleksandr Martynov, Konstantin Menshow and Illya Tyunina.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Zhirinovsky changes levels and drives through with a really nice takedown into side control. Best looks really pissed at himself for not defending that better.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
The referee is asking the fighters to pick up the pace.
Zhirinovsky controlling the position.
Best is looking for a sweep.
Zhirinovsky tries to get to his feet but he's trapped momentarily.
Best tries to buck Zhirinovsky off but Zhirinovsky is having none of it.
Best sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
Best is trying to maintain the position but Zhirinovsky is very close to passing his half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Zhirinovsky tries to stand but his hand is stuck under Best.
Best keeping hold of Zhirinovsky's head, controlling as best he can.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Best wants to control but Zhirinovsky is keeping busy.
Well, if Zhirinovsky is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.

Yster Best has forced the referee to step in and bring the fight back to the feet.
Best ducks under a wild hook from Zhirinovsky.

Best dives in and scores a takedown into Zhirinovsky's guard.

Zhirinovsky has butterfly guard. He's looking to stand up here. He pushes Best off him and springs to his feet nicely. The crowd applauds.
Nice defenses there by Best.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky throws an overhand right that lands on Best's shoulder, as Best tries to avoid the shot.
Zhirinovsky throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Best bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Best avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Zhirinovsky misses with a straight right.
Zhirinovsky throws a hook but Best avoids it easily.
Zhirinovsky dodges the punch combination from Best.
Zhirinovsky throws a looping overhand right but Best ducks down to avoid it.
Best fails with the takedown.
Zhirinovsky stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and Zhirinovsky wants it to stay on the feet.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Nice takedown defense from Zhirinovsky. No joy for Best on that attempt.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Yster Best. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Best's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Zhirinovsky connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Best scrambles back to his feet.
Zhirinovsky swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Best.

It looks like Yster Best has been cut.
Vladimir Zhirinovsky seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Best keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Zhirinovsky.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky looks to land a right hand but Best moved out of range.
Best avoids the body shot from Zhirinovsky.
Best shoots in but Zhirinovsky avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Best looks to score with a jab to the body but Zhirinovsky is just out of range.

Best shoots in for a takedown from distance. He catches Zhirinovsky napping and manages to drive through into side control!
Best working away.

Best thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.
Zhirinovsky isn't going anywhere.
Best trying to control the action but Zhirinovsky is working from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Best tries for a kimura but Zhirinovsky is defending well.

Best goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Zhirinovsky rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Best's guard! Nice work there by Zhirinovsky!
Zhirinovsky is pushing down on Best's leg trying to pass to half guard. Best is fighting to maintain full guard but Zhirinovsky has managed to sneak the leg through.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Zhirinovsky stalling.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Best is trying to get back to full guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Vladimir Zhirinovsky dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Yster Best's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Best fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
A big right from Zhirinovsky misses.
Zhirinovsky is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Zhirinovsky throws out a loose jab but Best uses good head movement to avoid it.
Best shoots and misses
and Zhirinovsky counters with a nice uppercut.
Zhirinovsky stuffs the takedown.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Yster Best. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Some wild striking there from Best.
Best throws a sloppy head kick and Zhirinovsky moves out of range easily.
Best gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily
enabling Zhirinovsky to counter with a crisp jab.
Best gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Zhirinovsky scores with the left hand. Best knows he should have avoided that one.

Best is rocked!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!

Zhirinovsky shoots in and bounces Best off the cage to secure the takedown into guard.
Oh Best is still in real trouble! Will he be able to recover?!!
Best is trying to hold Zhirinovsky in close to prevent damage but Zhirinovsky has managed to pass into half guard.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Best manages to get to full guard.
Best seems to have got his legs back now.
Zhirinovsky slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.

Best throws his legs up looking for a submission but Zhirinovsky uses it to pass to side control.
Vladimir Zhirinovsky has got the better of the ground game so far.
Zhirinovsky working away diligently from side control. Landing strikes effectively there - that will score him some points on the judges scorecards.
Zhirinovsky lands some shots froms side control.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
You can see the frustration on Best's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.
Zhirinovsky controlling the position.

Zhirinovsky decides to stand back up.
Best throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Zhirinovsky's waist but Zhirinovsky gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Best off to one side.
Vladimir Zhirinovsky seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Best misses with a takedown attempt
and Zhirinovsky counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Best with a lazy takedown attempt
and Zhirinovsky cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Zhirinovsky lands a big uppercut and this one is all over! His foe lies motionless on the canvas - a massive one punch knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:48 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Vladimir Zhirinovsky!
A relieved looking Vladimir Zhirinovsky thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.