PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between JP Cool (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Chester Molester (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Chester Molester was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Cool
vs
Molester

170 cm
25
135 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

185 cm
25
135 lbs
2 - 2 - 0

BJJ Brown Belt
Counter fighter
Big heart

Decent wrestler
Solid Muay Thai
Prefers standup

Alpha-Male Nutritional Supplements (q160)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, JP Cool!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 2 - 0, fighting out of New York, Chester Molester!
The judges for this bout are Lou da Vinci, Jorge Garcia and Anthony Taglia.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cool takes a body punch but keeps moving.
A thudding body kick lands there by Molester!
Chester Molester seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Molester throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Cool takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Molester pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Cool uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Molester.
Molester throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.
Molester misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Molester throws a body punch but Cool moves out of range.
Molester lands with a cross.

Molester gets caught flat footed, as Cool shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.
This has been an exciting period of action!

Cool is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.
Molester keeping moving, preventing Cool from controlling successfully.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cool prevents Molester from getting back to his feet.
Molester preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.

Cool thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.

Cool is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.

Cool thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.
Molester is looking to stand up but Cool isn't so interested in that idea.
Molester really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Cool. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cool wants to control from the top but Molester keeps moving.
Cool won't allow Molester to get back to his feet.
Molester looking to sweep here. No luck so far.

Cool drops back looking for a leg! Molester is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Molester manages to kick Cool off! Cool jumps back into Molester's guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Cool slips nicely into half guard.

Cool looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Molester is trying to control but can't.

Cool is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Molester is just riding it out for now. Cool eventually gives up the hold.
Molester is trying to stand up here but Cool is controlling him well.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Cool is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.
Cool is nestled in close to Molester, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
Molester wants to control but Cool is keeping busy and won't allow it.

Cool looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Cool trying to mount his opponent but Molester defends it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

JP Cool dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Molester scores with a crisp jab that stopped Cool in his tracks.
Molester lands with a slapping head kick.
A chopping leg kick lands by Molester.
Molester fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Cool has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Nice uppercut lands for Molester. That snapped Cool's head back.
Molester throws a head kick that half lands.
A head kick misses from Molester.
Molester throws a quick head kick that skims the top of Cool's head.
Cool shoots in and drives through. Molester sprawls well.
Molester throws a hard body shot but it just misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Molester jabs away that one connects to the head of his opponent.
Molester scores with the left hand. Cool knows he should have avoided that one.

Cool is rocked!
Cool blocks a head kick by Molester.
Molester lands a head kick. Cool smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
Molester misses with the combination.
Molester misses with a double jab.
Molester pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Molester is breathing heavily.
Molester scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Molester moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Molester has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cool throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Molester's waist but Molester gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Cool off to one side.
Cool fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for JP Cool. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Molester connects with a jab.
Cool avoids the head kick by Molester.
Cool takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
Molester pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Molester throws a sloppy head kick and Cool moves out of range easily.
Molester with a body punch. A glancing blow.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Molester will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Nice sprawl there from Molester as Cool shoots in.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cool shoots for a takedown but Molester saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Molester lands with a slapping head kick.
Molester lands a head kick. Cool smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
Chester Molester seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Molester lands a lovely overhand right.
Molester uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Cool on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Molester. Molester obviously looking to wear him down.
Molester is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Molester lands with a head kick! That's gotta hurt.
Cool shoots in but no luck this time.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cool blocks a head kick by Molester.
Molester is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
Molester throws a head kick that misses.
JP Cool is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Nice sprawl there from Molester as Cool shoots in.
Chester Molester is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Molester plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Molester buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Molester throws a right and a left that Cool avoids nicely.
Molester throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Molester throws a head kick that misses.
Cool is trying hard to land a takedown here. Molester sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Chester Molester showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Cool on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Molester throws a head kick that misses.
Cool avoids the head kick by Molester.
Molester connects with a high kick.
Molester lets loose with a powerful body kick. Cool will feel that in the morning.
Cool walks into a left hand.
Molester lands with a kick to the temple. Cool shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
Cool displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Molester throws out the jab.
Cool fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Cool misses with a takedown attempt - Molester sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cool takes a head kick and keeps coming.
Cool is trying hard to land a takedown here. Molester sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for JP Cool. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Molester slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Molester throws a left and a right that both miss
and Cool connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Molester throws a head kick that Cool semi-blocks.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Molester.
Molester scores with a sloppy right hand. Cool should have avoided that one.
Molester lands with a kick to the temple. Cool shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Molester paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Cool has a takedown stuffed.
Molester scores with a jab. Cool acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Molester throws a head kick that half lands.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Molester, right into the meat.
Cool fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
Molester scores with a head kick.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Molester lands with a right hand.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Molester misses with the combination.
Molester throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Cool.
Cool blocks a head kick by Molester.
Molester leaves Cool with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Molester throws a right and a left that both miss.
A head kick misses from Molester.
Cool shoots in for a takedown but Molester shows good takedown defense.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Molester misses with a head kick.
Molester misses with a series of wild punches.
Molester tries a head kick but it misses.
Molester throws a head kick but Cool moves out of range.
Cool tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Molester swivels and escapes.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Cool takes a head kick and keeps coming.
Cool has a takedown stuffed.
Molester throws a head kick but Cool moves out of range.

And that's the end of the fight!
Chester Molester comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Molester has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Lou da Vinci scores the fight 28:29
Judge Jorge Garcia scores the fight 28:29
Judge Anthony Taglia scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Chester Molester!
A pretty intense looking Chester Molester took the opportunity post-fight to ask for a shot at the title.