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Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Lester Cockenschtuff (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Ralph McGuire (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think Cockenschtuff might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Wynona's Big Brown Beaver by Primus. The crowd seem to be enjoying McGuire's choice of entrance music: Daddy Never Was The Cadillac Kind . Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.



193 cm
28
269 lbs
19 - 8 - 1
204 cm
31
300 lbs
30 - 11 - 0
Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible
ADCC Champion
World class boxer
Good gas tank


Sex Panther Supplements
Sparta Fightware


KAISER Nutrition (160!)
Convicted Trap House


Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 19 - 8 - 1, fighting out of New York, Lester Cockenschtuff!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 30 - 11 - 0, fighting out of New York, Ralph McGuire!
The judges for this bout are Joseph Jones, John Kavanagh and John Roberts.




The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McGuire misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Cockenschtuff.
McGuire dives in and grabs Cockenschtuff's left leg, looking for a takedown. Cockenschtuff pushes down on McGuire's head and hops out.
McGuire checks the leg kick.
Cockenschtuff tries to bum rush McGuire with a series of wild strikes but McGuire uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Cockenschtuff drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.


It looks like Lester Cockenschtuff has been cut.

Cockenschtuff drives through and clinches with McGuire against the cage.
Cockenschtuff tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and McGuire avoids it.
Cockenschtuff blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Cockenschtuff throws a knee to the head but misses.
Cockenschtuff crunches a lovely knee into McGuire's ribcage.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
McGuire lands a shot to the body.
Cockenschtuff misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Cockenschtuff goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Cockenschtuff misses with a knee strike.
Cockenschtuff tries to work over McGuire's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
McGuire misses with a punch to the body.
Cockenschtuff scores a nice knee to the body.
Cockenschtuff is stalling here. The referee will be looking to step in if he doesn't pick up the pace.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McGuire lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
McGuire struggles to land a body shot inside as Cockenschtuff controls his hands.
Cockenschtuff misses with a knee to the head.
McGuire goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
A short right from Cockenschtuff on the inside.
Cockenschtuff with an attempt at a knee that misses.
A short uppercut from McGuire.
McGuire scores with a hook to the body.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
McGuire goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
McGuire scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Cockenschtuff tried to land a shot to the body but connects with McGuire's elbow.
McGuire blocks a body shot from Cockenschtuff.
Cockenschtuff landing knees to the head.


It looks like Ralph McGuire has been cut.
McGuire tries to throw a body punch but Cockenschtuff avoids it by throwing McGuire back against the cage.
McGuire tries a body shot but Cockenschtuff blocks it.
Cockenschtuff lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
McGuire avoiding damage as Cockenschtuff throws knees to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cockenschtuff lands with a light punch inside.
Cockenschtuff misses with a punch to the body.
Cockenschtuff throws a knee to the head but misses.

McGuire manages to break the clinch.
Cockenschtuff throws a front kick that sends McGuire stumbling back into the cage.
McGuire looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Cockenschtuff walks into a straight right hand from McGuire.
Cockenschtuff falls off balance throwing a combination

and McGuire counters with a single leg into guard. Cockenschtuff didn't expect that.
The referee wants the fighters to be more active or he's going to reset them on the feet.
McGuire throws a big elbow that misses.
Cockenschtuff trying to keep a closed guard but McGuire is proving a slippery customer.
McGuire trying to control the position from guard on top but Cockenschtuff is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McGuire stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Cockenschtuff swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Cockenschtuff keeping moving, preventing McGuire from controlling successfully.
McGuire tries to free his leg and advance position but Cockenschtuff is retaining full guard.
McGuire looking to sit in guard and control but Cockenschtuff gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.

McGuire is active off his back here, looking for submissions.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now McGuire is on top in guard.
McGuire working from the guard for now, landing some ground and pound.
McGuire trying to control the position from guard on top but Cockenschtuff is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
McGuire throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Cockenschtuff works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
McGuire throws a big right hand that misses.
McGuire is stalling in the full guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Ralph McGuire dominated that round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!


McGuire fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
McGuire connects with a good right hand that stumbles Cockenschtuff. Cockenschtuff circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Cockenschtuff misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from McGuire.
McGuire misses with a hook
and Cockenschtuff counters with a nice low kick that buckles McGuire's knee momentarily.
McGuire gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Cockenschtuff.

Cockenschtuff closes the distance and clinches.
Cockenschtuff missing with knees to the body.
McGuire throws a head punch that misses.
Cockenschtuff scores with a shot to the side of McGuire's head.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Cockenschtuff stalls.
McGuire misses with some punches.

That's one minute gone in the round.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Cockenschtuff.
McGuire avoids a wild elbow strike from Cockenschtuff.
McGuire is working for takedown but Cockenschtuff is calmly controlling the position for now.
McGuire working aggressively here.
Lester Cockenschtuff has scored more points in the clinch so far.
McGuire blocks a body shot from Cockenschtuff.
McGuire tries a body shot but Cockenschtuff blocks it.
Cockenschtuff tries a body shot but McGuire blocks it.
Cockenschtuff can't find room to land a body shot as McGuire controls the action.
McGuire tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
McGuire blocks an uppercut.
McGuire lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Cockenschtuff misses with a shot to the kidneys.
McGuire's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Cockenschtuff lands a knee to the body.
McGuire is breathing heavily.
McGuire misses with a short punch on the inside.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by McGuire as Cockenschtuff tries to tie him up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for McGuire.
Cockenschtuff tries to throw a body punch but McGuire avoids it by throwing Cockenschtuff back against the cage.
Cockenschtuff working aggressively here.
Cockenschtuff trying to control the position but instead, McGuire has worked for underhooks and has pushed Cockenschtuff into the cage.
Cockenschtuff tries a body shot but McGuire blocks it.
Cockenschtuff tried to land a shot to the body but connects with McGuire's elbow.
McGuire taking a breather.
A short left from Cockenschtuff.
Cockenschtuff prevents the takedown attempt.
Lester Cockenschtuff has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Ralph McGuire.
McGuire is working for a takedown up against the cage. He can't get it on this occasion though.
Knees to the body from Cockenschtuff.
Cockenschtuff lands a knee to the head.
Cockenschtuff crunches a lovely knee into McGuire's ribcage.
Cockenschtuff lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of McGuire backwards.
Cockenschtuff lands an uppercut.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cockenschtuff lands a shot to the body.
A short right from Cockenschtuff on the inside.
A hook to the body from Cockenschtuff.
Cockenschtuff tried to land a shot to the body but connects with McGuire's elbow.
Cockenschtuff misses with a punch on the inside.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Cockenschtuff creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Cockenschtuff misses with a shot to the kidneys.
McGuire on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Cockenschtuff lands a nice knee to the body.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Cockenschtuff takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
McGuire is trying to drag Cockenschtuff to the mat but Cockenschtuff just about manages to keep his footing. He used the cage to his advantage there.
A nice left hand lands by Cockenschtuff.
Knees in the clinch landing for Cockenschtuff.
Cockenschtuff lands a right hand.
A nice right hand lands inside from Cockenschtuff.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cockenschtuff lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Cockenschtuff lands a hook to the side of the head.


McGuire is rocked!
Cockenschtuff pressing his opponent against the cage.
McGuire is still on wobbly legs! Can Cockenschtuff finish him?
Cockenschtuff pushes McGuire back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Cockenschtuff lands a shoulder strike.
A left hand lands to the body for Cockenschtuff.
Cockenschtuff effectively controlling the action here.
Cockenschtuff lands with a light punch inside.
Cockenschtuff utilising his Muay Thai to score with a knee to the body.
Cockenschtuff lands a good knee to the midsection. McGuire won't want to take too many of those.
Cockenschtuff digs a right hand into McGuire's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on McGuire's gas tank.
Cockenschtuff unloads a knee to the mid-section.
Cockenschtuff lands a big right hand that drops McGuire! The killer instinct kicks in and Cockenschtuff finishes his opponent with a series of strikes from mount. A dominating finish by Cockenschtuff!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:47 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Lester Cockenschtuff!
Lester Cockenschtuff seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
63%
 
 
 
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