PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Anal Bead Party (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Franz Kafka (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Kafka comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Haters Gonna Hate kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Franz Kafka has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Bead Party
vs
Kafka

190 cm
32
276 lbs
13 - 5 - 0

200 cm
33
265 lbs
24 - 14 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Very quick

Good wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Heavy handed

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 13 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Anal Bead Party!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 24 - 14 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Franz Kafka!
The judges for this bout are Summer Carpenter, Donatello Bradman and Damien Edna.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kafka jabs away that one connects to the head of his opponent.

It looks like Anal Bead Party has been cut.
Kafka tries to land a front kick but Party steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Party uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Kafka.
Party keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Kafka misses with a jab to the body
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Kafka tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Party paws at him with a jab and circles away.
The fighters circling - Kafka throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Party ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Kafka is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Kafka misses with a right hand
and Party counters with a leg kick.
Party closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Kafka does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Franz Kafka seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A low kick from Kafka is predictable there
and Party makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Kafka pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Kafka throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Kafka takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Kafka shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Party ducks under a wild hook from Kafka.
Party blocks the body kick.
Kafka scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Party doesn't seem bothered though.
Kafka misses with a body kick.
Kafka tries to land a front kick but Party steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kafka lands a head kick. Party smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Party moves out of range of the body kick from Kafka.
Kafka cracks Party with a right hand to the side of the head.
Kafka misses with a body shot.
Party on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Kafka. Kafka obviously looking to wear him down.
Kafka misses with an uppercut.
Kafka thows a leg kick but Party checks it
and Party counters with a slapping leg kick.
Kafka throws a series of punches but Party moves out of range.
Kafka attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kafka looks to land a right hand but Party moved out of range.
Party takes a head kick and shrugs it off.

Anal Bead Party's cut is getting worse.
Kafka misses the shot to the body.
Kafka throws a leg kick but Party sees it coming and moves out of range.
Kafka throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Party drops his hands momentarily and Kafka takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Kafka misses with a wild body shot.
Kafka moves in looking to clinch but Party pushes him off.
Party avoids the body shot from Kafka.
Kafka throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kafka throws a jab but it's blocked by Party.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Party moves out of range of the leg kick from Kafka.
Kafka throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Kafka misses with a shot to the body
and Party counters with a thumping low kick.
Kafka pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Party uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Kafka.

Kafka clinches up with Party and pushes him back against the cage.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Kafka is trying to stall.
Kafka takes a knee right on the jaw!

It looks like Franz Kafka has been cut.
Party missing with knees to the body.
Party with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Franz Kafka dominated that round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Kafka walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Party checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Kafka swings for the body but Party moves out of range.
Kafka fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Party manages to avoid it.
Kafka swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Party drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
The fighters circling - Kafka throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Party crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from Kafka - the referee stops the clock and Party gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says Kafka. Party manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
Decent striking displayed by Kafka there.
Party ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Party takes one on the chin but keeps coming.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A slow jab from Kafka misses its intended target.
Party slips a straight right by Kafka.
Party takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Party checks the leg kick nicely there.
Party moves out of range as Kafka throws a body kick.
Kafka takes a swing at Party's ribcage but misses.
Kafka is looking to chop away at Party's legs.
Kafka throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Party sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Kafka lands with a thumping leg kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Party moves away from the strike by Kafka.
Kafka throws a poor cross that misses
and Party counters with a low kick, right behind Kafka 's knee.
A shot to the body from Kafka misses
and Party counters with a flying knee. Nice.
Nice cross by Kafka.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
The fighters circling - Kafka throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Kafka pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Kafka throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Party sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Kafka pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Party shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.

Anal Bead Party's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
Kafka pulls out of a head kick attempt.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kafka scores with a jab to the head.
Kafka lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Party circles away quickly and effectively.
The fighters circle momentarily. Kafka darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Kafka looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Kafka is looking to score with low kicks.
Kafka throws a combination. Party tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
Kafka misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Kafka lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Party moves out of range of the body kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Party blocks a jab.
Kafka connects with a jab.

Jeez, Anal Bead Party's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.
Kafka tries to score with a low kick but Party moves his leg out of the way.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kafka will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Kafka is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Party.
Kafka throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Kafka misses with a straight right.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Kafka fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Party manages to avoid it.
Kafka misses with a kick to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Franz Kafka showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Kafka fails with an attempt to clinch.
Party checks a leg kick.
Party blocks a leg kick.
Kafka fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Party has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by Kafka.
Kafka misses with a leg kick.
Kafka thows a left - swing and a miss!
Kafka connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Kafka looks to land a left hand but Party moved out of range nicely.
Party ducks under a wild hook from Kafka.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kafka misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Kafka misses with a hook.
Kafka tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Party was well out of range. Poor timing from Kafka.
Party avoids a kick to the body.
Kafka throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Kafka lands with a hook. Party tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Kafka tests Party's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Kafka throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kafka tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Party was well out of range. Poor timing from Kafka.
Kafka tries a head kick but it misses.
Kafka thows a left - swing and a miss!
Kafka has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Kafka tries to clinch there but Party circles away.
Kafka lands a high kick!
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Party blocks a jab.
Kafka throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Kafka fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Party ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Anal Bead Party has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kafka misses with a looping left.
Kafka scores with a hook to the body. Party takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Kafka scores with a jab to the body.
Kafka misses with a lunging right hand
and Party counters with a leg kick.
Party blocks a low kick nicely.
Kafka misses with a leg kick.
Kafka throws a push kick but Party slaps the foot to one side.
Kafka throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Party uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Kafka.
Franz Kafka is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kafka lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
A chopping leg kick lands by Kafka.
A good leg kick by Kafka.
Party takes a body kick right on the floating rib. Ouchie.
Franz Kafka seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Party ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
A swing and a miss from Kafka.
Kafka fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Party looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Party checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Party has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Party there as he acknowledges the shot.

And that's the end of the fight!
Franz Kafka comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Kafka winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.

Judge Summer Carpenter scores the fight for Franz Kafka!
Judge Donatello Bradman scores the fight for Franz Kafka!
Judge Damien Edna scores the fight for Franz Kafka!

Franz Kafka wins by unanimous decision!
Franz Kafka tried to hype himself up post fight but didn't word it too well and it ended up with him sounding like a bit of a tool.