PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Ichabod Klopfenstein (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Wu Tang Fu (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Wu Tang Fu was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Klopfenstein
vs
Tang Fu

169 cm
35
168 lbs
35 - 22 - 1

187 cm
30
205 lbs
13 - 3 - 0

Good wrestling
Great elbows
Granite chin

BJJ Purple Belt
Lethal high kicks
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 35 - 22 - 1, fighting out of Sydney, Ichabod Klopfenstein !
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Wu Tang Fu!
The judges for this bout are Donatello Bradman, Bruno Hogan and Hugh Johnson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A low kick from Fu misses
and Klopfenstein counters with a body kick.
Jeez, both these guys look absolutely knackered already, that's not a good sign!
A bone on bone clash there as Klopfenstein blocks the leg kick.
Fu tries a head kick but it misses.
Fu throws a lazy body kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice low kick that buckles Fu's knee momentarily.
Fu throws a head kick that Klopfenstein semi-blocks.
A head kick misses from Fu.
Fu throws a leg kick that is checked
and Klopfenstein makes the exchange count by landing a cracking kick to the body. Fu really felt that one!
A head kick misses from Fu.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with an outside leg kick.
Fu misses with a body kick.
A low kick from Fu misses
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Fu thows a leg kick but Klopfenstein checks it
and Klopfenstein counters with a head kick. That will keep Fu thinking before he tries any more sloppy attacks!

That's one minute gone in the round.
A low kick from Fu misses
and Klopfenstein counters with a body kick that brings a smile to the face of both fighters.
Fu pulls out of a head kick attempt.
A low kick from Fu is predictable there
and Klopfenstein counters with a kick to the head that grazes his opponent. Fu is lucky that one didn't land flush.
Fu misses with a leg kick
and Klopfenstein makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Klopfenstein moves out of range of the body kick from Fu.
An inside leg kick lands from Fu.
Klopfenstein moves out of range of the body kick from Fu.
Fu throws a leg kick that is checked
and Klopfenstein finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
Fu throws a leg kick
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Fu lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Klopfenstein has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Klopfenstein and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A lazy body kick from Fu
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice low kick that buckles Fu's knee momentarily.
Fu throws a leg kick that is checked
and Klopfenstein counters with a low kick, right behind Fu 's knee.
Fu misses with the body kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a big head kick but Fu shrugs it off.
A head kick by Fu misses
and Klopfenstein counters with a body kick that stops Fu in his tracks momentarily.
Fu fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Klopfenstein checks it well.
Klopfenstein defending well as Fu loads up on a big left hand.
Fu tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
A head kick misses from Fu.
Fu plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Fu throws a leg kick that is checked
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice low kick that buckles Fu's knee momentarily.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Fu misses with a leg kick
and Klopfenstein finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a head kick.
Fu buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Fu's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
A low kick from Fu is predictable there
and Klopfenstein counters with a slapping leg kick.
Fu misses with a head kick.
A low kick from Fu is predictable there
and Klopfenstein counters with a good, hard body kick but Fu shrugs it off.
A lazy body kick from Fu
and Klopfenstein counters with a solid body kick.
Fu throws a body kick that misses
and Klopfenstein counters with a solid body kick.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a body kick that stops Fu in his tracks momentarily.
A head kick by Fu misses
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Fu attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Fu buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fu throws a leg kick
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Fu throws a lazy head kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a big head kick but Fu shrugs it off.
Fu throws a leg kick but Klopfenstein sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Fu lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
A low kick from Fu misses
and Klopfenstein counters with a slapping leg kick.
Fu has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Klopfenstein .
Fu throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a solid body kick.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with an outside leg kick.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a leg kick.
Fu motions for Klopfenstein to come forward. Fu throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Wu Tang Fu dominated that round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Klopfenstein avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
A leg kick checked by Klopfenstein .
Fu throws a body kick despite being completely out of range
and Klopfenstein counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Fu misses with a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a good, hard body kick but Fu shrugs it off.
A low kick from Fu misses
and Klopfenstein counters with a big head kick but Fu shrugs it off.
Fu throws a leg kick that is checked
and Klopfenstein counters with a good, hard body kick but Fu shrugs it off.
Fu is looking to slow Klopfenstein down with leg kicks.
Fu tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Fu finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Fu throws a body punch but Klopfenstein moves out of range.
Fu thows a body kick. Klopfenstein tries to catch it but that hurt him.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fu walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Klopfenstein checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Klopfenstein moves out of range as Fu throws a body kick.
Fu tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Fu misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Fu thows a leg kick but Klopfenstein checks it
and Klopfenstein counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Fu throws an overhand right that lands on Klopfenstein 's shoulder, as Klopfenstein tries to avoid the shot.
Fu misses with a low kick as Klopfenstein jumps back.
That kick from Fu tenderised Klopfenstein 's leg. Klopfenstein is trying to keep his angry face on.
Fu looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice body kick.
A low kick from Fu misses
and Klopfenstein counters with a body kick that brings a smile to the face of both fighters.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A low kick from Fu misses
and Klopfenstein counters with a slapping leg kick.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Klopfenstein checks a leg kick nicely.
Ichabod Klopfenstein is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
A low kick from Fu is predictable there
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice body kick.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
Fu connects with a nice looking jab.
Fu misses with a head kick.
Fu throws a chopping leg kick but Klopfenstein manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Fu throws a hook but Klopfenstein blocks it.
Wu Tang Fu seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Fu throws a jab but it's blocked by Klopfenstein .

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fu throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Klopfenstein blocks a head kick by Fu.
Good work by Klopfenstein as he checks the leg kick.
Fu feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Klopfenstein 's calf.
Fu misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
A leg kick checked by Klopfenstein .
Fu throws a lazy body kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice body kick.
Fu misses with a low kick.
Fu throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Fu connects with a high kick.
Fu throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Fu.
Fu throws a leg kick that is checked
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice kick to the body.
Fu throws a head kick that misses.
Fu thows a leg kick but Klopfenstein checks it
and Klopfenstein counters with a flying knee. Nice.
A low kick from Fu misses
and Klopfenstein makes the exchange count by landing a cracking kick to the body. Fu really felt that one!
Fu turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Fu misses with a low kick.
Fu tries a head kick but it misses.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Fu misses with a kick to the body.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a body kick that stops Fu in his tracks momentarily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Wu Tang Fu showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's time! Klopfenstein 's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Fu throws a head kick but Klopfenstein moves out of range.
Fu thuds a mid kick into his opponent's body. That will wear on Klopfenstein if he has to take too many more of those.
Klopfenstein blocks a head kick by Fu.
A low kick from Fu is predictable there
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice body kick.
Klopfenstein moves out of range as Fu throws a body kick.
Fu misses with a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
A low kick from Fu is predictable there
and Klopfenstein counters with a solid body kick.
A low kick from Fu is predictable there
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice body kick.
Klopfenstein avoids the head kick by Fu.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Fu throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Fu misses with a head kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a head kick.
Some bone on bone action there as Klopfenstein checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein makes the exchange count by landing a cracking kick to the body. Fu really felt that one!
Fu misses with an attempted mid kick.
Klopfenstein blocks a head kick by Fu.
Fu throws a leg kick
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice low kick that buckles Fu's knee momentarily.
Fu throws a head kick that misses.
Fu throws a push kick but Klopfenstein slaps the foot to one side.
Fu moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Fu chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Fu scoring well with a low kick there.
Ichabod Klopfenstein has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fu scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
A low kick from Fu is predictable there
and Klopfenstein counters with a head kick. That will keep Fu thinking before he tries any more sloppy attacks!
Fu tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Fu does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Fu misses the jab.
Fu throws a head kick that misses.
Fu throws a front kick aimed at Klopfenstein 's knee but Klopfenstein avoids it well.
This entire fight has taken place on the feet so far and you wonder whether Klopfenstein might be better served trying to take this one to the ground because he's losing the standup battle so far.
A leg kick checked by Klopfenstein .
Klopfenstein moves out of range of the leg kick from Fu.
A nice leg kick lands there from Fu.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Fu lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Klopfenstein has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Klopfenstein and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Fu is looking to land body kicks.
Fu wants to land a leg kick but Klopfenstein is out of range.
Klopfenstein moves out of range of the leg kick from Fu.
Klopfenstein avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
A low kick from Fu is predictable there
and Klopfenstein counters with a nice leg kick.
Fu lands a leg kick that knocks Klopfenstein off balance momentarily.
A nice leg kick lands there from Fu.
Fu throws a sloppy head kick and Klopfenstein moves out of range easily.
Fu throws out a leg kick but Klopfenstein moves out of range and Fu only half commits.
Fu pulls out of a head kick attempt.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Klopfenstein checks a leg kick nicely.
Fu goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
A clash of legs there as Klopfenstein blocks the low kick.
Fu throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Fu throws a push kick but Klopfenstein slaps the foot to one side.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Klopfenstein checks a leg kick.
Klopfenstein checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Fu lands with a kick to the ribs.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Fu lands a high kick!
Wu Tang Fu is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Klopfenstein takes a push kick to the midsection and stumbles backwards.

And that's the end of the fight!
Wu Tang Fu comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Fu has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Donatello Bradman scores the fight 27:30
Judge Bruno Hogan scores the fight 27:30
Judge Hugh Johnson scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Wu Tang Fu!
After winning the bout, Wu Tang Fu thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.