PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Shaquille Oneal (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Joe The One Armed Man (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The One Armed Man is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Stand Up To be C**ted. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Oneal
vs
The One Armed Man

213 cm
24
277 lbs
10 - 7 - 0

185 cm
27
240 lbs
17 - 6 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 10 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Shaquille Oneal!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 17 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Joe The One Armed Man!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, and Jack Bonds.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The One Armed Man jabbing away but nothing is landing.
The One Armed Man swings for the body but Oneal moves out of range.
The One Armed Man moves to clinch but Oneal breaks away
and Oneal counters with an inside leg kick.
Oneal shoots in looking for a takedown. The One Armed Man tries to sprawl out of it but Oneal keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. The One Armed Man manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
The One Armed Man avoids a kick to the body.
The One Armed Man takes a swing at Oneal's ribcage but misses.
The One Armed Man lands a nice hook to Oneal's body. Oneal takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Oneal misses with a looping left.
Oneal jabbing away but nothing is landing.
The One Armed Man scores with a leg kick.
Oneal throws a chopping leg kick but The One Armed Man manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Oneal moves out of range of the strikes.
The One Armed Man throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from The One Armed Man, right into the meat.
The One Armed Man tests Oneal's chin there with a solid looking shot.
The One Armed Man misses with an uppercut.
Oneal displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as The One Armed Man throws out the jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The One Armed Man thows a body shot but no joy.
Oneal throws a nice looking combination but The One Armed Man bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
The One Armed Man takes a swing at Oneal's ribcage but misses.
Oneal's hands are dropping dangerously low here and The One Armed Man connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Oneal scrambles back to his feet.
The One Armed Man looks to score with a jab to the body but Oneal is just out of range.
The One Armed Man misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Oneal.
Oneal ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Oneal scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
A bone on bone clash there as Oneal blocks the leg kick.
The One Armed Man fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Oneal.
Oneal fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Oneal checks a leg kick.
The One Armed Man slips under a jab from Oneal.
Oneal ducks down and throws a hook to the body but The One Armed Man moves away.
The One Armed Man throws a jab when Oneal was well out of range.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Oneal checks a leg kick.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Oneal throws a front kick aimed at The One Armed Man's knee but The One Armed Man avoids it well.
Oneal throws a leg kick but The One Armed Man sees it coming and moves out of range.
The One Armed Man scores with a jab.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Oneal looks for the body kick but The One Armed Man saw that one coming.
The One Armed Man throws a shot from downtown. Oneal moves away and avoids it.
Oneal just misses with a punch to the body.
Oneal defending well as The One Armed Man loads up on a big left hand.
The One Armed Man fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Oneal has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Oneal takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Oneal scores with a head kick. The One Armed Man tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.

It looks like Joe The One Armed Man has been cut.
The One Armed Man fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Oneal has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
A telegraphed right hand from Oneal misses the target.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Oneal lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and The One Armed Man has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from The One Armed Man and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.

Oneal shoots in for a takedown and gets it.
The referee claps his hands together and tells the fighters to work.
Oneal with the ground and pound but The One Armed Man uses the opportunity to regain guard.
Oneal throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as The One Armed Man works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Oneal looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
The One Armed Man is trying to keep Oneal in close.
Oneal will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Oneal looking to sit in guard and control but The One Armed Man gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Oneal holds on and takes a little breather.

Oneal looking for a guillotine here but The One Armed Man defends easily.
Oneal is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man cracks Oneal with a solid left hand.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
The One Armed Man working some strikes from top position.
The One Armed Man has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Oneal wants to hit a switch here but The One Armed Man passes into full mount! Oh no, disaster for Oneal there!
Oneal tries to hold on but The One Armed Man pushes him away.
Oneal tries to get back to half guard but can't.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Oneal regains half guard.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Oneal keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Shaquille Oneal will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Joe The One Armed Man's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Nice shot lands for The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Oneal moves out of range of the leg kick from The One Armed Man.
Oneal swinging wildly here.
The One Armed Man misses with a low kick.
The One Armed Man wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
The One Armed Man dodges the punch combination from Oneal.
The One Armed Man moves in looking to clinch but Oneal pushes him off.
Oneal lands a jab, followed by a cross and another cross, as The One Armed Man backs up against the cage.
Oneal jabbing away but nothing is landing.
The One Armed Man throws a solid leg kick but Oneal takes the impact on his shin and smiles at The One Armed Man.
Oneal throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Oneal swings and misses with a hook to the body.
The One Armed Man fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Oneal has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.

The One Armed Man moves into the clinch.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Oneal working hard to break the clinch.
The One Armed Man lands a knee to the head.

It looks like Shaquille Oneal has been cut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The One Armed Man lands an uppercut.
The One Armed Man has a couple of punches blocked by Oneal.
The One Armed Man scores with a shot to the side of Oneal's head.
The One Armed Man looking to throw knees to the head but Oneal is blocking nicely.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, The One Armed Man just misses with a elbow thrown towards Oneal's brow.
Oneal wants to break the clinch but can't.
Oneal jumps guard but The One Armed Man stands there with Oneal around his waist. Oneal gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
The One Armed Man misses with a knee strike.
A frustrated look appears on Oneal's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Oneal blocks an uppercut.
The One Armed Man is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Oneal is defending well for now.

Oneal breaks from the clinch.
The One Armed Man getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Oneal misses with an uppercut.
Oneal fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but The One Armed Man is out of range.
Oneal swings away with a leg kick that misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man moves away from the strike by Oneal.
Oneal looks to score with a jab to the body but The One Armed Man is just out of range.
The One Armed Man moves out of range as Oneal throws a body kick.
Oneal just misses with a punch to the body.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Oneal scores with a nice strike.
The One Armed Man scores with a nice strike.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
The One Armed Man throws out a loose jab but Oneal uses good head movement to avoid it.
The One Armed Man scores with a decent looking hook.

The One Armed Man instigates a clinch.

Oneal pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
That kick from Oneal tenderised The One Armed Man's leg. The One Armed Man is trying to keep his angry face on.
Oneal throws a hook but The One Armed Man avoids it easily.
Oneal has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from The One Armed Man finds it's way round the side to connect with Oneal's head.
The One Armed Man is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Oneal looks to throw the jab but The One Armed Man is out of range.
The One Armed Man throws a leg kick but Oneal checks it.
Oneal has his takedown stuffed
and The One Armed Man counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man throws a nice inside leg kick.
The One Armed Man throws a hook but Oneal blocks it.
Oneal tries to work over The One Armed Man's front leg with a kick but The One Armed Man checks it.
The One Armed Man scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
The One Armed Man throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Oneal's corner calls for a 1-2. Oneal obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
The One Armed Man lands a nice shot to the body.
Oneal finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Oneal gets off balance looking for a body kick
and The One Armed Man counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Oneal is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
The One Armed Man steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Oneal.
The One Armed Man cracks a nice hook into Oneal's ribs.
Oneal misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Shaquille Oneal. That's going to take a lot out of him.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Oneal takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
The One Armed Man lands a really nice looking cross but Oneal seems unphased.
The One Armed Man tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Oneal is able to avoid easily.
The One Armed Man scores with a shot to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts The One Armed Man, as that shot connected.
The One Armed Man throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
The One Armed Man rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Oneal moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
The One Armed Man lands a nice leg kick that just misses Oneal's sensitive parts.
The One Armed Man steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Oneal.
The One Armed Man slips under a jab.
The One Armed Man misses with a straight left.
The One Armed Man misses with a wild body shot.
Good work by The One Armed Man as he checks the leg kick.
Oneal walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Oneal shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has The One Armed Man pinned against the cage. The One Armed Man gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Joe The One Armed Man is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Oneal throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
The One Armed Man moves away from the strike by Oneal.
The One Armed Man connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Oneal gets cracked there but stands up to it.
The One Armed Man slips a straight right by Oneal.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Joe The One Armed Man showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. And we move into the final round!

The One Armed Man moves forwards but Oneal connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Oneal looks to throw the jab but The One Armed Man is out of range.
The One Armed Man keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Oneal.
The One Armed Man pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
The One Armed Man dips to his left and cracks Oneal with an uppercut!
The One Armed Man connects with a body shot that sends Oneal's belly button to the back.
The One Armed Man throws a big shot that misses.
The One Armed Man dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Oneal. That did some damage!
A slow jab from The One Armed Man misses its intended target.
Nice shot lands for Oneal.
The One Armed Man swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Both fighters circling a little - Oneal finishes the exchange with a kick to the body.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Oneal looks to land a left hand but The One Armed Man moved out of range nicely.
The One Armed Man has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by Oneal.
The One Armed Man thumps Oneal with a low kick.
Oneal connects with the punch.
Oneal looks to land a right hand but The One Armed Man moved out of range.
Oneal lands a right hook to the body.
The One Armed Man takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Oneal misses with the combination.
The One Armed Man throws a jab when Oneal was well out of range.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
The One Armed Man takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Oneal connects with a good right hand that stumbles The One Armed Man. The One Armed Man circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
The One Armed Man throws a head kick but Oneal moves out of range.
The One Armed Man fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Oneal manages to avoid it.
Oneal scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
The One Armed Man blocks a jab.
The One Armed Man lands with an uppercut that bounces Oneal off the cage and back into range.
A leg kick checked by Oneal.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from The One Armed Man lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Oneal has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Oneal and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
The One Armed Man lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Good shot there by Oneal.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
The One Armed Man connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Oneal's hands.
Oneal staying out of range there.
Oneal tries to score with a low kick but The One Armed Man moves his leg out of the way.
The One Armed Man feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Oneal's calf.
Oneal misses the jab.
Shaquille Oneal is winning the standup battle so far.
The One Armed Man misses with a series of wild punches.
The One Armed Man misses the shot to the body.
A nice inside leg kick there by Oneal. That's going to slow The One Armed Man down.
That kick from The One Armed Man tenderised Oneal's leg. Oneal is trying to keep his angry face on.
Jab, jab by The One Armed Man - just one landing.
The One Armed Man closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Oneal tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and The One Armed Man is able to avoid easily.
Oneal gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
The One Armed Man looks to land a left hand but Oneal moved out of range nicely.
The One Armed Man jabs away that one connects to the head of his opponent.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man takes one to the chin there.
The One Armed Man checks a low kick from Oneal.
Oneal sizes up The One Armed Man with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Oneal takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.

The One Armed Man drives through and clinches with Oneal against the cage.
Oneal wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Oneal can't find room to land a body shot as The One Armed Man controls the action.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Oneal.
The One Armed Man looks to throw an elbow but misses.
The One Armed Man tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
The One Armed Man misses with a knee to the head.
Oneal misses with a punch to the body.

Oneal manages to break the clinch.
The One Armed Man throws an overhand right that lands on Oneal's shoulder, as Oneal tries to avoid the shot.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Oneal throws a half hearted mid kick.
Oneal looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Oneal's hands are dropping dangerously low here and The One Armed Man connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Oneal scrambles back to his feet.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man scores with a jab to the jaw.
The One Armed Man ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
The One Armed Man thumps Oneal with a low kick.
Oneal misses with a looping left.
Oneal takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
The One Armed Man moves out of range as Oneal throws a body kick.
The One Armed Man stuffs the takedown.
The One Armed Man ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Oneal lands a lovely overhand right.
The One Armed Man misses with a straight left.
Jab, jab by The One Armed Man - just one landing.

The One Armed Man gets a clinch.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
The One Armed Man tries to work over Oneal's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
The One Armed Man throws a head punch that misses.
Oneal has a couple of punches blocked by The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man tries to land a knee to the head but Oneal blocks with his arms.

And that's the end of the fight!
Shaquille Oneal showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Oneal has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Frank Antenori scores the fight for Shaquille Oneal!
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight for Shaquille Oneal!
Judge Jack Bonds scores the fight for Shaquille Oneal!

Shaquille Oneal wins by unanimous decision!
Our winner, Shaquille Oneal, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.