PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Lars Voller (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). PoopyPants comes to the cage accompanied by Deathly Quiet. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Lars Voller was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

PoopyPants
vs
Voller

197 cm
26
222 lbs
13 - 5 - 0

191 cm
24
218 lbs
12 - 6 - 0

Good wrestling
Great elbows
Insanely flexible

BJJ Purple Belt
World class MT
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 13 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, BitchFace PoopyPants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 6 - 0, fighting out of London, Lars Voller!
The judges for this bout are Ben Zyskovitsi, Anni Minnemäki and Johanna Lukiainen.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
PoopyPants shoots in looking for a takedown but Voller manages to keep the fight standing, pushing PoopyPants's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
PoopyPants misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Voller counters with a good low kick that PoopyPants was not able to check.
PoopyPants misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
A lazy left from PoopyPants finds it's target.
PoopyPants fails to land the takedown.
Voller with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
PoopyPants connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
PoopyPants looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for BitchFace PoopyPants. That's going to take a lot out of him.
PoopyPants jabbing away but nothing is landing.
PoopyPants has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Voller misses with a body kick.
PoopyPants is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Voller.
An inside leg kick lands from Voller.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Voller lands with a head kick! That's gotta hurt.
PoopyPants swings for the body but Voller moves out of range.
Voller has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Voller throws a shot to the body.
Horrible takedown by PoopyPants or perhaps it was just good defense by Voller which made him look bad.

That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants shoots for a takedown but Voller saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
PoopyPants is trying hard to land a takedown here. Voller sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
PoopyPants is breathing heavily.
PoopyPants misses with a looping right.
PoopyPants moves out of range of the body kick from Voller.
Voller throws a head kick but PoopyPants moves out of range.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Voller.
PoopyPants looks to score with a jab to the body but Voller is just out of range.
Voller uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants lands the left hand.
PoopyPants looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Voller avoids the body shot from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants looks to score with a jab to the body but Voller is just out of range.
Voller throws a wild body kick that PoopyPants sees coming a mile off.
Voller uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by PoopyPants.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Voller throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
PoopyPants misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
PoopyPants tries to score a power double leg takedown but Voller sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten PoopyPants somewhat.
PoopyPants misses with a wild body shot.
Voller uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by PoopyPants.
Nice body kick there by Voller.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Voller pivots, looking for a leg kick but PoopyPants is out of range and Voller settles back down.
An inside leg kick lands from Voller.
PoopyPants thows a left - swing and a miss!
PoopyPants walks forward, straight into a front kick from Voller.
Voller throws a head kick but PoopyPants moves out of range.
PoopyPants misses with a wild body shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants cracks a nice hook into Voller's ribs.
Voller tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
PoopyPants tries to drive through with a takedown attempt but Voller defends well and PoopyPants ends up having to push Voller into the cage where they will battle it out in the clinch.
Voller lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Voller pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.

PoopyPants pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Voller dips to his left and cracks PoopyPants with an uppercut!
Voller looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.

PoopyPants scores with a takedown into Voller's guard.
Voller managing to control the position.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Voller working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from PoopyPants.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants trying to control the position from guard on top but Voller is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
PoopyPants throws a big elbow that misses.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
PoopyPants wants to control from the top but Voller keeps moving.
Voller keeping full guard, as PoopyPants tries to pass.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Voller is on top in guard.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
PoopyPants wants to sweep but no luck.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Lars Voller dominated that round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

PoopyPants shoots in looking for a takedown but Voller manages to keep the fight standing, pushing PoopyPants's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
PoopyPants moves out of range as Voller throws a body kick.
PoopyPants scores with a punch to the head.
Voller thows a body kick. PoopyPants tries to catch it but that hurt him.
Good exchange - PoopyPants coming out on top.
PoopyPants shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Voller but Voller pushes him off and we're back to square one.
PoopyPants dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
PoopyPants shoots in but no luck this time.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for BitchFace PoopyPants. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Voller cracks the inside of PoopyPants's front leg.
Lars Voller seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Voller lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
BitchFace PoopyPants seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
PoopyPants pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Voller lands a leg kick that knocks PoopyPants off balance momentarily.
Voller plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Crunch! Voller slams his shin into PoopyPants's torso.
Voller lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
Voller is looking to slow PoopyPants down with leg kicks.
Voller throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent PoopyPants stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Voller lands with a nice body kick.
Voller punishes PoopyPants's body with a nice straight punch.
Voller throws a head kick that looked like it stung.
Lars Voller is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Voller keeps PoopyPants at a distance using the push kick.
Voller throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Voller scores with a jab. PoopyPants acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Voller connects with an inside leg kick.
PoopyPants takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
A solid leg kick lands there for Voller.
PoopyPants has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Voller.
Voller feints and then cracks PoopyPants's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow PoopyPants down.
PoopyPants walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Voller stuffs the takedown attempt from PoopyPants. PoopyPants gets slowly back to his feet.
PoopyPants is looking to wear down Voller with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Voller thuds a left hand into PoopyPants's body.
Voller lands a nice shot to the body.
Voller has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
A head kick misses from Voller.
Voller connects with a solid leg kick.
Voller lands a right hook to the body.
Voller pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Nice uppercut lands for Voller. That snapped PoopyPants's head back.
Voller misses with a head kick.
Voller scores with a nice right hand.
Voller buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
PoopyPants misses the shot to the body.
PoopyPants takes a body punch but keeps moving.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Voller avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Voller connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
PoopyPants throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Voller's waist but Voller gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing PoopyPants off to one side.
Horrible takedown by PoopyPants or perhaps it was just good defense by Voller which made him look bad.
PoopyPants takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Voller scores with a kick to the body.
Voller fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and PoopyPants has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Voller cracks PoopyPants with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Voller throws a head kick that PoopyPants semi-blocks.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Voller feints and then cracks PoopyPants's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow PoopyPants down.
Voller dodges the punch combination from PoopyPants.
Crack! A monster head kick from Voller and PoopyPants falls like a tree - timbeeeeeeeeeeerrrr! A highlight reel knockout by Voller!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:58 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Lars Voller!
Lars Voller decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.