PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Debby Snack Cakes (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Deb The Machine (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Deb The Machine was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Snack Cakes
vs
The Machine

172 cm
27
155 lbs
8 - 6 - 0

167 cm
22
145 lbs
6 - 5 - 0

Decent wrestler
Solid boxing
Granite chin

BJJ Brown Belt
Counter fighter
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Debby Snack Cakes!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 5 - 0, fighting out of New York, Deb The Machine!
The judges for this bout are Anthony Taglia, David Schapiro and John Roberts.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The Machine shoots for a takedown but Snack Cakes saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Snack Cakes connects with a right hand. The Machine shakes it off.
The Machine doesn't manage to clinch there - Snack Cakes circles away.

Snack Cakes scores a trip takedown into side control. Nice.
The Machine tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Snack Cakes tries to stand but The Machine is controlling his head.
The Machine tries to work a leg under to get back to half guard but Snack Cakes wriggles his own leg back out and remains in side control.
The Machine manages to get back to half guard.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
The Machine works his way to full guard. Good work.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

The Machine is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Snack Cakes is aware though and is defending well.

The Machine working for a triangle but Snack Cakes defends it easily.

The Machine throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.

That's one minute gone in the round.

The Machine uses the cage to get back to his feet.

Snack Cakes drives through with a really nice takedown into side control.
The Machine manages to land a sweep and he's now on top! Lovely Jiu Jitsu!

The Machine looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.

The Machine is looking for a kimura but Snack Cakes is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for The Machine to get the leverage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

The Machine is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Snack Cakes is just riding it out for now. The Machine eventually gives up the hold.

Snack Cakes is defending against the submission attempts here by The Machine.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

The Machine seems to be looking for submissions.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
The Machine tries to pass the half guard into mount. Snack Cakes knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Snack Cakes looks like he's trying to stand up.

The Machine wants to work for an arm triangle but Snack Cakes is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!

The Machine is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Snack Cakes sees it coming and defends easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Deb The Machine dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Snack Cakes scores with a nice head shot.
Snack Cakes lands a jab, followed by a cross and another cross, as The Machine backs up against the cage.
The Machine tries to clinch but Snack Cakes moves away
and Snack Cakes counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Snack Cakes avoids a low kick by using good footwork.

Snack Cakes looking to score a takedown here. The Machine is defending well but Snack Cakes drives through and ends up in The Machine's guard.
Deb The Machine has got the better of the ground game so far.

The Machine looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!

The Machine looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
The Machine wants to sweep but no luck.

The Machine working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Snack Cakes doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Snack Cakes manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.

Snack Cakes is trying to tuck his arms in to keep them safe but The Machine has managed to isolate one of them and has got a loose triangle. Snack Cakes is looking to defend but The Machine has done well to lock his legs together - this could be big trouble for Snack Cakes! The Machine pulls down on the head and a little smile comes across his face - he knows he's got it. Yep, Snack Cakes taps out and this one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:57 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle). Deb The Machine!
Deb The Machine decided to hype himself up post fight. It was going well but he went on about it a bit too long and the crowd turned on him a little.