|
|
PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Hans Thor (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). McWasteoffuckingtime has chosen Miracle - We Ain't Scared as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. The atmosphere really building for this one as we go over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!
 |
|
 |
| 192 cm
28
219 lbs
9 - 4 - 0 |
|
185 cm
27
195 lbs
12 - 6 - 0 |
Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible |
|
Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank |
|
| |
|
Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
9 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Hans Thor!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
12 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime!
The judges for this bout are Viktor Lagutenko, Fedor Mirinova and Dmitry Maklakov.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A head kick by McWasteoffuckingtime misses
and Thor counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Thor tries to close the distance and clinch up but McWasteoffuckingtime swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Thor throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a jab but it's blocked by Thor.
Thor lands a straight punch to the body, keeping McWasteoffuckingtime at a distance.
Thor swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by McWasteoffuckingtime.
Thor misses with a head kick.
A lazy left from Thor finds it's target.
Thor misses the jab.
Hans Thor seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Thor uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Thor jabs McWasteoffuckingtime to the body, keeping him at a distance.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a shot to the body
enabling Thor to counter with a crisp jab.
McWasteoffuckingtime connects with a jab.
It looks like Hans Thor has been cut.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
McWasteoffuckingtime moves forwards but Thor connects with a nice, crisp jab.
A good leg kick by McWasteoffuckingtime.
McWasteoffuckingtime has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A head kick misses from McWasteoffuckingtime.
McWasteoffuckingtime fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Thor.
A chopping leg kick lands by McWasteoffuckingtime.
Thor dips to his left and cracks McWasteoffuckingtime with an uppercut!
Thor is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Thor throws a lazy right hand but McWasteoffuckingtime sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a sloppy head kick and Thor moves out of range easily.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a leg kick.
Thor wants to slow McWasteoffuckingtime down by chopping away at his legs.
Thor lands a jab to the nose.
Thor avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Thor moves out of range of the body kick.
McWasteoffuckingtime buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a low kick, looking for Thor's leg but Thor calmly moves out of range.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws an ugly left hook that misses
letting Thor counter with a right hand.
Thor is looking to slow McWasteoffuckingtime down with leg kicks.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a body kick that misses.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from McWasteoffuckingtime.
A head kick misses from McWasteoffuckingtime.
Thor throws a head kick that misses
and McWasteoffuckingtime counters with a nice uppercut.
Thor scores with a leg kick.
Thor misses with a straight left.
Thor closes the distance and clinches.
Thor misses with a punch to the body.
Thor is pushing McWasteoffuckingtime up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Thor creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWasteoffuckingtime fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a punch on the inside.
Stalling in the clinch from Thor.
McWasteoffuckingtime has a couple of punches blocked by Thor.
McWasteoffuckingtime can't find room to land a body shot as Thor controls the action.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
Thor blocks an elbow strike from McWasteoffuckingtime.
A head punch blocked on the inside by McWasteoffuckingtime.
Thor blocking some punches.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a punch but it's blocked by Thor.
McWasteoffuckingtime blocking some punches.
Thor swings away with an uppercut that misses.
McWasteoffuckingtime creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Thor's defenses.
Thor has a couple of punches blocked by McWasteoffuckingtime.
Come on McWasteoffuckingtime - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
McWasteoffuckingtime escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thor connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses the shot to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Thor.
Thor moves in looking to clinch but McWasteoffuckingtime pushes him off.
Thor throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Thor pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a low kick.
Thor throws a nice inside leg kick.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Thor connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between McWasteoffuckingtime's hands.
It looks like Thor has been trying to sharpen up his punching technique, as it looks crisper than last time we saw him.
McWasteoffuckingtime steps to his left, right into the path of a big body kick from Thor. That one must have hurt.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Thor throws a jab when McWasteoffuckingtime was well out of range.
Thor blocks a low kick nicely.
Thor looks for the body kick but McWasteoffuckingtime saw that one coming.
McWasteoffuckingtime thuds his shin into the meat of Thor's side.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
That was a close round but I would say that Hans Thor will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Hans Thor's cut.
That's time! Back to the action!
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a leg kick but Thor sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Thor checks the leg kick.
McWasteoffuckingtime gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Hans Thor is winning the standup battle so far.
Thor feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to McWasteoffuckingtime's calf.
Good shot there by Thor.
McWasteoffuckingtime scores with a spinning back kick!
A leg kick checked by Thor.
Thor misses with a looping left.
Thor throws a quick head kick that skims the top of McWasteoffuckingtime's head.
McWasteoffuckingtime is rocked!
Thor cracks McWasteoffuckingtime with a left hook right on the temple and McWasteoffuckingtime goes down! He's out! Referee! Stop the fight! Thor lands a few more punches before the dopey ref steps in - hopefully McWasteoffuckingtime is OK!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:51 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Hans Thor!
A victorious Hans Thor thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
|
S |
C |
G |
|
energy
A | B |
|
hype
A | B |
|
pop
A | B |
|
mgr
A | B |
|
FIGHT
RATING
100% |
|
|
|
|
|
|
