PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Hong Kong Phooey (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dumbass McWeakhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think Phooey might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Hong Kong Phooey. Dumbass McWeakhands has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Hong Kong Phooey's chin.

Kong Phooey
vs
McWeakhands

175 cm
30
160 lbs
20 - 13 - 1

168 cm
39
158 lbs
36 - 16 - 1

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 20 - 13 - 1, fighting out of London, Hong Kong Phooey!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 36 - 16 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumbass McWeakhands!
The judges for this bout are Phil Schofield, James Ackerman and Donald Grub.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McWeakhands throws a head kick but Phooey moves out of range.
Phooey looks to land a combination but McWeakhands avoids it well.
McWeakhands ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Phooey tries a head kick but it misses.
McWeakhands throws the left hand but Phooey avoids the punch easily.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick
and Phooey counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps McWeakhands thinking.
Good leg kick by Phooey there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Phooey avoids the body shot from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
McWeakhands throws a quick inside leg kick.
Phooey misses with a double jab
and Phooey takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
McWeakhands lands a nice shot that snaps Phooey's head back.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
McWeakhands works over Phooey's head and body with a nice combination.
A chopping leg kick lands by McWeakhands.
A shot to the liver by McWeakhands. Beautiful body shot.
McWeakhands misses with an uppercut
and Phooey counters with a good low kick that McWeakhands was not able to check.
McWeakhands slips a jab from Phooey.
Phooey throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Phooey tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
McWeakhands connects with a body shot.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
McWeakhands misses with a body shot.
Phooey uses good head movement to avoid the hook from McWeakhands.
The fighters circling - McWeakhands throws out the jab but it was never going to land.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Phooey blocks a jab.
McWeakhands looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
McWeakhands fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Phooey has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.

Phooey moves into range and clinches up with McWeakhands.
A short body shot lands from McWeakhands as the two fighters clinch.
McWeakhands throws a head punch that misses.
McWeakhands working aggressively here.
A left hand lands to the body for Phooey.
Phooey taking a breather.
McWeakhands lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
McWeakhands jumps guard but Phooey stands there with McWeakhands around his waist. McWeakhands gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
McWeakhands struggles to land a body shot inside as Phooey controls his hands.
McWeakhands tries a body shot but Phooey blocks it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands misses with some punches.
Phooey doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Phooey lands with a short punch from the clinch.

McWeakhands breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Phooey swinging wildly here.
Phooey's corner calls for a 1, 2 combination and Phooey duly obliges.
McWeakhands fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Phooey manages to avoid it.
Phooey defending well as McWeakhands loads up on a big left hand.
McWeakhands tries a head kick but it misses.
Phooey displaying good standup as he scores with a three punch combination.
McWeakhands throws a hook but Phooey blocks it.
McWeakhands looks to throw the jab but Phooey is out of range.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Phooey throws a right and a left that both miss.
Phooey misses the shot to the body.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Phooey thuds a left hand into McWeakhands's body.
McWeakhands takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Phooey looks to throw a body kick
enabling McWeakhands to counter with a crisp jab.
Phooey uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Phooey misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands misses with a lunging right hand
and Phooey makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Phooey tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Phooey gets off balance looking for a body kick
and McWeakhands makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Phooey scores with a head kick. McWeakhands tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumbass McWeakhands dominated that round.
That's time! Phooey's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

McWeakhands throws a leg kick

and Phooey counters by clinching up.
Phooey tries to work over McWeakhands's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Phooey lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of McWeakhands backwards.
McWeakhands misses with a punch on the inside.

McWeakhands breaks from the clinch.
Phooey turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Phooey staying out of range there.
McWeakhands bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
A solid leg kick lands there for Phooey.
Phooey swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Phooey fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Phooey misses the shot to the body.
McWeakhands scores with a body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Phooey lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Phooey looks to land a combination but McWeakhands avoids it well.
McWeakhands waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Phooey.
Phooey looks to score with a jab to the body but McWeakhands is just out of range.
McWeakhands tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Phooey was well out of range. Poor timing from McWeakhands.
Phooey blocks a head kick by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Phooey checks a leg kick.
Phooey throws a sloppy head kick
and Phooey takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
McWeakhands lands with a shot to the body.
Phooey looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
A big left from McWeakhands misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Phooey throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Phooey scores with a punch to the head.
Hong Kong Phooey is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Phooey throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Phooey crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from McWeakhands - the referee stops the clock and Phooey gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says McWeakhands. Phooey manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
McWeakhands attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
McWeakhands thuds his shin into the meat of Phooey's side.
McWeakhands takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
McWeakhands misses with an uppercut.
Phooey throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Phooey tries to move into range but McWeakhands moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
McWeakhands thows a body shot but no joy.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Phooey lands with an overhand left.
Phooey ducks down and throws a hook to the body but McWeakhands moves away.
Phooey will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
McWeakhands's corner calls for a 1-2. McWeakhands obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
McWeakhands has tried to improve his agility in the runup to this fight.
Phooey looks to score with a jab to the body but McWeakhands is just out of range.
McWeakhands scores with a leg kick.
McWeakhands chopping away at his opponent's legs.
McWeakhands lands a nice leg kick that just misses Phooey's sensitive parts.
Phooey misses with a wild body shot.
McWeakhands throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Phooey takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
McWeakhands checks a low kick from Phooey.
McWeakhands takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
McWeakhands checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Phooey dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on McWeakhands. That did some damage!
Phooey tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Phooey misses the shot to the body.
McWeakhands misses with a leg kick
and Phooey counters with an outside leg kick.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
McWeakhands lands with a nice body punch.
Phooey is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Phooey fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt McWeakhands.
McWeakhands missing with a left hand there. Phooey was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Dumbass McWeakhands will probably get the nod - 10:9.
That's time! Back to the action! This is the final round!

Jab from McWeakhands.
A low kick from Phooey misses
and McWeakhands counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Phooey, right into the meat.
McWeakhands misses with an attempted mid kick.
Phooey throws a body kick, spinning off balance

and McWeakhands holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.
McWeakhands is working Phooey over against the cage.
McWeakhands doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Phooey stalling.
McWeakhands's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Phooey prevents a body shot from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Phooey backwards.
McWeakhands doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Phooey blocks an uppercut.
Phooey tried to land a shot to the body but connects with McWeakhands's elbow.
McWeakhands tries to pull guard but Phooey holds him up against the cage and eventually McWeakhands drops back down to his feet.
Good body shot from McWeakhands.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A nice left hand lands by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
McWeakhands lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Phooey backwards.
McWeakhands misses with the head strike.

Phooey breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
A lazy left from McWeakhands finds it's target.
Phooey misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
McWeakhands just misses with a punch to the body.
Phooey on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Phooey has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from McWeakhands finds it's way round the side to connect with Phooey's head.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
McWeakhands lands with a right that hurts Phooey. Phooey looks to clinch but McWeakhands throws a short knee that drops Phooey. This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:51 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punch and Knee). Dumbass McWeakhands!
Dumbass McWeakhands seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.