PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Alexander Zalachenko (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Merrimac Mjolnir (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Zalachenko kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Fistfull of Credit Cards. Mjolnir has chosen Die for Metal as his entrance music. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Zalachenko
vs
Mjolnir

211 cm
31
270 lbs
14 - 10 - 0

195 cm
37
271 lbs
38 - 10 - 0

World class MT
Insanely flexible

Dangerous knees
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 10 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Alexander Zalachenko!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 38 - 10 - 0, fighting out of London, Merrimac Mjolnir!
The judges for this bout are Shirou Masuda, Yukihiro Shimada and Hirohito Nitta.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Mjolnir's corner calls for a 1-2. Mjolnir obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Mjolnir catches Zalachenko with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
A big right from Zalachenko misses.
This has been an exciting period of action!

Mjolnir takes the fight into the clinch.
Mjolnir tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Mjolnir tries to throw a body punch but Zalachenko avoids it by throwing Mjolnir back against the ropes.
Zalachenko using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Mjolnir has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Mjolnir is working Zalachenko over against the ropes.
Mjolnir on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Mjolnir lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Mjolnir lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Zalachenko misses with a knee strike.
Mjolnir digs a right hand underneath Zalachenko's ribcage. Zalachenko let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Zalachenko is breathing heavily.
Mjolnir scores with a hook to the body.
A nice left hand lands by Mjolnir.
Mjolnir digs a right hand into Zalachenko's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Zalachenko's gas tank.
Mjolnir working some nice short punches in the clinch.
A left hand lands to the body for Mjolnir.
Mjolnir lands an uppercut.
Still in the clinch, Mjolnir scores with a nice short uppercut.
The referee is keeping an eye on Mjolnir - much more stalling and he will separate the fighters.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Zalachenko's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Mjolnir scores with a shot to the side of Zalachenko's head.
Mjolnir lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Mjolnir lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Mjolnir lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Zalachenko backwards.
Zalachenko takes a shot to the head.

Mjolnir creates a bit of space for himself and unleashed what can only be described as a tiger uppercut, straight out of Street Fighter! Zalachenko crashes to the mat! Can he make it back to his feet in time? 3,4,5, yes, he's made it back to his feet. He seems OK so it looks like we're going to continue!

Zalachenko is rocked!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Mjolnir throws a shot to the body.
Mjolnir stuns Zalachenko with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Mjolnir looks to score with a jab to the body but Zalachenko is just out of range.
Mjolnir lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.

Mjolnir moves into the clinch.
Mjolnir tries to throw a body punch but Zalachenko avoids it by throwing Mjolnir back against the ropes.

Mjolnir breaks the clinch momentarily and cracks Zalachenko with a big right hook that drops him to the canvas! Zalachenko looks like he might be in big trouble here! The referee has started the count straight away and we're up to 5 already. Zalachenko get to one knee - can he make it back to his feet? Yes, he's struggled back up to his feet and seems OK to continue. The referee agrees so we're back to the action!
Mjolnir misses the shot to the body.
Mjolnir takes a swing at Zalachenko's ribcage but misses.
Zalachenko tries to clinch up but Mjolnir circles away and keeps his distance.
Zalachenko moves out of range of the strikes.
Mjolnir is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Zalachenko rather than just go for the knockout.
Mjolnir moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Mjolnir gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Mjolnir dodges an elbow strike from Zalachenko.
Zalachenko's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Mjolnir scores with a shot to the side of Zalachenko's head.
Mjolnir lands a left hand.
Mjolnir scores with a hook to the body.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Mjolnir.
Mjolnir throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Zalachenkos head.
Mjolnir lands with a left to the head.
Oh Zalachenko is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!

Mjolnir moves into the clinch successfully.
Mjolnir lands a left hand.
A short uppercut from Mjolnir.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A hook to the body from Mjolnir.
A short right from Mjolnir on the inside.
Mjolnir digs a right hand underneath Zalachenko's ribcage. Zalachenko let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Mjolnir digs a right hand underneath Zalachenko's ribcage. Zalachenko let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Mjolnir gets through Zalachenko's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Merrimac Mjolnir will get the nod in that round, having scored multiple knockdowns.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Mjolnir scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Zalachenko doesn't seem bothered though.
Mjolnir throws a series of punches but Zalachenko moves out of range.
Zalachenko lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Zalachenko throws a head kick but Mjolnir moves out of range.
Mjolnir connects with a picture perfect right hand that knocks Zalachenko out cold! This one is over in a flash!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:19 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Merrimac Mjolnir!
A relieved looking Merrimac Mjolnir thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
Alexander Zalachenko spoke after the fight, saying 'I wish I hadn't spent the night with a Thai prostitute ... not making excuses here but that girl was willing to do some crazy stuff and I had to try everything she offered ... '.