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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Yahweh Falwell (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Satan Lopez (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Falwell comes to the cage accompanied by Don't Stop Believing. Lopez is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by Evisceration Plague. The key to victory for Yahweh Falwell has got to be keeping the fight on the feet.
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| 171 cm
25
150 lbs
0 - 1 - 0 |
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171 cm
25
150 lbs
1 - 0 - 0 |
BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Very quick |
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Good takedowns
Counter fighter
Tends to cut |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Yahweh Falwell!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Satan Lopez!
The judges for this bout are Josh West, Colin Fray and Chris Saunders.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Falwell tries to close the distance and clinch up but Lopez swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Falwell tries to bum rush Lopez with a series of wild strikes but Lopez uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Falwell tries to clinch there but Lopez circles away.
Falwell fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Falwell tries to bum rush Lopez with a series of wild strikes but Lopez uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Falwell scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!
Falwell tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Lopez manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Falwell throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.
Falwell throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Sloppy strikes from Falwell. Those never looked like landing.
Falwell misses with a few strikes there.
Falwell looks to land a combination but Lopez avoids it well.
No joy there for Falwell, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
A right-left combo lands from Falwell.
Falwell tries to clinch up but Lopez circles away and keeps his distance.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Lopez slips a jab and a cross from Falwell.
Yahweh Falwell seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Falwell fails to land with a series of punches.
Falwell misses with the combination.
Falwell throws a right and a left that Lopez avoids nicely.
Falwell is breathing heavily.
Falwell misses with a double jab
and Lopez counters with a driving takedown into guard. Nice work there by Lopez.
Lopez pushing down on Falwell's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Falwell wants to control but Lopez is keeping busy.
My spies in Weed Nation inform me that Lopez has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Lopez is working for a submission here. He's got hold of the far side arm and he's looking for a kimura. He's cranking on the arm and he's got it! Falwell is tapping out! Ouch, that looked like it hurt!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:57 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Satan Lopez!
Satan Lopez took to the mic in his post fight interview and said 'Hail Satan, Lord Darkness and Conqueror of all that is holy and clean. I don't care about no damn title shot, just give me every Christian (Brazilian-preferred) opponent. I will poke his or her eyes out with my hot poker and baptize them in my evil juice. Thank you fans, I love you all!'.
The defeated Yahweh Falwell had this to say: 'Hasa diga eebowai. I guess I didn't pray hard enough, or maybe prayed too much. I bet if I rolled more instead of praying, I might have learned to defend submissions. I guess it's God's will. But to quote George Carlin: "If it's God's will and he's going to do what he wants to anyway, why'.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
38% |
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