PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eat Meat (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Yourea Penis (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Eat Meat has the edge in experience - let's see if he can make that count tonight.

Meat
vs
Penis

180 cm
25
300 lbs
2 - 4 - 0

190 cm
25
284 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
KO power

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Intelligent

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 4 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Eat Meat!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Yourea Penis!
The judges for this bout are David Hoff, Dirk Anderson and Sandra Marshall.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Meat gets tackled into the cage by Penis. Penis maintains the clinch.
Meat lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.

Penis has picked Meat up - he's going for a ride! Penis dumps his opponent to the mat with a thud and settles into half guard.
We could do with one of the fighters taking the initiative a bit more on the ground - they're both waiting to capitalize on a mistake.
The referee looks like he's ready to step in and stand the fighters back up.
Penis trying to control the pace.
Meat pushes Penis off looking to stand but Penis dives back in and keeps control.
Penis slows the pace down in half guard.
Penis frees up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Meat wants to use the cage to get back to his feet here.
Penis has his opponent pinned against the cage, landing some nasty ground and pound that is really making a bit of a mess out of Meat's face.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Penis controlling from the full mount.
Meat is trying to escape but when you're mounted that's not too easy.
Meat definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Penis controlling his opponent.

Penis is in full mount, looking to secure a guillotine but Meat is surviving well by controlling Penis's body position as best he can.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Meat is trying to stand but he's not in a good position to be doing that! Penis has taken his back!
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Penis lands a punch that was close to the back of the head but the ref thinks it's OK.
Penis controls the position.

Penis is cranking Meat's head sideways - that looks painful. He's managed to get his other arm under the chin and this looks bad for Meat! He's tightened the choke and Meat is tapping out!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:53 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Yourea Penis!
A determined Yourea Penis didn't want to dwell on this fight in his post fight interview. Instead he was more keen to state he wants a title shot. Let's see if he gets it!