PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Casey Ryback (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartman kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is All Within My Hands. Casey Ryback has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Eric Cartman's chin.

Cartman
vs
Ryback

199 cm
30
283 lbs
17 - 9 - 0

195 cm
31
280 lbs
17 - 11 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Granite chin

Milwaukee's Best 160
Just Fight (Everything 7$)

Just Fight (Everything 7$)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 9 - 0, fighting out of London, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 17 - 11 - 0, fighting out of London, Casey Ryback!
The judges for this bout are Steven Brown, Colin Fotheringham and William Gold.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Ryback lands with an overhand left.
Cartman closes the distance looking to clinch

and Ryback counters with a shoot takedown. Cartman fights it but they end up in guard.
Cartman not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Cartman wants to sweep but no luck.
Cartman working a defensive guard but Ryback passes into half guard.
Cartman is looking to improve his position.
Cartman is staying active underneath Ryback, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Ryback lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Cartman is looking for a sweep. Ryback is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Ryback is thwarting Cartman's attempts to control the position.
Ryback working over Cartman with some ground and pound. Cartman looks like he wants out of this position, which is understandable.
Cartman is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Cartman manages to get to full guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Ryback trying to control the position from guard on top but Cartman is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Ryback won't allow Cartman to sweep him here.
Ryback chips away with some ground and pound.
Cartman wants to sweep here but Ryback controlling him for the moment.
Ryback pushing down on Cartman's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Cartman wants to get back to full guard.
Ryback is looking to take a break and control but Cartman is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Ryback has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Ryback uses his free foot to push down on Cartman's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Cartman.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Ryback fakes a shot to the body and cracks his opponent in the head. Nice ground and pound there!
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Cartman tries to hold on but Ryback postures up.
Cartman is working to get back to half guard.
Cartman tries to hold on but Ryback postures up.
Cartman is desperately trying to improve his position but Ryback has a good base and remains in mount.
Cartman throwing hammer fists to the chest of Ryback. What's that going to do exactly?
Cartman regains half guard.
Cartman regains full guard. Nicely done.
Ryback trying to control but Cartman is working from the bottom.
Ryback controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Ryback tries to free his leg and advance position but Cartman is retaining full guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Ryback is still trying to improve position.
Ryback preventing the sweep.
Cartman lands a beautiful switch and he's in full mount! That could spell trouble for Ryback!
Ryback swinging wildly from the bottom but he's not landing.
Cartman is in the full mount, landing strikes.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Ryback in a bad spot here, taking shots to the head.
Ryback really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
A nice elbow there by Cartman.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ryback is in all sorts of trouble here.
Cartman lands a big shot there that rocks Ryback but he's holding on and managing to survive for now.
Ryback is trying to escape the mount.
Cartman landing punches.
Cartman unloading with bombs!
Ryback tries to hold on but Cartman pushes him away.
Cartman putting on the heat here with some good ground and pound!
Ryback tries to hold on but Cartman postures up.
Cartman is in the full mount, landing strikes.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Ryback tries to hold on but Cartman postures up.
Ryback is wriggling around trying to escape.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman dominated that round.
That's time! Cartman's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Cartman instigates a clinch.
Ryback prevents a body shot from Cartman.

Cartman pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.

Cartman has Ryback up against the cage in a clinch.
A nice right hand lands inside from Cartman.
Cartman blocks a body shot from Ryback.
Cartman tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Ryback's elbow.
Cartman lands with a left to the head.

Cartman breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Cartman is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Cartman tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Ryback manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Ryback dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Cartman tries to clinch but fails miserably

and Ryback counters with a shoot takedown. Cartman fights it but they end up in guard.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Cartman is on top in guard.
Cartman scoring with some ground and pound.
Cartman is working Ryback over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman throwing strikes but missing.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Cartman throws a strike but Ryback rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.
Cartman is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Ryback trying to control the position from guard on top but Cartman is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Cartman is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Cartman is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
Cartman thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Ryback's head.
Ryback is trying to get back to full guard.
Cartman working the head and body with strikes.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Ryback taking some punishment here, with Cartman in his half guard.
Cartman scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
Cartman looks to land a strike but Ryback avoids it nicely and regains full guard.
We've been hearing that Cartman has been drilling a lot of ground and pound in training, so let's see if he get the finish.
Ryback has momentary wrist control but Cartman slips an elbow through the middle.
Cartman working some strikes from top position.
Cartman pushing down on Ryback's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Cartman with the ground and pound but Ryback uses the opportunity to regain guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman throws a big elbow that misses.
Cartman scoring with punches to the head and body.
Cartman throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Ryback works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Cartman throws a big elbow that misses.
Eric Cartman overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Cartman throws an elbow that misses. Ryback uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Cartman's guard. Nice move by Ryback!
Ryback won't allow Cartman to sweep him here.
Cartman is working hard here to advance position.
Ryback throws a big elbow that misses.
Cartman wants to sweep but no luck.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Ryback is standing up over Cartman. Cartman looks to escape but Ryback dives into side control.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cartman tries to buck Ryback off but Ryback is having none of it.
Cartman manages to get one leg in to regain half guard.

Ryback is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.
Ryback throwing shots but Cartman is blocking nicely.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Cartman is not content to let Ryback control the position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman dominated that second round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Ryback looks to land a left hand but Cartman moved out of range nicely.
Cartman blocks a leg kick.

Ryback looks for a takedown. He's got it. We're now in half guard.
Cartman wants to control but Ryback is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Ryback trying to mount his opponent but Cartman defends it.
Cartman makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Cartman.
Ryback preventing the sweep.
Cartman working a defensive guard here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman keeping moving, preventing Ryback from controlling successfully.
Ryback forces his way into half guard.
Cartman manages to get to full guard.
Cartman looking to hit a scissor sweep but Ryback is one step ahead there.
Ryback stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Cartman swivels though and keeps the full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Ryback won't allow Cartman to sweep him here.
Ryback wants to pass the guard but Cartman is keeping the position.
Cartman wants to sweep here but Ryback controlling him for the moment.
Cartman bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Ryback's guard.
Cartman throws a strike but Ryback rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.
Ryback trying to control but Cartman is working from the bottom.
Cartman is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Cartman is on top in guard.
Ryback working a defensive guard here.
Cartman throws an elbow that misses. Ryback uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Cartman's guard. Nice move by Ryback!
Cartman lands a beautiful switch and he's in full mount! That could spell trouble for Ryback!
Cartman scoring with some good ground and pound from mount here. Will he manage to finish Ryback?
Cartman lands a couple of good shots and Ryback has given up his back, trying to escape the position!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cartman softening up his opponent with strikes here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ryback covering up well under a series of strikes from Cartman.
Cartman lands with a big left hand that may well have hurt his opponent. Can Ryback hold on?!
Cartman lands a punch to the side of the head from the back.
Watch the back of the head! Comes the shout from the referee towards Cartman.
Ryback is trapped and Cartman is scoring with shots to the head and body.
Ryback is in bad spot here.
Cartman throwing strikes from the back - he gets a warning from the referee for striking the back of the head but all these shots are hurting Ryback!
Cartman is punishing Ryback with some ground and pound.
Ryback takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Cartman punches Ryback on the ear.
Cartman looking to soften up his opponent with punches.
Can Ryback hold on?! Cartman is landing more strikes to his hapless foe.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman clearly takes that round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Cartman drives through and clinches with Ryback against the cage.
Cartman is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Ryback can do to turn this around?
Cartman comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Cartman.

It looks like Casey Ryback has been cut.
Cartman tries to land a knee to the head but Ryback blocks with his arms.

Cartman breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Cartman moves out of range of the strikes.
Ryback throws a chopping leg kick but Cartman manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Ryback throws the left hand but Cartman avoids the punch easily.

Ryback gets taken down but at least he's managed to land in guard.
Ryback working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Cartman.
Cartman chips away with some ground and pound.

Ryback is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Cartman is aware though and is defending well.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Cartman working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Cartman postures up and scores with a shot to the body and a follow up elbow to the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Cartman's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Cartman wants to stand but Ryback has a closed guard, so he can't escape.
Ryback is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Cartman loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Cartman postures up in Ryback's guard and throws a big left but Ryback blocks it.
Cartman throws a strike but Ryback rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.
Ryback postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Ryback stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Cartman swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Cartman looking for a sweep. Not yet Cartman, not yet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Ryback's guard.
Cartman with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.
Ryback has momentary wrist control but Cartman slips an elbow through the middle.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cartman lands a couple of digs.
Cartman connects with a couple of short punches.
Ryback trying to keep a closed guard but Cartman is proving a slippery customer.
Cartman trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Cartman landing with the ground and pound.
Cartman working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Cartman throwing strikes from guard but Ryback blocks nicely.
Ryback trying to keep a closed guard but Cartman is proving a slippery customer.
Cartman is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
Cartman is in close to Ryback's body, working some short punches and elbows.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Cartman's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Cartman cracks Ryback with a solid left hand.
Cartman throws an elbow that misses. Ryback uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Cartman's guard. Nice move by Ryback!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Ryback wants to pass the guard but Cartman is keeping the position.
Cartman trying to control the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ryback won't allow Cartman to sweep him here.
Ryback trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Ryback wants to control from the top but Cartman keeps moving.
The referee looks like he's ready to step in and stand the fighters back up.

Casey Ryback has forced the referee to step in and restart the fight on the feet.
Cartman moves out of range of the body kick.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!

Cartman fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Ryback, pushing him back against the cage.
Stalling in the clinch from Cartman.
Cartman blocks a body shot from Ryback.

Cartman pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman had his way with Casey Ryback in that round.
The cut man is working on Casey Ryback's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. And we move into the final round!

Ryback circles away from the clinch attempt.
Cartman wants to clinch up but Ryback keeps it at a distance.
Ryback scores with a jab to the head.
Cartman keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Ryback swats away the attempt to clinch by Cartman.
Cartman moves to clinch but Ryback breaks away

and Ryback counters with a nice double leg into guard.
Cartman is wriggling around but Ryback manages to pass to half guard.
Cartman slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Ryback is stalling in the full guard.
Ryback wants to control from the top but Cartman keeps moving.
Cartman wants to sweep but no luck.

That's one minute gone in the round.
We may be looking at a referee standup if the pace doesn't pick up soon.
Cartman keeping moving, preventing Ryback from controlling successfully.
Ryback seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
Cartman wants to sweep but no luck.
Casey Ryback has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.

The ref calls for a clean break and stands the fighters back up. Casey Ryback wasn't active enough on the ground.

Cartman rushes Ryback and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.

Ryback jumps guard.
Cartman working some strikes from top position.
Cartman postures up and lands a big shot to Ryback's brow.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Cartman trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Cartman throws a big right hand that misses.
Ryback working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Cartman.
Cartman is looking to work some ground and pound but Ryback has wrist control.
Cartman with a flurry of punches that miss.

Ryback is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Cartman is aware though and is defending well.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Cartman accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Ryback keeping full guard, as Cartman tries to pass.
Cartman landing with the ground and pound.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.

Ryback is looking for a triangle but Cartman pushes his legs off easily.
Cartman working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Cartman throwing strikes from guard but Ryback blocks nicely.
Ryback bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Cartman's guard.
Ryback trying to control the position from guard on top but Cartman is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Ryback preventing the sweep.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman manages to land a sweep and now he's in mount on top!
Cartman in mount throwing good strikes here, bouncing his opponent's head off the canvas.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Cartman landing punches.
Cartman lands a nice shot to the head.
Ryback is wobbling all over the place through exhaustion. Will he make it to the final bell?
Cartman in mount throwing good strikes here, bouncing his opponent's head off the canvas.
Eric Cartman is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
A big strike lands for Cartman! That's really hurt Ryback and he's turned his back - Cartman keeps firing away and the ref dives in to stop the fight! Cartman jumps to his feet to celebrate the victory!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:56 of round 5, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Eric Cartman!
Eric Cartman retains his heavyweight title!
A very excited looking Eric Cartman made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.