PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Jupiters Cock (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Willy Fistur (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Fistur has chosen FATE as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. Well, I have no idea who's going to take this one!

Cock
vs
Fistur

225 cm
27
275 lbs
12 - 1 - 0

201 cm
27
285 lbs
7 - 4 - 0

Good wrestling
Solid boxing
Granite chin

BJJ Blue Belt
Lethal high kicks
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Jupiters Cock!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 7 - 4 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Willy Fistur!
The judges for this bout are Winston Alpacca, Michael Johnstone and Sandra Marshall.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Fistur avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Fistur lands with a nice body kick.
Cock lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.

Cock has closed the distance and engaged Fistur in a clinch.
Cock lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Fistur or not.
Fistur is trying to stall.
Fistur misses with a short punch on the inside.
Fistur working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Fistur is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Fistur is leaning against Cock and scores with a nice uppercut to the body.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Fistur blocks a body shot from Cock.
A right hand to the body from Cock.
Cock misses with a punch to the body.
Cock digs a right hand underneath Fistur's ribcage. Fistur let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Fistur tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Cock avoids it.
Fistur misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Cock.
Cock lands with a right to the head.
Cock misses with some punches.
Cock misses with a shot to the kidneys.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Cock has a couple of punches blocked by Fistur.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Cock as Fistur tries to tie him up.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Cock.
Cock lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Fistur backwards.
Fistur is trying to break free.
Cock swings wildly with an uppercut but Fistur uses good head movement to avoid it.
Our sources have told us that Cock has been working on his elbows in the gym.

Fistur breaks from the clinch.

Cock fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Fistur, pushing him back against the cage.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Cock as Fistur tries to tie him up.
Fistur misses with a short punch on the inside.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Cock.
Cock lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Cock lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Fistur backwards.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Cock misses with a body punch.
Fistur swings away with an uppercut that misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cock letting Fistur take a breather here.
Cock lands with a short head shot on the inside.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Fistur.
Fistur is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Cock doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Cock tries a body shot but Fistur blocks it.
Cock avoiding damage as Fistur throws knees to the body.
Cock blocks a body shot from Fistur.
A nice left hand lands by Cock.
Cock misses with a hook from the clinch.
A right hook to the body lands for Fistur.
Fistur misses with a hook to the ribs.
Cock swings wildly with an uppercut but Fistur uses good head movement to avoid it.
Cock tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Cock really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Fistur tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Cock.
Fistur softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cock lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Fistur or not.
A right handed body shot lands from Cock.
Fistur trying to land knees to the body.
Cock blocks a body shot from Fistur.
Cock avoiding damage.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Cock.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Fistur.
Fistur throws a head punch that misses.
Still in the clinch, Cock scores with a nice short uppercut.
Fistur tries to break the clinch but Cock is controlling the position.

Fistur breaks the clinch.
Fistur connects with a jab.

It looks like Jupiters Cock has been cut.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cock avoids the head kick by Fistur.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Fistur paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Fistur just misses with a punch to the body.
Fistur blocks a low kick nicely.
Cock throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Fistur has done a lot of speed work in the buildup to this fight.
Cock throws a hook but Fistur blocks it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cock avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Fistur lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Cock tries a head kick but it misses.
Cock avoids the head kick by Fistur.
Fistur throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Fistur jabs away that one connects to the head of his opponent.
Cock avoids the head kick by Fistur.
Cock misses with a series of wild punches.
Cock tries to close the distance and clinch but Fistur swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.

Fistur tries to keep at a distance but Cock has taken the fight into the clinch.
Fistur lands a right hand.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Fistur is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Cock is keeping busy.
Cock tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Cock tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Fistur's elbow.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Jupiters Cock will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Jupiters Cock's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Cock slips a jab from Fistur.
Cock fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Fistur looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Willy Fistur seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Fistur misses with an uppercut.
Fistur lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Fistur tries a head kick but it misses.
Fistur throws a head kick that misses.
Fistur scores with a shot to the body.
A combination from Fistur does no damage.
Cock throws a nice looking combination but Fistur bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Fistur throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Fistur pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Cock tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Cock lands a head shot.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A head kick misses from Fistur.
Fistur swings for the body but Cock moves out of range.
Fistur throws a shot from downtown. Cock moves away and avoids it.
Cock lands with a hook. Fistur tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Fistur uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Cock.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Cock clinches up with Fistur and pushes him back against the cage.
Fistur is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
Cock blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Cock slowing the pace effectively.
Cock fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Fistur misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Cock.
Fistur taking a breather.
Fistur struggles to land a body shot inside as Cock controls his hands.
Fistur blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Cock lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Fistur tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Cock blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Fistur trying to stall but Cock improves his position.
Fistur throws a head punch that misses.
Cock just leaning against Fistur, taking a breather.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cock misses with a body punch.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Fistur pushes Cock back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Cock lands a body punch in the clinch.
Cock tries to throw a body punch but Fistur avoids it by throwing Cock back against the cage.
Cock tries a body shot but Fistur blocks it.
Fistur misses with the head strike.
Cock pushes Fistur back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Fistur misses with the head strike.
Fistur misses with a hook to the ribs.
Cock just leaning against Fistur, taking a breather.
Cock pushes Fistur back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Fistur looking to stall.
Cock lands a nice shot to the body.
Fistur is breathing heavily.
Fistur is trying to force a seperation but Cock has the dominant position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fistur swings wildly with an uppercut but Cock uses good head movement to avoid it.
Cock lands with a light punch inside.
Cock lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Fistur backwards.
A right hook to the body lands for Cock.
Cock lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Cock pressing his opponent against the cage.
A head punch on the inside from Fistur fails to land.
Cock lands a shot to the body.
Cock doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Fistur has a couple of punches blocked by Cock.
Fistur working aggressively here.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Cock blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Fistur tries to throw a body punch but Cock avoids it by throwing Fistur back against the cage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cock lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Fistur backwards.
Cock has a couple of punches blocked by Fistur.
Cock lands a left hand that snaps the head of Fistur backwards.
Cock avoiding damage.
Fistur misses with a knee to the head.
Cock lands a body punch.
Cock tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Fistur's elbow.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Fistur misses with a knee strike.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Fistur tries a knee to the head but Cock blocks it.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Fistur fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Cock lands a left hand that snaps the head of Fistur backwards.
Cock managing to block the knees to the body from Fistur.
A body shot lands from Cock.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jupiters Cock dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Jupiters Cock's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. Let's get this one finished - here comes the final round!

Fistur throws a head kick but Cock moves out of range.
Fistur avoids a kick to the body.
Fistur on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Cock swinging wildly here.
Cock's corner calls for a 1-2. Cock obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Cock misses with a straight left.
Cock stuns Fistur with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Cock blocks a head kick by Fistur.
Cock connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Fistur tries a head kick but it misses.
Cock lands a jab to Fistur's midsection.
Cock thows a body kick. Fistur tries to catch it but that hurt him.
Cock moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Cock misses with a few strikes there.

Cock sends Fistur crashing to the mat with a devastating uppercut! Cock is motioning to the referee to let Fistur up. He wants to try and finish this one on the feet!

Fistur is rocked!
Cock connects with a picture perfect right hand that knocks Fistur out cold! This one is over in a flash!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:59 of round 3, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Jupiters Cock!
Jupiters Cock made sure to give a little speech post fight, saying 'KO by Cock Slap, enjoy. Love having those hill billy inbreed, dungaree wearing, sloths being forced to worship the Cock. Yo Skap, you like that boy, you feel me bro, kneel before your master homeboy!'.