PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Paul Harris (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). PoopyPants has chosen Deathly Quiet as his entrance music. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Harris
vs
PoopyPants

180 cm
27
225 lbs
11 - 7 - 0

197 cm
29
222 lbs
20 - 9 - 0

Great wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Great elbows
Good gas tank

GREEN!160

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 7 - 0, fighting out of London, Paul Harris!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 20 - 9 - 0, fighting out of London, BitchFace PoopyPants!
The judges for this bout are James Atkins, Chris Edwards and Daniel Bishop.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
No joy there for Harris, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
PoopyPants tries to clinch but Harris is having none of it.
PoopyPants slips a jab from Harris.
PoopyPants swings for the body but Harris moves out of range.
PoopyPants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Harris manages to avoid it.
Harris throws a left and a right that both miss
enabling PoopyPants to counter with a crisp jab.
Harris shoots in and drives through. PoopyPants sprawls well.
PoopyPants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Harris buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Harris misses with a straight left.
Harris misses the jab.
A punch lands to the side of PoopyPants 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Harris avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
We've been informed that PoopyPants has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
PoopyPants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Harris manages to avoid it.
PoopyPants tries to clinch there but Harris circles away.
Harris misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants lands a body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants tries to close the distance and clinch up but Harris swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Harris walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. PoopyPants checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Harris wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Harris is looking to score with low kicks.
PoopyPants uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Harris has time to react.
PoopyPants misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Harris.
Harris throws the left hand but PoopyPants avoids the punch easily.
PoopyPants slips a jab and a cross from Harris.
Harris fails to land with a series of punches.
PoopyPants cracks a nice hook into Harris's ribs.
Decent striking displayed by PoopyPants there.
PoopyPants tries to close the distance and clinch up but Harris swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Harris has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Harris takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
PoopyPants is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Harris rather than just go for the knockout.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Harris throws a head kick that misses.
BitchFace PoopyPants is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Harris.
PoopyPants displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Harris throws out the jab.
Harris swings and misses with a shot to the body

and PoopyPants counters into the clinch. Nicely done.
PoopyPants gets double underhooks to prevent a takedown attempt from Harris.
Harris avoids the elbow strike from PoopyPants, against the cage.
PoopyPants prevents a takedown attempt there.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Paul Harris. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Harris changes levels and goes for a takedown here. PoopyPants fights it off and pushes away nicely.
An inside leg kick from Harris misses.
Harris changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. PoopyPants tries to avoid it but Harris manages to keep hold of a leg and drag PoopyPants to the ground. PoopyPants escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
PoopyPants tries to clinch but Harris is having none of it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Harris misses with a jab, cross combination.
PoopyPants is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
Harris throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
PoopyPants connects with a jab.
Harris connects with a crisp jab.
A right-left combo lands from Harris.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
PoopyPants misses with a straight left.
PoopyPants checks a leg kick.
PoopyPants throws a jab but it's blocked by Harris.
PoopyPants digs a good body shot into Harris's ribs.
Harris moves away from the strike by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants works Harris's body with a nice hook.
PoopyPants lands a jab to the head.
Harris shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts PoopyPants, as that shot connected.
Harris takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants looks to land a left hand but Harris moved out of range nicely.
Harris takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Harris swats away the attempt to clinch by PoopyPants.
Harris misses with a body punch
and PoopyPants counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
A left lands for PoopyPants.
PoopyPants connects with a single shot there.
Harris shoots in for a double leg but PoopyPants sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Harris slips a jab and a cross from PoopyPants.
Harris takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
The crowd cheers as PoopyPants lands an impressive looking overhand right. Harris doesn't seem phased though.

Harris is rocked!
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Harris misses with an uppercut
and PoopyPants counters with a huge left! Harris is in big trouble! He's backing up but PoopyPants isn't giving him chance to recover. Under a barage of punches the ref has to step in to save Harris from any more damage. A dominating finish by PoopyPants!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:52 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). BitchFace PoopyPants!
During a confident post fight interview, BitchFace PoopyPants thanked all his fans. He seemed very genuine when describing how motivated his fans keep him.