PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Paul Harris (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). PoopyPants comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Deathly Quiet kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Harris
vs
PoopyPants

180 cm
27
225 lbs
12 - 8 - 0

197 cm
29
222 lbs
21 - 10 - 0

Great wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Great elbows
Good gas tank

GREEN!160

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 8 - 0, fighting out of London, Paul Harris!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 21 - 10 - 0, fighting out of London, BitchFace PoopyPants!
The judges for this bout are Richard Clark, William Gold and Paul Tew.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
PoopyPants avoids the head kick by Harris.
Harris throws a sloppy head kick and PoopyPants moves out of range easily.
PoopyPants cracks Harris with a good jab.
PoopyPants digs a good hook to Harris's body.
PoopyPants will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.

The fight moves into the clinch position.
PoopyPants is trying to force a seperation but Harris has the dominant position.
Harris tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
PoopyPants misses with an elbow strike.

Harris tightens his grip and picks PoopyPants up, before dumping him to the ground. PoopyPants manages to land in guard.
Harris has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.

Harris drops back for a leg but he's not going to get it - he lets go and PoopyPants dives on top into guard.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
PoopyPants won't allow Harris to sweep him here.
Harris tries to strike from the bottom.
Harris has a closed guard, preventing PoopyPants from standing up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Harris wants to sweep but no luck.
PoopyPants trying to control but Harris is working from the bottom.

PoopyPants gets to his feet and steps away from his opponent.
A slow jab from Harris misses its intended target.
The fighters circling - PoopyPants throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
PoopyPants fails in his attempt to clinch.
PoopyPants has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.

Harris dives in and scores a takedown into PoopyPants's guard.
Harris looking to pass the guard.
PoopyPants is pulling down on Harris's head to control his posture.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Harris lands a nice shot whilst sitting in his opponent's guard.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Harris is looking to work some ground and pound but PoopyPants has wrist control.
PoopyPants can't keep his opponent in guard - Harris advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.
Harris has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.

Harris is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.
Harris is pressing down on PoopyPants's thigh, looking to free his foot. PoopyPants is holding on for now.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants wants to stand back up but Harris manages to pass into side control.
Harris tries to move into full mount but can't pass PoopyPants's legs.

Harris looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.

Harris goes for an armbar here - this could be all over! But no, PoopyPants has escaped beautifully and is now on top in side control! Oh, that's unlucky for Harris but great work by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants tries to get to his feet but Harris is in the middle of advancing position himself and ends up with PoopyPants in his guard.

Harris is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. PoopyPants is aware though and is defending well.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Harris tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Harris looking to sweep using the butterfly guard but PoopyPants puts pay to that idea as he passes nicely into half guard.
PoopyPants perhaps working for something from half guard, or maybe not. It looks like he's just sitting there.
PoopyPants tries to stand but can't do so whilst Harris controls his leg.
Harris is looking to improve his position.

Harris is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but PoopyPants pulls his head out easily.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
PoopyPants tries to stand but his hand is stuck under Harris.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Paul Harris will probably get the nod.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Harris connects with a right hand. PoopyPants shakes it off.
Nice defenses there by Harris.
Harris misses with a body shot.
PoopyPants scores with a three punch combo!
PoopyPants leaves Harris with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
PoopyPants digs a good body shot into Harris's ribs.
PoopyPants lands with an overhand left.
PoopyPants cracks Harris with an open hand slap.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Harris changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. PoopyPants tries to avoid it but Harris manages to keep hold of a leg and drag PoopyPants to the ground. PoopyPants escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Harris throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Harris circles away from the clinch attempt.
Harris is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Harris takes one to the chin there.
PoopyPants ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Harris misses with a lunging right hand
and PoopyPants counters with a stiff right hand.

That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants swings for the body but Harris moves out of range.
Harris changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. PoopyPants tries to avoid it but Harris manages to keep hold of a leg and drag PoopyPants to the ground. PoopyPants escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Paul Harris. That's going to take a lot out of him.
PoopyPants is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
A shot to the liver by PoopyPants. Beautiful body shot.
Harris throws a predictable looking body shot
and PoopyPants counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
PoopyPants avoids the head kick by Harris.
Paul Harris seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
PoopyPants's jab looks to have found its range, popping Harris under the eye.
Nice defenses there by PoopyPants.
BitchFace PoopyPants is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
PoopyPants tries to clinch up but Harris circles away and keeps his distance.
Harris misses with a telegraphed body shot

and PoopyPants holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A nice glancing elbow lands by PoopyPants.
Harris drops down looking for an ankle pick but PoopyPants pulls his leg out and moves away.
PoopyPants blocks a jab.
The fight stays on the outside here - PoopyPants looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Good exchange - PoopyPants coming out on top.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Harris's head.
Harris slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Harris throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Harris lands a jab to the nose.
Harris shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as PoopyPants sprawls well. PoopyPants wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Harris gets slowly back to his feet.

PoopyPants has closed the distance and engaged Harris in a clinch.
Harris tries for a takedown but PoopyPants manages to get underhooks.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
PoopyPants lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
PoopyPants gets underhooks to prevent Harris's takedown attempt.
PoopyPants prevents the takedown attempt.

PoopyPants pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
PoopyPants lands a jab-cross combination.
PoopyPants lands a slapping body shot.
Harris misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from PoopyPants.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Harris ducks down and throws a hook to the body but PoopyPants moves away.
PoopyPants is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Harris does a little dance to reset his feet.
PoopyPants slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Harris lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but PoopyPants circles away quickly and effectively.
Harris pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Harris is looking to clinch.
PoopyPants digs a good hook to Harris's body.
Harris tries to clinch there but PoopyPants circles away.
A jab lands there for PoopyPants.
PoopyPants takes one to the side of the head.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!

PoopyPants fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Harris, pushing him back against the cage.
Harris is looking to take this one to the mat.
Harris dodges an elbow strike from PoopyPants.
Harris has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. PoopyPants is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
PoopyPants throws an elbow but it's blocked.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
PoopyPants is pressed up against the cage. Harris has hold of a leg and is looking to drag PoopyPants down to the mat. PoopyPants avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
Harris walks into a stiff left hand from PoopyPants.
Harris throws a head kick that misses.
PoopyPants moves out of range of the body kick.
PoopyPants tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Harris manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
PoopyPants tries to clinch but Harris is having none of it.
PoopyPants looks to score with a jab to the body but Harris is just out of range.
Harris takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Harris takes a jab right on the kisser.
PoopyPants staying out of range there.
PoopyPants has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Harris fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
PoopyPants fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Harris looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
PoopyPants moves out of range of the body kick.

PoopyPants drives through and clinches with Harris against the cage.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

BitchFace PoopyPants showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! This is the final round!

PoopyPants takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
Harris on the wrong end of a nice hook.

PoopyPants lands a big right hand that sends Harris crashing to the mat! PoopyPants stays standing though and waves Harris back to his feet!

Harris is rocked!
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
PoopyPants moves in close and cracks Harris with a massive right hand! Harris, frozen momentarily in time, tumbles to the canvas, already out cold! A brutal knockout by PoopyPants!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:16 of round 3, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). BitchFace PoopyPants!
Our winner, BitchFace PoopyPants, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.