PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Alfred Hammarskjold (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Hammarskjold comes to the cage accompanied by Rasmus på luffen - Luffarvisan. Cartman has chosen All Within My Hands as his entrance music. Alfred Hammarskjold is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Hammarskjold
vs
Cartman

183 cm
34
290 lbs
28 - 15 - 0

199 cm
33
283 lbs
20 - 14 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

GREEN!160

GREEN!160
Just Fight (Everything 8$)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 28 - 15 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Alfred Hammarskjold!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 20 - 14 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Eric Cartman!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Don Winkell and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cartman scores with a jab to the body.
Cartman tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Hammarskjold paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Hammarskjold appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Cartman throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Hammarskjold tries to counter with a takedown but Cartman is quick to defend against it.
Hammarskjold has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Hammarskjold there as he acknowledges the shot.
Hammarskjold tries to move into range but Cartman moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Cartman tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Hammarskjold counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Cartman doesn't manage to clinch there - Hammarskjold circles away.
Cartman throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Cartman throws a half hearted mid kick.
Hammarskjold swats away the attempt to clinch by Cartman.
Hammarskjold changes levels looking for a counter takedown but doesn't commit.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Cartman closes the distance and pushes Hammarskjold back into the cage.
A nice right hand lands inside from Cartman.
Cartman pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Knees in the clinch landing for Cartman.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cartman prevents a takedown attempt there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman lands a hook to the side of the head.
Hammarskjold tries a knee to the head but Cartman blocks it.
Hammarskjold has hold of a leg and is looking for a trip takedown. Cartman avoids it nicely though and we remain in the clinch.
A short left from Cartman.
Cartman pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Hammarskjold blocking some punches.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Cartman.

It looks like Alfred Hammarskjold has been cut.
Hammarskjold tries to pull guard but Cartman holds him up against the cage and eventually Hammarskjold drops back down to his feet.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Alfred Hammarskjold. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Cartman scores with a shoulder strike.
Cartman using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Hammarskjold has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Cartman lands with a left to the head.
Cartman prevents a takedown attempt there.
Hammarskjold lands a hook that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
Hammarskjold managing to block the knees to the body from Cartman.
A short left from Cartman.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Cartman is stalling here.
Hammarskjold blocks an elbow strike from Cartman.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Hammarskjold is looking to take this one to the mat.
Cartman lands a body punch.
Hammarskjold blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Cartman goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Hammarskjold looking for a takedown.
Cartman tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
A head punch on the inside from Cartman fails to land.
Hammarskjold goes for a takedown attempt but Cartman pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Cartman lands a leg kick that knocks Hammarskjold off balance momentarily.
Cartman is looking to clinch but Hammarskjold is avoiding it.
Cartman throws a right hand that Hammarskjold ducks under and follows up with a left that Hammarskjold also avoids with ease.
Hammarskjold dives in for a single leg takedown but Cartman sprawls and the fighters end up clinched against the cage.
Cartman lands a jab to Hammarskjold's midsection.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman connects with a jab.
Cartman fails with an attempt to clinch.

Hammarskjold gets tackled into the cage by Cartman. Cartman maintains the clinch.
Hammarskjold blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Hammarskjold tries to land knees in the clinch but Cartman avoids the damage to the body.
Cartman working aggressively here.
Hammarskjold drops down looking for an ankle pick but Cartman pulls his leg out and moves away.
The fight stays on the outside here - Cartman looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Cartman fails with an attempt to clinch.
Cartman tries to clinch up.

Hammarskjold shoots in for a takedown and gets it.
Cartman blocking the ground and pound attempt from Hammarskjold.
Cartman tries to roll over but Hammarskjold keeps him under control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Hammarskjold wants to pass the guard but Cartman is defending well.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Cartman is not content to let Hammarskjold control the position.
Hammarskjold lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.
Cartman tries to get to full guard but Hammarskjold has control of the leg.
Cartman regains full guard. Nicely done.
Hammarskjold has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Hammarskjold working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Cartman's head.
Cartman throwing strikes off his back to little effect.
Cartman keeping moving, preventing Hammarskjold from controlling successfully.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Hammarskjold lands a couple of digs.
Hammarskjold with a flurry of punches that miss.
Hammarskjold postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Cartman has control of Hammarskjold's left arm, preventing Hammarskjold from doing any damage.
Cartman is trying to control the position from the bottom.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Alfred Hammarskjold's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Cartman closes the distance and clinches.
Hammarskjold jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Cartman walks away with a smile on his face. Hammarskjold gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
Cartman tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Hammarskjold tries to counter with a takedown but Cartman is quick to defend against it.
Hammarskjold avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Cartman looks to throw the jab but Hammarskjold is out of range.
Hammarskjold tries to counter by clinching up but Cartman breaks away and moves out of range.
Eric Cartman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Cartman moves in looking to clinch but Hammarskjold pushes him off.
Hammarskjold changes levels looking for a counter takedown but doesn't commit.

Cartman closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
A short right from Cartman.
Cartman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Hammarskjold takes a knee right on the jaw!
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Hammarskjold turns his back and goes for a hip toss. It's a bit messy but it gets the job done and Hammarskjold manages to end up in side control.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Cartman regains half guard.
Cartman is trying to maintain the position but Hammarskjold is very close to passing his half guard.
Hammarskjold missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.
Hammarskjold stops Cartman from getting back to his feet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Hammarskjold is thwarting Cartman's attempts to control the position.
Cartman has hold of Hammarskjold's hands but Hammarskjold slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.
Hammarskjold is scoring with some nice ground and pound from the dominant position.
Cartman is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Cartman tries to strike from the bottom but it doesn't land.
Hammarskjold looks to score some points with some ground and pound.
Cartman wants to get back to full guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Cartman wants to control but Hammarskjold is keeping busy.
Hammarskjold landing with strikes to the body and head, softening up his opponent.
Cartman wants to improve his position but Hammarskjold is controlling well.
Hammarskjold trying to control the action but Cartman is working from the bottom.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Hammarskjold scoring with strikes to the body and head.
Hammarskjold wants to lay and pray for a moment but Cartman keeps working.
Hammarskjold throwing shots but Cartman is blocking nicely.
Hammarskjold throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.

Hammarskjold is looking for a kimura but Cartman is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Hammarskjold to get the leverage.
Cartman has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Hammarskjold is working away from the top position though.
Cartman has been the more effective fighter overall so far.

Cartman is defending against the submission attempts here by Hammarskjold.
Cartman is trying to stand.
Cartman trying to control from the bottom.
Hammarskjold is stalling here. Cartman is in no mood to hang around though. He's locked up a kimura from the bottom! Hammarskjold seems to be keeping calm but he's forced to roll out of the hold and Cartman has ended up in side control on the top. Nice work.
Cartman looks up at the clock and then as Hammarskjold takes his cue and looks up at the clock too, Cartman smacks him right in the chops with a big elbow! How rude!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman scoring with punches from side control.
Hammarskjold takes a couple of big shots there - the referee warns him that he has to defend himself better.
Hammarskjold takes a couple of big shots there - the referee warns him that he has to defend himself better.
Hammarskjold tries to buck Cartman off but Cartman is having none of it.
Hammarskjold is not in a great position here, taking some shots.

Alfred Hammarskjold's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
An elbow from Cartman crashes against the mat.
Cartman tries to advance to mount but Hammarskjold denies him.
Cartman is chipping away with strikes.

Jeez, Alfred Hammarskjold's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Alfred Hammarskjold's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:59 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Eric Cartman!
A relieved looking Eric Cartman thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.