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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Greedy Assfister (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Derk Cult (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Both fighters look pumped up here. Let's hope this is a good fight!
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| 165 cm
25
146 lbs
2 - 0 - 0 |
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175 cm
25
140 lbs
0 - 2 - 0 |
Good wrestling
Great elbows
Good chin |
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BJJ White Belt
Lethal high kicks
Heavy handed |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Greedy Assfister!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
0 - 2 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Derk Cult!
The judges for this bout are Bart Greer, Dirk Anderson and Winston Alpacca.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Assfister slips a jab and a cross from Cult.
Assfister clinches up against the cage.
A frustrated look appears on Cult's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Assfister lands a damaging elbow.
Assfister throws an elbow but it misses.
Cult blocks the elbow strike.
Assfister creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Cult's defenses.
Cult tries to circle away but Assfister has him pinned against the cage.
Assfister lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Cult tries to stall but Assfister uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Assfister throws an elbow that misses.
Assfister keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Cult's efforts to push away.
Cult blocks an elbow strike.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Assfister lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
Cult avoids a wild elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister pushes off an throws an elbow but Cult leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Assfister misses with an elbow strike.
Cult blocks an elbow strike.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Assfister throws an elbow but it misses.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Assfister just misses with a elbow thrown towards Cult's brow.
Cult avoids the elbow strike from Assfister, against the cage.
Cult wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Assfister throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Assfister throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Cult blocks an elbow strike.
Assfister lands an elbow inside.
Cult can't find room to land a body shot as Assfister controls the action.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
Cult is trying to push Assfister away but Assfister has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Assfister pushes off an throws an elbow but Cult leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Assfister pushes off an throws an elbow but Cult leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Assfister.
Assfister looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Assfister throws an elbow but it misses.
Assfister keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Cult's efforts to push away.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cult has had enough of the clinch but Assfister keeps him there for the moment.
Assfister keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Cult's efforts to push away.
Assfister lands an elbow that stopped Cult in his tracks for a moment.
Assfister throws an elbow but it misses.
Cult working hard to break the clinch.
Cult wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Assfister has him pressed against the cage.
A frustrated look appears on Cult's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Cult avoids a wild elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister throws an elbow that misses.
Assfister tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Cult looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
Assfister throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Cult takes an elbow to the temple.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Cult avoids the elbow strike from Assfister, against the cage.
Cult blocks an elbow strike.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
Cult has had enough of the clinch but Assfister keeps him there for the moment.
Assfister creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Cult swings wildly with an uppercut but Assfister uses good head movement to avoid it.
With the fighters up against the cage, Assfister throws an elbow but misses.
Cult struggles to land a body shot inside as Assfister controls his hands.
We've been informed that Cult has been working hard on his conditioning in the buildup to the fight.
Assfister throws an elbow that misses.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
Cult is trying to push Assfister away but Assfister has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Cult blocks an elbow strike.
Cult wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Cult tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Assfister's elbow.
Cult is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Cult avoids a wild elbow strike from Assfister.
Cult wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Nice elbow from Assfister.
Assfister looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Assfister pushes off an throws an elbow but Cult leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Cult wants to break free but Assfister has control.
Cult dodges an elbow strike from Assfister.
Cult wants to break free but Assfister has control.
Assfister throws an elbow but it misses.
Cult is trying to force a seperation but Assfister has the dominant position.
Cult avoids a wild elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Cult is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Assfister lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
Assfister misses with an elbow strike.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
Assfister throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Assfister throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Greedy Assfister dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!
Cult tries a head kick but it misses.
Assfister is looking to clinch but Cult is avoiding it.
Assfister is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Cult can do to turn this around?
Assfister avoids a punch combination nicely.
Cult gets a clinch.
Cult tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Cult scores with an uppercut up the middle.
With the fighters up against the cage, Assfister throws an elbow but misses.
Cult blocks the elbow strike.
Assfister pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Assfister throws an elbow that misses.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
Cult manages to break the clinch.
Cult throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Cult fails to land with a series of punches.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Assfister slips a jab and a cross from Cult.
Cult misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Assfister feints and as Cult raises his hands in defense, Assfister changes levels and drives through with a takedown into guard.
Cult is looking to sweep but instead, Assfister has passed into half guard.
Cult wants to get back to full guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Assfister stands up from half guard.
Cult avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Assfister closes the distance and clinches.
Assfister comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Assfister looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Assfister lands an elbow that stopped Cult in his tracks for a moment.
Assfister looks to throw an elbow but misses.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Assfister lands a damaging elbow.
Cult is rocked!
Cult avoids a wild elbow strike from Assfister.
Cult is still on wobbly legs! Can Assfister finish him?
Assfister throws an elbow that misses.
Cult blocks an elbow strike.
Cult blocks the elbow strike.
Greedy Assfister has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Assfister throws an elbow but it misses.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
Cult dodges an elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Cult avoids the elbow strike from Assfister, against the cage.
Cult tries to stall but Assfister uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Assfister creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Cult seems to have recovered his senses.
Cult avoids the elbow strike from Assfister, against the cage.
Assfister pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Assfister pushes off an throws an elbow but Cult leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Cult is trying to force a seperation but Assfister has the dominant position.
Cult looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
Cult dodges an elbow strike from Assfister.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Assfister lands an elbow just above Cult 's eye.
Assfister throws an elbow but it misses.
Cult dodges an elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Cult tries to circle away but Assfister has him pinned against the cage.
Cult tries to circle away but Assfister has him pinned against the cage.
Assfister keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Cult's efforts to push away.
Cult dodges an elbow strike from Assfister.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Assfister just misses with a elbow thrown towards Cult's brow.
Cult works on Assfister's body with a couple of short punches.
Cult avoids a wild elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Assfister has Cult pressed against the cage, preventing Cult from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Cult is trying to break the clinch but Assfister is controlling him.
Cult wants to break the clinch but can't.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Assfister misses with an elbow strike.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
Cult avoids a wild elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
Cult tries to break the clinch but Assfister is controlling the position.
Cult blocks an elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Cult is trying to break the clinch but Assfister has him pressed against the cage.
Assfister keeps control of Cult as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Assfister's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
Assfister creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Assfister throws an elbow but it misses.
Assfister misses with an elbow strike.
Assfister prevents Cult from breaking the clinch.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Greedy Assfister dominated that second round.
That's time! Assfister's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!
Cult avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Derk Cult seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Cult throws a sloppy head kick and Assfister moves out of range easily.
Cult darts in and clinches Assfister up against the cage.
Assfister keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Cult's efforts to push away.
Assfister creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Assfister just misses with a elbow thrown towards Cult's brow.
Assfister throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Cult dodges an elbow strike from Assfister.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Assfister.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Assfister throws an elbow that misses.
Cult has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Assfister.
Cult avoids a wild elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister pushes off an throws an elbow but Cult leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Assfister just misses with a elbow thrown towards Cult's brow.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A right handed body shot lands from Cult.
Cult avoids a wild elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Cult's efforts to push away.
Assfister pushes off an throws an elbow but Cult leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Assfister lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
Cult avoids a wild elbow strike from Assfister.
Assfister lands a damaging elbow.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Assfister just misses with a elbow thrown towards Cult's brow.
Cult struggles to land a body shot inside as Assfister controls his hands.
Assfister throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Assfister pushes off an throws an elbow but Cult leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Assfister blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Assfister holding his opponent close, against the cage.
Cult is looking to break free of the clinch but Assfister has double underhooks.
Derk Cult has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Greedy Assfister is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cult wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Assfister has him pressed against the cage.
Cult is trying to break free.
Assfister misses with an elbow over the top.
Cult misses with a punch to the body.
Assfister prevents Cult from breaking the clinch.
A frustrated look appears on Cult's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Cult wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Cult is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Assfister pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Assfister has Cult pressed against the cage, preventing Cult from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Assfister throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Cult swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Assfister throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Assfister keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Cult's efforts to push away.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Assfister just misses with a elbow thrown towards Cult's brow.
A head punch on the inside from Cult fails to land.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
Assfister pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Cult is looking to control Assfister's arms but Assfister gets an underhook and turns him. Now Cult has his back to the cage.
Assfister throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Cult trying to control the position but instead, Assfister has worked for underhooks and has pushed Cult into the cage.
Assfister blocking some punches.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Cult tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Cult tries to circle away but Assfister has him pinned against the cage.
Assfister pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
And that's the end of the fight!
Greedy Assfister showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Assfister, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Bart Greer scores the fight 30:26
Judge Dirk Anderson scores the fight 30:26
Judge Winston Alpacca scores the fight 30:26
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Greedy Assfister!
Post fight, Greedy Assfister stared into the camera and said 'Pay me bitch'.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
39% |
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