PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Owen Glyde (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). PoopyPants has chosen Deathly Quiet as his entrance music. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Glyde
vs
PoopyPants

174 cm
28
212 lbs
18 - 7 - 0

197 cm
30
222 lbs
22 - 11 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Very quick

Good wrestler
Great elbows
Good gas tank

GREEN!160

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 18 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Owen Glyde!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 22 - 11 - 0, fighting out of London, BitchFace PoopyPants!
The judges for this bout are James Atkins, Colin Fotheringham and Paul Tew.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Nice body punch from PoopyPants.
A combination from Glyde does no damage.

Glyde closes the distance and gets a trip takedown into side control. PoopyPants quickly recovers to half guard.
PoopyPants keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
PoopyPants tries to get to full guard but Glyde has control of the leg.
PoopyPants is looking to control Glyde's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can PoopyPants avoid being mounted?
PoopyPants is looking to improve his position.
PoopyPants moves into full guard.
PoopyPants keeping moving, preventing Glyde from controlling successfully.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

PoopyPants throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
PoopyPants keeping full guard, as Glyde tries to pass.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Glyde in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Glyde trying to control the position from guard on top but PoopyPants is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Glyde preventing the sweep.
Glyde wants to control from the top but PoopyPants keeps moving.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

PoopyPants looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Glyde passes into half guard.
Glyde not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.

PoopyPants looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Glyde perhaps working for something from half guard, or maybe not. It looks like he's just sitting there.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
PoopyPants wants to control but Glyde is keeping busy and won't allow it.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

PoopyPants looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
PoopyPants wants to improve his position but Glyde is controlling well.
PoopyPants moves into full guard.
Glyde pushing down on PoopyPants's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
PoopyPants has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Glyde is working away from the top position though.
PoopyPants avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Glyde.
PoopyPants is looking to improve his position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.

PoopyPants actively working from the bottom here.
PoopyPants has hold of Glyde's hands but Glyde slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.
The referee walks around the fighters to get a better view of the action. Glyde lands a nice short elbow.
Glyde prevents PoopyPants from improving his position.
Glyde stalling.
PoopyPants is trying to get back to full guard.
Glyde looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants tries to get to full guard but Glyde has control of the leg.
PoopyPants has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Glyde is working away from the top position though.
PoopyPants won't allow Glyde to pass to mount.

Glyde is looking for a kimura but PoopyPants is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Glyde to get the leverage.
PoopyPants keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
PoopyPants is refusing to be controlled, as Glyde sits in half guard.
The referee wants the fighters to be more active or he's going to reset them on the feet.

PoopyPants looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
PoopyPants moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Owen Glyde dominated that round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

PoopyPants throws a jab when Glyde was well out of range.
PoopyPants defending well as Glyde loads up on a big left hand.
PoopyPants connects with a looping right hand.
Glyde throws the left hand but PoopyPants avoids the punch easily.
We've been told by Glyde's head coaches at M Jay's Training Center that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
PoopyPants changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Glyde takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
PoopyPants lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Glyde at a distance.
Glyde swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Glyde throws a combination but it was largely blocked by PoopyPants.
Glyde tries to clinch up but PoopyPants circles away and keeps his distance.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
PoopyPants listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
PoopyPants blocks a jab.
PoopyPants shoots in and drives through. Glyde sprawls well.
Glyde wants to clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants fails with the takedown
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
PoopyPants moves out of range as Glyde strikes.
Glyde avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
PoopyPants is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
PoopyPants moves in looking to clinch but Glyde pushes him off.
Glyde tries a head kick but it misses.
PoopyPants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Glyde moves in looking to clinch but PoopyPants pushes him off.
BitchFace PoopyPants seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Glyde swings for the body but PoopyPants moves out of range.
PoopyPants throws a right and a left that both miss.

PoopyPants shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Glyde is trying to defend but PoopyPants finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.
Glyde wants to control but PoopyPants is keeping busy and won't allow it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

PoopyPants is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Glyde has managed to free his arm - good work.
Glyde tries to get to full guard but PoopyPants has control of the leg.
PoopyPants wants to pass to mount but Glyde is defending the position.
Glyde trying to control from the bottom.
PoopyPants thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.
PoopyPants missing with the ground and pound from half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

PoopyPants is trying for a kimura here. Glyde looks like he's in a lot of pain... and he's tapping out! PoopyPants wins by kimura!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:21 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). BitchFace PoopyPants!
A relieved looking BitchFace PoopyPants thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.