PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Howard Stern (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Fardoche Fermier (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Stern comes to the cage accompanied by The Great American Nightmare. Howard Stern has a significant reach advantage - let's see if he can make it count.

Stern
vs
Fermier

184 cm
22
197 lbs
9 - 0 - 0

167 cm
26
200 lbs
10 - 5 - 0

Powerful takedowns
Basic striking
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Decent boxing
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Howard Stern!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Fardoche Fermier!
The judges for this bout are George Francis, Stewart Dunkirk and Cecil Peabody.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A looping hook to the body misses from Fermier. Stern does a little dance to reset his feet.
We've been informed that Fermier has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Stern tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.

Stern tries to sprawl but Fermier drives through with a takedown into half guard.
Fermier working Stern over with strikes.
Fermier really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Stern. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.

Stern looking for submissions from an awkward position here.

Stern looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Fermier trying to control from half guard but Stern is working away.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Stern keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Fermier missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Stern trying to control from the bottom.
Stern wants to get back to full guard.
Stern gets back to full guard.

Stern is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Stern looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.

Stern is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Fermier defends well.
Fermier must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Fermier looking to pass the guard.

Stern is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Fermier is aware though and is defending well.

Stern looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.

Stern is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Fermier defends well.
Fermier sitting in guard here, content to control.
Fermier distracts Stern with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Stern has his foot on Fermier's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Fermier works his way back into a safe position though.
Fermier looking to pass the guard.

Stern working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Fermier doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Fermier manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Fermier scores with a decent looking elbow strike.
Stern will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Stern keeping moving, preventing Fermier from controlling successfully.
Fermier scores with a decent looking elbow strike.

Stern throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Fermier trying to control but Stern is working from the bottom.
Fermier stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Stern swivels though and keeps the full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Stern avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.

Stern throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.

Stern escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Fermier gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.

Fermier is trying to tuck his arms in to keep them safe but Stern has managed to isolate one of them and has got a loose triangle. Fermier is looking to defend but Stern has done well to lock his legs together - this could be big trouble for Fermier! Stern pulls down on the head and a little smile comes across his face - he knows he's got it. Yep, Fermier taps out and this one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:46 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle). Howard Stern!
A relieved looking Howard Stern thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.