PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Lorenzo Von Matterhorn (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Edward Nygma (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Von Matterhorn comes to the ring accompanied by Sharp Dressed Man. Nygma is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Eazy E - Boys In Da Hood. Lorenzo Von Matterhorn could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Edward Nygma's chin.

Von Matterhorn
vs
Nygma

225 cm
41
287 lbs
39 - 13 - 1

225 cm
32
224 lbs
35 - 10 - 0

World class boxer
Insanely flexible

World class boxer
Good gas tank

Dissolution Fight Wear
Sex Panther! 160q energy drink $249!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 39 - 13 - 1, fighting out of Sydney, Lorenzo Von Matterhorn!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 35 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Edward Nygma!
The judges for this bout are Daniel Blasius, Nard Betker and Saam Ante.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Nygma lands a head shot.
Von Matterhorn misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Von Matterhorn lands with a hook. Nygma tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
We've been informed that Nygma has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Von Matterhorn tries to land a front kick but Nygma steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
A jab from Von Matterhorn misses.
Von Matterhorn fakes the leg kick and cracks Nygma in the body.
A solid leg kick lands there for Von Matterhorn.

Von Matterhorn connects with a beautiful left hand that drops Nygma onto his butt! Nygma bounces straight back up though - he's OK. After the ref checks him out, we're back to the action.

Nygma is rocked!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Von Matterhorn throws a low kick but Nygma moves out of range easily.
Nygma on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
A lazy body kick from Von Matterhorn
and Nygma counters with a slapping leg kick.
Nygma throws a leg kick but Von Matterhorn checks it.
Von Matterhorn misses with a looping right.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Von Matterhorn closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the ropes.
Nygma wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Von Matterhorn really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
A short right from Von Matterhorn.
Von Matterhorn misses with a hook from the clinch.
Nygma makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Von Matterhorn is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Nygma is defending well for now.
Von Matterhorn misses with a hook from the clinch.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Von Matterhorn.
Still in the clinch, Nygma scores with a nice short uppercut.

Von Matterhorn escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Nygma loads up on a big right hand but Von Matterhorn slips the punch.
Nygma misses with a double jab.
Von Matterhorn tries a head kick but it misses.
Nygma blocks a head kick by Von Matterhorn.
Nygma throws a leg kick but Von Matterhorn sees it coming and checks it nicely.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A good leg kick by Von Matterhorn.
Von Matterhorn throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Von Matterhorn on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Nygma misses with a body kick.
Von Matterhorn misses with a hook to the body
and Nygma counters with a right hand to the body.
Nygma throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Nygma - that will leave a mark!
Von Matterhorn throws a sloppy head kick and Nygma moves out of range easily.
Von Matterhorn throws a right hand that misses
and Nygma counters with a low kick, right behind Von Matterhorn 's knee.
Nygma cracks Von Matterhorn with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Von Matterhorn displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Nygma throws out the jab.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Nygma fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Nygma fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Von Matterhorn has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Von Matterhorn lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Nygma circles away quickly and effectively.
Nygma takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.

Von Matterhorn catches his opponent with a big hook that sends him to the canvas! Nygma stumbles back to his feet but will the referee allow it to continue? Nygma walks forwards and this one will be allowed to continue! Come on!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Nygma dips to his left and cracks Von Matterhorn with an uppercut!
Nygma waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Von Matterhorn.
Von Matterhorn misses with a body kick.
Nygma throws out a leg kick but Von Matterhorn moves out of range and Nygma only half commits.
Von Matterhorn ducks under a wild hook from Nygma.
Nygma misses with a body punch
and Von Matterhorn cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Nygma is still on wobbly legs! Can Von Matterhorn finish him?
Nygma throws a low kick but Von Matterhorn avoids it.
Nygma seems to have recovered his senses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A kick lands to the mid section there for Nygma.
Von Matterhorn misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Nygma.
Von Matterhorn moves out of range of the body kick from Nygma.
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Nygma throws a body punch but Von Matterhorn moves out of range.
Von Matterhorn misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Von Matterhorn looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Von Matterhorn throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Von Matterhorn defending well as Nygma loads up on a big left hand.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Nygma takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Nygma fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Von Matterhorn manages to avoid it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn takes that one as he scored multiple knockdowns. Edward Nygma was lucky to get out of the first round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Nygma misses with a body kick.
Von Matterhorn closes the distance and catches Nygma with a lead hook that drops him to the canvas! Nygma is clearly dazed and struggling here! 3,4,5,6,7 and Nygma is up to his feet but the referee has called it off! Nygma is still far too wobbly and he's not going to allow the fight to continue! Von Matterhorn takes it!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:11 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punch). Lorenzo Von Matterhorn!
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.
Edward Nygma spoke after the fight, saying 'Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting pussy so mothafucka!! i fucking demand a rematch or else get me some pussy to fuck hard.'.