PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Matt Payne (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Fatherfockerusus has chosen Born to be wild by Steppenwolf as his entrance music. Matt Payne has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Payne
vs
Fatherfockerusus

173 cm
25
174 lbs
1 - 1 - 0

186 cm
38
176 lbs
32 - 19 - 0

Decent wrestler
Brawler
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Matt Payne!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 32 - 19 - 0, fighting out of London, Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus!
The judges for this bout are Eliza Hachem, Bruno Hogan and Damien Edna.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Fatherfockerusus looking to score a takedown here. Payne is defending well but Fatherfockerusus drives through and ends up in Payne's guard.
Fatherfockerusus content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
Payne is trying to control the position from the bottom.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Fatherfockerusus is in close to Payne's body, working some short punches and elbows.
Fatherfockerusus not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
Payne knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Fatherfockerusus on the ground.
Payne keeping moving, preventing Fatherfockerusus from controlling successfully.
Fatherfockerusus content to stall in guard here.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Fatherfockerusus working from the guard for now, landing some ground and pound.
Payne on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Payne tries to get out of the position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus content to stall in guard here.
Payne trying to control the position.
Fatherfockerusus stays in close to Payne's body and controls the position.
Payne keeping moving, preventing Fatherfockerusus from controlling successfully.
Fatherfockerusus chips away with some ground and pound.
Payne has momentary wrist control but Fatherfockerusus slips an elbow through the middle.
Fatherfockerusus throwing strikes from guard but Payne blocks nicely.
Payne keeping moving, preventing Fatherfockerusus from controlling successfully.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Fatherfockerusus accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Fatherfockerusus sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Payne's guard.
Fatherfockerusus scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
Payne tries to roll over but Fatherfockerusus keeps him under control.
Fatherfockerusus wants to lay and pray for a moment but Payne keeps working.

Fatherfockerusus is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Payne sees it coming and defends easily.
Well, if Fatherfockerusus is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The two fighters exchange a few words. I couldn't hear what they were saying but maybe it's more fun if you make it up yourself. Fatherfockerusus connects with a nice short shot to Payne's temple.
Fatherfockerusus is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Fatherfockerusus is looking to stall here but Payne recovers full guard.
Payne looking to hit a scissor sweep but Fatherfockerusus is one step ahead there.
Fatherfockerusus is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Fatherfockerusus lands a couple of decent looking shots.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Payne can't keep his opponent in guard - Fatherfockerusus advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.
Payne is looking to improve his position.
Fatherfockerusus landing with strikes to the body and head, softening up his opponent.
Fatherfockerusus controlling the pace.
Payne is trying to maintain the position but Fatherfockerusus is very close to passing his half guard.
Fatherfockerusus has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Fatherfockerusus landing with strikes to the body and head, softening up his opponent.
Fatherfockerusus trying to control the pace.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Payne has hold of Fatherfockerusus's hands but Fatherfockerusus slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.
Fatherfockerusus controlling the action here.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Fatherfockerusus fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Fatherfockerusus scores with a body shot.
Payne tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Fatherfockerusus paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Matt Payne is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
That kick from Fatherfockerusus tenderised Payne's leg. Payne is trying to keep his angry face on.
Payne with a poor takedown
and Fatherfockerusus counters with a three punch combo that has Payne backing up. Payne nods at Fatherfockerusus to acknowledge the strikes.
Payne stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Fatherfockerusus.
Fatherfockerusus throws a nice outside leg kick.
Fatherfockerusus lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
A cross from Fatherfockerusus lands.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Payne takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Payne looks to be in better condition than last time we saw him fight. Obviously he's been working hard on his cardio.
Payne misses with a kick to the body

and Fatherfockerusus counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
Fatherfockerusus is keeping good posture, landing some ground and pound.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Fatherfockerusus is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Payne sees it coming and defends easily.
Fatherfockerusus slows the pace down in half guard.
Ground and pound from Fatherfockerusus.
Fatherfockerusus with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
Fatherfockerusus landing with strikes to the body and head, softening up his opponent.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Fatherfockerusus in particular looking to stall.
Fatherfockerusus seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
Fatherfockerusus is thwarting Payne's attempts to control the position.

Payne is defending against the submission attempts here by Fatherfockerusus.

Fatherfockerusus is trying to work for a kimura but Payne is defending well.
Payne has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Fatherfockerusus is working away from the top position though.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus wants to free his trapped foot but Payne is holding on for dear life with his legs.
Still in half guard, Fatherfockerusus seems content to control.
Fatherfockerusus lands with an elbow from half guard - that looked like it hurt.
Payne on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
Fatherfockerusus is scoring with some nice ground and pound from the dominant position.
Fatherfockerusus passes the guard and advances to mount!
Fatherfockerusus dominating with strikes here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus landing punches.
Payne really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Fatherfockerusus with a couple of short strikes.
Fatherfockerusus in mount throwing good strikes here, bouncing his opponent's head off the canvas.
Payne throwing hammer fists to the chest of Fatherfockerusus. What's that going to do exactly?
Fatherfockerusus cracks Payne with a nasty head shot there - the crowd let out an audible gasp there, as the noise reverberated around the arena.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Fatherfockerusus lands a couple of good shots and Payne has given up his back, trying to escape the position!

Payne is rocked!
Fatherfockerusus punishes Payne with strikes from the back mount.
Oh Payne is still in real trouble! Will he be able to recover?!!
Fatherfockerusus controlling from the back.

Fatherfockerusus has the hooks in and he's looking for a rear naked choke here. Payne is defending well but eventually Fatherfockerusus manages to get an arm under the chin and he's locked on the RNC! Payne has no choice but to tap now! He does! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:57 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus!
A victorious Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.