PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Phil Tinker (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Hugh Jasshole (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Phil Tinker could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Hugh Jasshole's chin.

Tinker
vs
Jasshole

150 cm
24
123 lbs
1 - 1 - 0

170 cm
25
138 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Brawler
KO power

BJJ Blue Belt
Solid Muay Thai
Determined

Darkness

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Phil Tinker!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Hugh Jasshole!
The judges for this bout are Roger Salmon, Josh West and Chris Saunders.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Jasshole throws a wild combination but nothing lands.

Jasshole drops down and drives through with a powerful takedown into guard.
Tinker is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Tinker could do with losing a few pounds - he looks very soft around the mid section, to put it politely.

Tinker has his foot on Jasshole's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Jasshole works his way back into a safe position though.

Tinker throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Jasshole engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Tinker is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jasshole stays in close to Tinker's body and controls the position.
Tinker can't keep his opponent in guard - Jasshole advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.
Jasshole sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Tinker defending well though.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.

Tinker looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Jasshole throwing shots but Tinker is blocking nicely.
Jasshole works his foot free and advances to mount.
Jasshole sitting in mount, just looking to control for the moment.
Tinker avoids a strike by Jasshole and manages to complete a very nice reversal in the process, to end up in Jasshole's guard! Fantastic escape!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Tinker trying to control but Jasshole is working from the bottom.

Tinker drops back, looking for a kneebar! Jasshole looks panicked! The fighters roll across the mat, one looking to finish, one looking to escape. Jasshole looks to have wriggled free... Yes, he's got his leg free and he's dived into side control! Good work there from Jasshole!

My spies in 11th Planet MMA inform me that Jasshole has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Tinker tries to bench press Jasshole off him but Jasshole keeps the position.
Jasshole throws a knee to the body but it doesn't do much damage.
Tinker prevents Jasshole from improving position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Jasshole tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.
Tinker gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.
Jasshole wants to pass the guard but Tinker is defending well.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Jasshole is trying to control. Tinker wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Hugh Jasshole dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Jasshole closes the distance, clinches up and gets a nice trip takedown into side control. Very smooth.
Tinker might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Tinker gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.
Jasshole has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Jasshole lands with an elbow from half guard - that looked like it hurt.

Jasshole is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Tinker has managed to free his arm - good work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Tinker avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Jasshole.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jasshole misses with a head shot. Tinker uses the momentum to regain guard.

Tinker looks to be working for a triangle here. Oh, it looks like he might have it! Jasshole has picked Tinker up and slammed him! Tinker can't keep hold of the triangle and Jasshole manages to pass to side control!
Tinker is not content to let Jasshole control the position.
Jasshole misses with an attempted head punch from side control.
The ground and pound from Jasshole seems to be hitting the mat more than his opponent.
Tinker sneaks back into half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jasshole controlling the action here.
Tinker is trying to stand up here but Jasshole is controlling him well.
Jasshole not doing much here.
Tinker avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Jasshole.
Jasshole trying to pass the guard but Tinker defending well.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
No luck for Tinker with that takedown attempt.

Tinker gets caught napping as Jasshole dives in and scores a takedown. Tinker manages to retain guard.
Jasshole engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.

Tinker isolates an arm and boxes in a triangle. Jasshole stacks Tinker on his neck as he steps over and passes to the side. He's now in a much more dominant position where he can look to do some serious damage. Nice move by Jasshole!
The strikes coming from Jasshole are missing the target in this wave of attacks.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jasshole is looking to take a break and control but Tinker is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.

Jasshole decides to stand back up.
Tinker shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Jasshole pinned against the cage. Jasshole gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!

A momentary lapse in concentration from Jasshole enables Tinker to shoot in and score with a neat double leg. Jasshole manages to secure a closed guard as the fighters hit the mat.

Tinker drops back looking for a heel hook - he quickly realises he's not going to get it but Jasshole manages to dive on top of him before he can escape and now Tinker has Jasshole in his guard.

And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Hugh Jasshole showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

Jasshole shoots in and bounces Tinker off the cage to secure the takedown into guard.
Jasshole must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Tinker wants to get back to his feet but Jasshole is in a dominant position and won't allow it.
Jasshole stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Tinker swivels though and keeps the full guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Tinker tries to land a sweep but no joy.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Tinker looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.

Jasshole avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Jasshole stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Tinker swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Hugh Jasshole has got the better of the ground game so far.
Jasshole trying to control the position from guard on top but Tinker is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Jasshole is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.

Tinker has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Jasshole can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Jasshole's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Jasshole looking to pass the guard.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Tinker gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Jasshole.
Hugh Jasshole is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Jasshole tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Tinker appears to be looking for a counter takedown.

Jasshole drives through with a takedown into guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jasshole slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.

Tinker working for a triangle but Jasshole defends it easily.
Jasshole controls from within his opponent's guard.
Tinker looks to be in better condition than last time we saw him fight. Obviously he's been working hard on his cardio.

Tinker is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Jasshole is aware though and is defending well.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Jasshole is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.
The referee looks like he's ready to step in and stand the fighters back up.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.

Jasshole shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in side control! That's better than Jasshole was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure!
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Jasshole creates a bit of distance and throws down some hard shots.

And that's the end of the fight!
Hugh Jasshole comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Jasshole has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Roger Salmon scores the fight 27:30
Judge Josh West scores the fight 27:30
Judge Chris Saunders scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Hugh Jasshole!
A very excited looking Hugh Jasshole rambled incoherently for about 5 minutes post fight about how awesome he is. It was kinda funny for a while but then everyone got annoyed.