PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Bushido Brown (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Onizuka Stresemann (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Brown comes into the arena with Lights Please - J Cole blaring out of the sound system. Stresemann has chosen Takashi Sorimachi - Poison as his entrance music. Bushido Brown is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Brown
vs
Stresemann

180 cm
22
280 lbs
13 - 2 - 0

183 cm
30
224 lbs
23 - 9 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Excellent grappler
Decent boxing
Good gas tank

AnonymouS
The Empire Clothing and Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 13 - 2 - 0, fighting out of New York, Bushido Brown!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 23 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Onizuka Stresemann!
The judges for this bout are Robert Twigg, George Francis and Wesley Smith.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Brown cracks Stresemann with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Stresemann uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Brown.
A left and a right from Stresemann both land. Nice combination.
Stresemann moves out of range of the body kick from Brown.
Stresemann bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Brown's head backwards.
Brown throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Stresemann lands a jab. Then a cross. Then finally a nice hook to the body. Good work there by Stresemann.
Brown tries to land a front kick but Stresemann steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Brown lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.

It looks like Onizuka Stresemann has been cut.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Brown feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Stresemann's calf.
A punch combination from Stresemann misses.
Stresemann checks a leg kick.
Stresemann throws a counter combo.
A shot to the liver by Brown. Beautiful body shot.
Brown lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Stresemann takes a swing at Brown's ribcage but misses.
Brown buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Brown feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Stresemann's calf.
Stresemann ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Onizuka Stresemann seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Stresemann misses with a looping left.
Nice shot lands for Stresemann.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Stresemann drops Brown with a left right combo! Stresemann follows him down to the ground into side control.
Brown regains half guard there - taking advantage of Stresemann's attempt to lay and pray for a moment.
Stresemann trying to control the action but Brown is working from the bottom.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Stresemann thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Brown's head.
Stresemann uses his free foot to push down on Brown's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Brown.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Stresemann postures up and lands a whopping elbow - oh that's hurt Brown bigstyle! Two more strikes land for Stresemann and the fight is over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:56 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Onizuka Stresemann!
As Onizuka Stresemann got his breath back, he grabbed the microphone and managed to blurt out the following: Yeah, I'm the best ever, what can I say.'.
In defeat, Bushido Brown stepped up to the mic, saying 'Man you come straight out of a comic strip.'.