PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Fatfuck Lovesdick (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Miles Darby (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Lovesdick's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, get bucked you fat nigger. Miles Darby is the more experienced fighter, so let's see if that makes a difference tonight.

Lovesdick
vs
Darby

180 cm
22
200 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

173 cm
25
215 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Cuts easily

Good takedowns
Basic striking
Solid chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Fatfuck Lovesdick!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Miles Darby!
The judges for this bout are Jack Bonds, Frank Antenori and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Darby will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Darby dives in and grabs Lovesdick's left leg, looking for a takedown. Lovesdick pushes down on Darby's head and hops out.
Darby shoots in for a takedown but Lovesdick shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Fatfuck Lovesdick has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Miles Darby.

Lovesdick moves into the clinch successfully.
A battle for position here, against the cage.

Lovesdick turns his back and goes for a hip toss. It's a bit messy but it gets the job done and Lovesdick manages to end up in side control.
An elbow from Lovesdick crashes against the mat.
Darby tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Darby regains half guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Darby is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Lovesdick pulls his head out easily.

Darby is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Lovesdick pulls his head out easily.
Lovesdick keeping composed on the top, looking to control the action.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Darby is staying active underneath Lovesdick, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Darby gets back to full guard.

Darby has his foot on Lovesdick's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Lovesdick works his way back into a safe position though.

Darby looking for a guillotine here but Lovesdick defends easily.

Darby looking to try and escape his hips here, looking for a submission. It looks like he's going for a triangle but Lovesdick is defending well. Darby quickly switches to an armbar and extends the arm! Lovesdick has no choice but to tap, to a very quick submission! Wow, that was lightning fast! Darby celebrates on the cage, with the crowd.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:46 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Miles Darby!
Miles Darby decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.