PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Stew Sauced (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Uzannavabizch comes to the cage accompanied by Brandon Loveladdy's band WE ARE THE CHOSEN : BREAKING THE KARMIC CYCLE. Sauced has chosen Irish Jig as his entrance music. Stew Sauced has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch's chin.

Uzannavabizch
vs
Sauced

189 cm
39
204 lbs
35 - 21 - 1

194 cm
26
207 lbs
6 - 7 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Very quick

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 35 - 21 - 1, fighting out of Montreal, Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 7 - 0, fighting out of London, Stew Sauced!
The judges for this bout are Chad Campbell, Dean Styles and David Schapiro.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Sauced scores with a shot to the body.
Sauced avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Uzannavabizch keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Sauced.
Sauced looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Sauced misses with a body shot
and Uzannavabizch counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
Uzannavabizch moves out of range of the body kick.
Sauced looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Uzannavabizch.
Sauced tries to work over Uzannavabizch's front leg with a kick but Uzannavabizch checks it.
Uzannavabizch throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Sauced checks the leg kick nicely there.
Uzannavabizch has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by Sauced.
Sauced is looking to score with low kicks.
Uzannavabizch jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Uzannavabizch ducks under a wild hook from Sauced.
Uzannavabizch half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Uzannavabizch walks into a jab.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Sauced swings for the body but Uzannavabizch moves out of range.
Uzannavabizch changes levels looking for a counter takedown but doesn't commit.
Uzannavabizch cracks Sauced with a good jab.
Uzannavabizch misses with a low kick.
Uzannavabizch bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
A clash of legs there as Sauced blocks the low kick.
Uzannavabizch throws a hook but Sauced blocks it.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Uzannavabizch lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Sauced has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Sauced and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Sauced circles away from the clinch attempt.
Stew Sauced seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Sauced throws a right and a left that both miss.
Uzannavabizch ducks under a wild hook from Sauced.
Sauced misses the jab.
Uzannavabizch looks for the body kick but Sauced saw that one coming.
Sauced doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
Sauced looks to land a left hand but Uzannavabizch moved out of range nicely.
Uzannavabizch swinging wildly here.
Sauced stuffs the takedown.
Uzannavabizch looks to be in better condition than last time we saw him fight. Obviously he's been working hard on his cardio.
An inside leg kick lands from Uzannavabizch.
Stew Sauced is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Some wild striking there from Sauced.
Uzannavabizch throws a series of punches but Sauced avoids them all with ease.
Despite the aggression on Sauced's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.
Sauced tries to bum rush Uzannavabizch with a series of wild strikes but Uzannavabizch uses good footwork to avoid the assault.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Sauced takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Sauced moves out of range of the body kick.
Sauced misses the shot to the body.
Sauced ducks under a wild hook from Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch throws a wild body kick that Sauced sees coming a mile off.
Sauced scores with a hook.
Sauced looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Uzannavabizch tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Sauced paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Uzannavabizch misses with an uppercut
and Sauced counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Uzannavabizch thinking.
Sauced goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Uzannavabizch is looking to land body kicks.
Uzannavabizch feints a jab promting Sauced to slip. Uzannavabizch then demonstrates his capabilities by jabbing again. Sauced slips again and ducks right into an uppercut.
Uzannavabizch throws a front kick aimed at Sauced's knee but Sauced avoids it well.
Sauced throws a lazy right hand but Uzannavabizch sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Uzannavabizch defending well as Sauced loads up on a big left hand.
Sauced looks for the body kick but Uzannavabizch saw that one coming.
Sauced's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Uzannavabizch connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Sauced scrambles back to his feet.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch looks to land a body kick but Sauced moved away.
Uzannavabizch throws a hook to the side of Sauced's head but Sauced sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Despite the aggression on Sauced's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.
Sauced misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch went nuts there looking for a big combo counter but none of the flurry connected.
A head kick misses from Sauced.
Uzannavabizch connects with a body shot.
Sauced misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Uzannavabizch misses with a shot to the body
and Sauced counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Sauced swings and misses with a hook to the body.
The fighters circling - Sauced throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Sauced avoids a kick to the body.
Sauced looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Uzannavabizch throws a half hearted mid kick.
Sauced misses with a wild combination.

Uzannavabizch closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Uzannavabizch throws a punch but it's blocked by Sauced.
Sauced on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Uzannavabizch wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Uzannavabizch fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Uzannavabizch working aggressively here.
Sauced is pressed up against the cage. Uzannavabizch has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Sauced down to the mat. Sauced avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
Uzannavabizch takes one to the side of the head.
Uzannavabizch takes one to the side of the head.
Uzannavabizch thuds a left hand into Sauced's body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch will probably get the nod.
That's time! Back to the action!

Uzannavabizch misses the shot to the body.
Uzannavabizch pivots, looking for a leg kick but Sauced is out of range and Uzannavabizch settles back down.
Sauced checks the leg kick.
Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch is winning the standup battle so far.
Sauced goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Uzannavabizch swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Uzannavabizch misses with a low kick as Sauced jumps back.
Sauced ducks under a wild hook from Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch thows a left - swing and a miss!
Uzannavabizch looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Uzannavabizch throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Sauced looks to throw the jab but Uzannavabizch is out of range.
Sauced fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Uzannavabizch manages to avoid it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Uzannavabizch takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Uzannavabizch uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Sauced will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Uzannavabizch displaying good standup as he scores with a three punch combination.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A slapping leg kick lands for Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Sauced is able to avoid easily.
Uzannavabizch gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Sauced takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Uzannavabizch throws a body kick that misses.
Sauced misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch is looking for a counter combo.
Sauced attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Uzannavabizch steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Sauced.
Sauced lands with a good body shot.
Sauced misses with the combination.
Uzannavabizch uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Sauced.
Sauced throws a right and a left that Uzannavabizch avoids nicely.
Uzannavabizch slips under a jab from Sauced.
Sauced cracks a nice hook into Uzannavabizch's ribs.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Sauced swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Uzannavabizch throwing a counter right hand but Sauced manages to avoid it.
Sauced ducks under a wild hook from Uzannavabizch.
Sauced looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Sauced moves out of range of the body kick.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Uzannavabizch throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Sauced's waist but Sauced gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Uzannavabizch off to one side.
Sauced thumps Uzannavabizch with a low kick.
Sauced fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Uzannavabizch on the side of the head.
Uzannavabizch throws the kick towards the body but Sauced avoids it.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Sauced! But no joy.
Uzannavabizch walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Sauced works over Uzannavabizch's head and body with a nice combination.
Sauced goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Sauced blocks a low kick nicely.
Sauced checks a low kick from Uzannavabizch.
Sauced connects with a nice looking jab.
Uzannavabizch finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Sauced throws the left hand but Uzannavabizch avoids the punch easily.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
Sauced misses with a left hand
and Uzannavabizch counters with a lovely shot to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch works Sauced's body with a nice hook.
Sauced throws a body shot but no joy.
Uzannavabizch stalks Sauced and leaps in with a furious combination of punches. Uppercuts and crosses smash into Sauced's face. Sauced staggers backwards, shaken.
Sauced is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Uzannavabizch moves away from the strike by Sauced.
Uzannavabizch ducks under a wild hook from Sauced.
Sauced throws a half hearted mid kick.
Sauced connects with a high kick.
Uzannavabizch looks for the body kick but Sauced saw that one coming.
Uzannavabizch throws a right hand that misses
and Sauced counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Uzannavabizch looks for the body kick but Sauced saw that one coming.
Sauced looks to land a left hand but Uzannavabizch moved out of range nicely.
Sauced steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch throws the left hand but Sauced avoids the punch easily.
Uzannavabizch throws a front kick aimed at Sauced's knee but Sauced avoids it well.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch ducks under a wild hook from Sauced.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Uzannavabizch changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Sauced tries to avoid it but Uzannavabizch manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Sauced to the ground. Sauced escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Uzannavabizch misses with a low kick.
A jab from Sauced misses.
Uzannavabizch ducks under a wild hook from Sauced.
A lazy left from Sauced finds it's target.
Uzannavabizch scores with a nice head shot.
Sauced throws a leg kick that is checked
enabling Uzannavabizch to counter with a crisp jab.
Uzannavabizch avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Sauced moves out of range of the body kick from Uzannavabizch.
Sauced swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Uzannavabizch moves out of range of the body kick.
Sauced will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Sauced closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Uzannavabizch ducks under a wild hook from Sauced.
Uzannavabizch tries to counter with a takedown but Sauced is quick to defend against it.
Uzannavabizch rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Sauced moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Uzannavabizch cracks Sauced with a good jab.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Stew Sauced showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!

Sauced looks to throw the jab but Uzannavabizch is out of range.
Uzannavabizch lands with a straight right. Sauced didn't see that one coming.
Uzannavabizch throws a looping overhand right but Sauced ducks down to avoid it.
Sauced dodges the punch combination from Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Sauced.
Uzannavabizch fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.

Uzannavabizch shoots in and gets a takedown into Sauced's guard.
Uzannavabizch trying to pass the guard. He's being very persistent here but Sauced manages to land a sweep and now he's on top!
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Uzannavabizch working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Sauced.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Sauced throws an elbow that misses. Uzannavabizch uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Sauced's guard. Nice move by Uzannavabizch!
Sauced is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Sauced wants to sweep but no luck.
Sauced keeping full guard, as Uzannavabizch tries to pass.
Uzannavabizch working some strikes from top position.
Sauced avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Sauced trying to control the position here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Uzannavabizch wants to control from the top but Sauced keeps moving.
Uzannavabizch with a flurry of punches that miss.
Uzannavabizch distracts Sauced with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
Uzannavabizch throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Uzannavabizch wants to control from the top but Sauced keeps moving.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A left and a right from Uzannavabizch both land. Nice combination.
Uzannavabizch missing with a left hand there. Sauced was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Sauced throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Sauced on the side of the head.
Sauced thuds a left hand into Uzannavabizch's body.
A looping hook to the body misses from Sauced. Uzannavabizch does a little dance to reset his feet.
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Uzannavabizch crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from Sauced - the referee stops the clock and Uzannavabizch gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says Sauced. Uzannavabizch manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
Uzannavabizch throws a shot from downtown. Sauced moves away and avoids it.
Uzannavabizch connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Sauced's hands.
Sauced throws a head kick that Uzannavabizch semi-blocks.
Sauced just misses with a punch to the body.
Sauced looks to land a left hand but Uzannavabizch moved out of range nicely.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Uzannavabizch just misses with a punch to the body.
Uzannavabizch tries to close the distance and clinch up but Sauced swats him away and circles back towards the center.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Sauced pinned against the cage. Sauced gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Sauced chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Uzannavabizch can pounce on him.
Sauced uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Uzannavabizch.
Sauced throws the left hand but Uzannavabizch avoids the punch easily.
Uzannavabizch uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Sauced.
As Sauced tries to get set, Uzannavabizch tries to push him back and clinch up but Sauced manages to avoid the attempt.
Uzannavabizch throws a wild body kick that Sauced sees coming a mile off.
Uzannavabizch tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Sauced was well out of range. Poor timing from Uzannavabizch.
Sauced misses with a low kick.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Sauced lands a nice looking body kick.
Uzannavabizch lands a jab followed by a nice looking cross.
Uzannavabizch works Sauced's body with a nice hook.
Uzannavabizch shoots for a takedown but Sauced saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.

And that's the end of the fight!
Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Uzannavabizch has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Chad Campbell scores the fight 29:28
Judge Dean Styles scores the fight 28:29
Judge David Schapiro scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by split decision... Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch!
A relieved looking Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
In defeat, Stew Sauced stepped up to the mic, saying 'It's not my day, I'm so unlucky. Sorry fans I had disappointed you all.'.