PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Stefan Van Der Sar (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Johnny Heimlich (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Heimlich has chosen The Lifesaver as his entrance music. Johnny Heimlich is staring across the ring at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Van Der Sar
vs
Heimlich

212 cm
27
294 lbs
11 - 8 - 0

200 cm
21
250 lbs
9 - 5 - 0

World class boxer
Insanely flexible

World class MT
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Stefan Van Der Sar !
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Johnny Heimlich!
The judges for this bout are Patrick Alders, Paul Aken and Wagner Zegers.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Van Der Sar slips a jab from Heimlich.
Van Der Sar walks into a straight right hand from Heimlich.
Van Der Sar takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Van Der Sar slips under a jab from Heimlich.
Van Der Sar lifts his leg as if looking to counter with a high kick.
Van Der Sar displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Heimlich throws out the jab.
Heimlich throws a hook to the side of Van Der Sar 's head but Van Der Sar sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Heimlich looks to throw a body kick
and Heimlich takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.

It looks like Johnny Heimlich has been cut.
Van Der Sar slips under a jab from Heimlich.
Van Der Sar throws a quick counter kick to the body but Heimlich avoids it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Van Der Sar takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Heimlich throws a nice looking combination but Van Der Sar bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Van Der Sar takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Johnny Heimlich seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A solid leg kick lands there for Heimlich.
Van Der Sar takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Heimlich throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Van Der Sar sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Van Der Sar thinks about countering with a body kick.
Heimlich lands with a nice body punch.
Heimlich throws a looping overhand right but Van Der Sar ducks down to avoid it.
Van Der Sar throws a quick counter head kick but Heimlich was just out of range.
A chopping leg kick lands by Heimlich.
Van Der Sar sees a low kick coming and goes to check it, but it's actually a body kick and it thuds into his unprotected ribs.
Heimlich connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Heimlich throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Heimlich throws a leg kick but Van Der Sar moved away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Heimlich misses with a low kick as Van Der Sar jumps back.
Van Der Sar uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Heimlich.
Van Der Sar thinks about countering with a head kick.
Heimlich throws a hook but Van Der Sar blocks it.
Heimlich misses with a left hand
and Van Der Sar connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Heimlich throws out a leg kick but Van Der Sar moves out of range and Heimlich only half commits.
Van Der Sar lifts his leg as if looking to counter with a high kick.
Van Der Sar ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Heimlich tries to clinch up but Van Der Sar circles away and keeps his distance.
Heimlich looks for the body kick but Van Der Sar saw that one coming.
Van Der Sar takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Van Der Sar uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Heimlich.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Johnny Heimlich dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Johnny Heimlich's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Heimlich will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Heimlich misses with a body kick.
Heimlich scores with a push kick.
Heimlich wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Heimlich scores with the left hand. Van Der Sar knows he should have avoided that one.
Heimlich misses with a kick to the body.
An attempted straight right counter from Van Der Sar misses the target.
Van Der Sar checks the leg kick.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Van Der Sar moves out of range of the body kick from Heimlich.
Van Der Sar is looking to counter with head kicks.
Heimlich swings for the body but Van Der Sar moves out of range.
Heimlich lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Heimlich throws a body kick that misses.
Van Der Sar throws a quick counter head kick but Heimlich was just out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Van Der Sar ducks under a wild hook from Heimlich.
Heimlich just manages to avoid a counter high kick fromVan Der Sar .
Heimlich misses with the body kick
and Van Der Sar counters with a solid body kick.
Heimlich is breathing heavily.
Heimlich throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
A slow jab from Heimlich misses its intended target.
Van Der Sar swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Heimlich tries a head kick but it misses.
Heimlich pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Van Der Sar jinks towards his opponent looking like he wants to counter with a mid kick but doesn't commit.
Heimlich misses with a hook
and Van Der Sar counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Van Der Sar on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Heimlich looks to score with a jab to the body but Van Der Sar is just out of range.
Van Der Sar swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Van Der Sar keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Van Der Sar was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Heimlich rushes Van Der Sar and pushes him back against the ropes in a clinch.
Heimlich misses with the head strike.
Heimlich throws a head punch that misses.
Van Der Sar blocks an uppercut.
I was talking to Van Der Sar 's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.
Van Der Sar working hard to break the clinch.
Van Der Sar tries to break the clinch but Heimlich is controlling the position.
Heimlich struggles to land a body shot inside as Van Der Sar controls his hands.
A head punch on the inside from Heimlich fails to land.
Van Der Sar blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Heimlich misses with a punch on the inside.
Heimlich lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Van Der Sar .
Heimlich misses with some punches.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Heimlich tries to throw a body punch but Van Der Sar avoids it by throwing Heimlich back against the ropes.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Johnny Heimlich showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Johnny Heimlich's cut.
That's time! Van Der Sar 's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Heimlich's jab looks to have found its range, popping Van Der Sar under the eye.

Heimlich fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Van Der Sar , pushing him back against the ropes.
Heimlich throws a head punch that misses.
Heimlich tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Heimlich tries a body shot but Van Der Sar blocks it.
Heimlich tries to throw a body punch but Van Der Sar avoids it by throwing Heimlich back against the ropes.
Van Der Sar is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the ropes.
Heimlich misses with a punch to the body.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Heimlich misses with a hook to the ribs.
Van Der Sar is looking to control Heimlich's arms but Heimlich gets an underhook and turns him. Now Van Der Sar has his back to the ropes.
Heimlich throws a head punch that misses.
Heimlich can't find room to land a body shot as Van Der Sar controls the action.
Heimlich has a couple of punches blocked by Van Der Sar .

That's one minute gone in the round.
Heimlich pushes Van Der Sar back against the ropes and unloads with a body punch.
Heimlich goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Heimlich misses with a shot to the kidneys.

Heimlich pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Heimlich misses with an uppercut
letting Van Der Sar counter with a right hand.
Heimlich throws a lazy head kick
and Van Der Sar counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Heimlich throws a jab when Van Der Sar was well out of range.
Johnny Heimlich seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Heimlich misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Heimlich misses with a kick to the body
and Van Der Sar counters with a body kick.
Heimlich looks to throw a body kick
enabling Van Der Sar to counter with a crisp jab.
Heimlich swings for the body but Van Der Sar moves out of range.
Van Der Sar looked to counter with a high kick but didn't commit.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Heimlich clobbers Van Der Sar with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Heimlich throws an off balance right hand
and Van Der Sar counters with a monster head kick that knocks Heimlich out cold! He topples like fallen a tree, crashing to the mat! Timbeeeeeerrr!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:16 of round 3, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Stefan Van Der Sar !
A victorious Stefan Van Der Sar thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.