PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Carl Gustav (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Thorvald Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

Gustav
vs
Thundercunt

188 cm
24
217 lbs
4 - 0 - 0

188 cm
25
208 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Intelligent

BJJ White Belt
Decent boxing
Granite chin

Sully's Bar & Grill

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Carl Gustav!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Thorvald Thundercunt!
The judges for this bout are Sandra Marshall, Santiago Holmes and Dirk Anderson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Thundercunt swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Gustav is trying to close the distance and clinch up, after that failed offence from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt throws a right hand that misses
enabling Gustav to counter with a crisp jab.
Gustav seems to be moving with more speed, compared to his last bout. He must have been working on that in the gym.
Thundercunt on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Gustav misses with a hook.
Thundercunt now looks to counter with a shot at the body.
Thundercunt is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Thundercunt fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Gustav manages to avoid it.
As Thundercunt tries to get set, Gustav tries to push him back and clinch up but Thundercunt manages to avoid the attempt.
Gustav wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Thundercunt looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Thundercunt lands the left hand.
Gustav catches Thundercunt with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Thundercunt digs a good body shot into Gustav's ribs.
Thundercunt thows a left - swing and a miss!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Gustav lands with a straight right. Thundercunt didn't see that one coming.
Thundercunt slips under a jab from Gustav.
Gustav bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Gustav misses with a body shot
and Thundercunt counters with a lovely straight right hand!

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt throws a body shot but no joy.
Thundercunt pushing out the jab but it's not landing.

Thundercunt pushes Gustav up against the cage in a clinch.
Gustav misses with a hook to the ribs.
Thundercunt tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Thundercunt just leaning against Gustav, taking a breather.
A head punch on the inside from Gustav fails to land.
Gustav misses with a punch to the body.
Gustav swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Thundercunt scores with a nice hook to the head.
Thundercunt scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Thundercunt fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Gustav.
A right hook to the body lands for Thundercunt.
Gustav is breathing heavily.
Thundercunt lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Thundercunt lands a left hand.
Gustav's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A shot in the inside from Thundercunt.

Gustav is rocked!
Thundercunt lands an uppercut in the clinch that drops Gustav to his knees! Thundercunt keeps firing more shots against his stricken opponent and the referee jumps in to save him!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:55 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Thorvald Thundercunt!
Thorvald Thundercunt decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.