PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Thomas Hanson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Theodericus Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Hanson
vs
Thundercunt

190 cm
25
270 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

195 cm
25
255 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Solid boxing
Granite chin

BJJ White Belt
Decent boxing
Very confident

Sully's Bar & Grill

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Thomas Hanson!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Theodericus Thundercunt!
The judges for this bout are Winston Alpacca, Santiago Holmes and David Hoff.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Thundercunt avoids the body shot from Hanson.
Hanson is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Thundercunt throws a big shot that misses.

Hanson has Thundercunt up against the cage in a clinch.
Thundercunt lands a hook to the side of the head.
Hanson blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Hanson lands a right hand.
Hanson throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Thundercunts head.
Hanson is pushing Thundercunt up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Thundercunt.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thundercunt lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Thundercunt working aggressively here.

Thundercunt pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.

Hanson darts in and clinches Thundercunt up against the cage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt throws a punch but it's blocked by Hanson.
Hanson fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Hanson lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Hanson blocking some punches.
Thundercunt has a couple of punches blocked by Hanson.
Thundercunt being controlled against the cage.
Thundercunt misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thundercunt tries to throw a body punch but Hanson avoids it by throwing Thundercunt back against the cage.
A head punch on the inside from Thundercunt fails to land.
Hanson misses with a punch to the body.
Still in the clinch, Hanson scores with a nice short uppercut.
Hanson has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Thundercunt working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Hanson blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Thundercunt misses with some punches.
Hanson struggles to land a body shot inside as Thundercunt controls his hands.
A head punch on the inside from Thundercunt fails to land.
Hanson lands a shoulder strike.
Thundercunt is trying to maintain a safe position but Hanson gets an underhook and turns Thundercunt into the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Hanson is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
Thundercunt throws a head punch that misses.
Hanson misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thundercunt throws a head punch that misses.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Hanson.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Hanson lands with a short punch from the clinch.

Hanson drops Thundercunt onto one knee with a big uppercut from the clinch! Thundercunt is propped up by the cage and works his way back to his feet!

Thundercunt is rocked!
Hanson has a couple of punches blocked by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt is still on wobbly legs! Can Hanson finish him?
Thundercunt letting Hanson take a breather here.
Hanson working aggressively here.
Hanson misses with a short punch on the inside.
Thundercunt blocking some punches.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Thundercunt.
Hanson throws a head punch that misses.
Hanson fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Hanson misses with the head strike.
Hanson swings wildly with an uppercut but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Thundercunt goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Hanson misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thundercunt seems to have recovered his senses.
Thundercunt misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Hanson blocks it.
Hanson has Thundercunt pushed against the cage.
Thundercunt swings wildly with an uppercut but Hanson uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Hanson scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Hanson blocks it.
Hanson lands a big right hand that drops Thundercunt! The killer instinct kicks in and Hanson finishes his opponent with a series of strikes from mount. A dominating finish by Hanson!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:20 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Thomas Hanson!