PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Benji Assklown Jr (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Lorenzo Matterhorn (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Benji Assklown Jr has a significant reach advantage - let's see if he can make it count.

Assklown Jr
vs
Matterhorn

209 cm
25
284 lbs
5 - 0 - 0

190 cm
25
280 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Solid boxing
Granite chin

BJJ White Belt
Decent boxing
Heavy handed

AnonymouS
Voodoo Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Benji Assklown Jr!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Lorenzo Matterhorn!
The judges for this bout are Tiny Johnson, Robert Twigg and Chris Downing.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Matterhorn moves into range and clinches up with Assklown Jr.
A right handed body shot lands from Matterhorn.
Matterhorn blocks an uppercut.
Matterhorn is trying to break the clinch but Assklown Jr has him pressed against the cage.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Assklown Jr as Matterhorn tries to tie him up.
Matterhorn lands a body punch.
Assklown Jr lands a nice uppercut.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Matterhorn lands with a left to the head.

It looks like Benji Assklown Jr has been cut.
Matterhorn has a couple of punches blocked by Assklown Jr.
Assklown Jr takes a shot to the head.
Matterhorn lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Matterhorn fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Assklown Jr prevents a body shot from Matterhorn.
Matterhorn tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Assklown Jr gets through Matterhorn's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Assklown Jr tries to work over Matterhorn's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
A head punch on the inside from Assklown Jr fails to land.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Assklown Jr manages to break the clinch.

Assklown Jr pushes Matterhorn up against the cage in a clinch.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Assklown Jr as Matterhorn tries to tie him up.
Matterhorn scores with a shot to the side of Assklown Jr's head.
Matterhorn looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Matterhorn misses with a body punch.

Matterhorn breaks from the clinch.
Assklown Jr definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Matterhorn throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.

Assklown Jr clinches.
Matterhorn throws a punch but it's blocked by Assklown Jr.
Assklown Jr blocking some punches.
Assklown Jr blocks an uppercut.
Assklown Jr working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Matterhorn throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Matterhorn lands a left hand that snaps the head of Assklown Jr backwards.
Matterhorn blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Assklown Jr tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Assklown Jr scores with an uppercut up the middle.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Matterhorn misses with a short punch on the inside.
Matterhorn throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Matterhorn.
Matterhorn lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Assklown Jr lands on the inside with an uppercut.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Matterhorn.
Assklown Jr is breathing heavily.
Matterhorn lands with a light punch inside.
Matterhorn stalling against the cage.
Assklown Jr swings wildly with an uppercut but Matterhorn uses good head movement to avoid it.
Matterhorn lands a hook that snaps the head of Assklown Jr backwards.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Matterhorn.

Benji Assklown Jr's cut is getting worse.
Matterhorn stalling in the clinch but Assklown Jr improves position.
Matterhorn misses with a hook to the ribs.
Matterhorn misses with a short punch on the inside.
Matterhorn blocking some punches.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Matterhorn throws a head punch that misses.
Matterhorn working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Matterhorn misses with a punch to the body.
Matterhorn has a couple of punches blocked by Assklown Jr.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Assklown Jr.

Matterhorn breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Matterhorn throws a shot from downtown. Assklown Jr moves away and avoids it.

Oooooh!!! Matterhorn has knocked Assklown Jr down with a huge combo! Matterhorn steps away and waves a wobbly Assklown Jr back to his feet! This one might not go much longer!
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
No joy there for Matterhorn, who threw a few shots but didn't land.

Matterhorn moves into the clinch successfully.
Assklown Jr lands a shoulder strike.
Matterhorn lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Assklown Jr backwards.
Assklown Jr blocks an uppercut.
Matterhorn lands an uppercut.

Benji Assklown Jr's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
Assklown Jr swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Matterhorn misses with a punch to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Assklown Jr.
Matterhorn digs a right hand into Assklown Jr's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Assklown Jr's gas tank.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Assklown Jr.
Matterhorn working aggressively here.
Matterhorn throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Assklown Jr lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
A short right from Matterhorn.
Matterhorn struggles to land a body shot inside as Assklown Jr controls his hands.
Assklown Jr scores with an uppercut up the middle.
A short left from Assklown Jr.
Matterhorn fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Matterhorn misses with some punches.
Assklown Jr lands a left hand that snaps the head of Matterhorn backwards.
Matterhorn lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.

Jeez, Benji Assklown Jr's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.
Matterhorn is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Lorenzo Matterhorn dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Benji Assklown Jr's cut.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Assklown Jr fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Matterhorn, pushing him back against the cage.
Assklown Jr lands with a light punch inside.
Matterhorn misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Matterhorn pushes Assklown Jr back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Assklown Jr lands a left hand that snaps the head of Matterhorn backwards.
Matterhorn has been the more effective fighter overall so far.

Matterhorn manages to break the clinch.
Matterhorn tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.

Assklown Jr clinches.
Matterhorn throws a punch but it's blocked by Assklown Jr.
Matterhorn prevents a body shot from Assklown Jr.
Matterhorn misses with a hook to the ribs.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Matterhorn looking to stall.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Matterhorn.
Assklown Jr lands with a short shot to the head.
Matterhorn is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Assklown Jr makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Assklown Jr throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Matterhorn digs a right hand into Assklown Jr's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Assklown Jr's gas tank.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Assklown Jr creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Assklown Jr misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Assklown Jr is working Matterhorn over against the cage.
Matterhorn is breathing heavily.
Assklown Jr misses with a body punch.
Assklown Jr lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Matterhorn swings wildly with an uppercut but Assklown Jr uses good head movement to avoid it.
Assklown Jr lands a hook that snaps the head of Matterhorn backwards.
Matterhorn is leaning against Assklown Jr and scores with a nice uppercut to the body.
Assklown Jr lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Assklown Jr lands a nice shot to the body.
A left hand lands to the body for Assklown Jr.
Matterhorn's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
This has been an exciting period of action!
Assklown Jr lands an uppercut.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Assklown Jr.

Assklown Jr drops Matterhorn onto one knee with a big uppercut from the clinch! Matterhorn is propped up by the cage and works his way back to his feet!

Matterhorn is rocked!
A right handed body shot lands from Assklown Jr.
Matterhorn is still on wobbly legs! Can Assklown Jr finish him?
Assklown Jr tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Assklown Jr creates a bit of space for himself and rocks Matterhorn with a big uppercut! Matterhorn tries to clinch up but Assklown Jr pushes him back against the cage and lands another monster strike that crumples Matterhorn to the mat! Matterhorn covers up and Assklown Jr unloads with more strikes until the referee steps in to end the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:26 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punches). Benji Assklown Jr!
A very excited looking Benji Assklown Jr made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.