PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Theodore Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Ringo Scorpion (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Thundercunt
vs
Scorpion

194 cm
25
245 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

210 cm
25
265 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

Decent wrestler
Solid boxing
KO power

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Prefers standup

Leviathan Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Theodore Thundercunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Ringo Scorpion!
The judges for this bout are Dirk Anderson, Santiago Holmes and Sandra Marshall.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A looping hook to the body misses from Scorpion. Thundercunt does a little dance to reset his feet.
Thundercunt swings for the body but Scorpion moves out of range.
Thundercunt definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Good shot there by Thundercunt.
Scorpion throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Scorpion throws a looping overhand right but Thundercunt ducks down to avoid it.
Thundercunt is looking to counter the offense by Scorpion and move into the clinch.
Scorpion scores with a nice right hand.
Thundercunt ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Scorpion throws the left hand but Thundercunt avoids the punch easily.
Nice straight punches there by Scorpion. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Scorpion.
Scorpion throws the left hand but Thundercunt avoids the punch easily.
Thundercunt misses the jab.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thundercunt looks to score with a jab to the body but Scorpion is just out of range.
Scorpion throws out a counter right but Thundercunt avoids it with no problem.
Scorpion rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Thundercunt moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Scorpion moves into range and connects with a jab.
Thundercunt misses the shot to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Scorpion lands a jab to the head.
A looping hook to the body misses from Thundercunt. Scorpion does a little dance to reset his feet.
Thundercunt connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Scorpion has done a lot of speed work in the buildup to this fight.
Thundercunt misses with an uppercut. Scorpion saw that one coming.
Scorpion swings wildly with a couple of big hooks

and Thundercunt counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt struggles to land a body shot inside as Scorpion controls his hands.
Scorpion tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.

Scorpion breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Ringo Scorpion seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Scorpion throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Thundercunt tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Scorpion manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Scorpion misses with the combination.
Scorpion lands with a nice combination. Thundercunt backs away looking to recover.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Scorpion jabs at Thundercunt's body.
Scorpion lands with a straight right. Thundercunt didn't see that one coming.
Nice jab there from Scorpion.
Scorpion misses with a body shot

and Thundercunt holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Scorpion blocks it.
Thundercunt misses with a punch on the inside.
Scorpion misses with some punches.
Thundercunt has a couple of punches blocked by Scorpion.
Scorpion wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Scorpion wants to break free but Thundercunt has control.
Scorpion misses with the head strike.
A right handed body shot lands from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt tries to work over Scorpion's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Scorpion prevents a body shot from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt pushes Scorpion back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Thundercunt misses with a shot to the kidneys.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt scores with a shoulder strike.
Scorpion's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
A head punch blocked on the inside by Scorpion.
Thundercunt tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Thundercunt tries to work over Scorpion's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Thundercunt lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Scorpion prevents a body shot from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt tries to throw a body punch but Scorpion avoids it by throwing Thundercunt back against the cage.
A short uppercut from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Thundercunt tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Scorpion's elbow.
Thundercunt misses with a body punch.
Scorpion blocking some punches.
Scorpion misses with a hook to the ribs.
Nice body punch from Thundercunt.
Scorpion looks winded!
Thundercunt misses with a hook to the ribs.
Scorpion swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Thundercunt misses with a punch on the inside.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt lands a hook that snaps the head of Scorpion backwards.
Scorpion blocks a body shot from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt lands a nice uppercut.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Thundercunt lands a left hand.
Scorpion is trying to break the clinch but Thundercunt has him pressed against the cage.
Thundercunt misses with a hook to the ribs.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Thundercunt.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt doesn't land with the attempted body shot.

Thundercunt breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Nice shot lands for Scorpion.
Thundercunt punishes Scorpion's body with a nice straight punch.

Thundercunt cracks Scorpion with a big right hand that sends him crashing to the floor. Thundercunt has the opportunity to follow him to the ground but instead he's beckoning Scorpion to stand back up!

Scorpion is rocked!
Thundercunt stuns Scorpion with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Scorpion is still on wobbly legs! Can Thundercunt finish him?
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Scorpion uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Thundercunt.
Scorpion now looks to counter with a shot at the body.
Crack! Thundercunt connects with the perfect overhand right and Scorpion falls face first to the canvas. Timbeeeeeeeer! Beautiful knockout for Thundercunt!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:57 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Theodore Thundercunt!