PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Thorvald Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Skip Gordon (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Gordon has chosen Long Hard Times to Come as his entrance music. Thorvald Thundercunt has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Thundercunt
vs
Gordon

188 cm
25
208 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

190 cm
25
217 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

Decent wrestler
Solid boxing
Granite chin

BJJ White Belt
Great elbows
Determined

Ace of Spades
Sully's Bar & Grill

Sully's Bar & Grill

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the light heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Thorvald Thundercunt!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Skip Gordon!
The judges for this bout are Michael Johnstone, Winston Alpacca and Sandra Marshall.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Gordon swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Gordon throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Gordon thinking.

Gordon clinches with his opponent.
Thundercunt tries to work over Gordon's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Gordon lands an elbow inside that Thundercunt shrugs off.

It looks like Thorvald Thundercunt has been cut.
Thundercunt holding his opponent close, against the cage.
Gordon throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Gordon misses with a punch to the body.
Gordon misses with an elbow over the top.
Thundercunt tries to circle away but Gordon has him pinned against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A frustrated look appears on Thundercunt's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Thundercunt blocks an elbow strike.
Thundercunt definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Gordon throws an elbow but it misses.
Gordon throws an elbow but it misses.
Gordon throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Gordon lands an elbow just above Thundercunt 's eye.
Thundercunt dodges an elbow strike from Gordon.
Thundercunt is trying to break free.
Gordon pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Gordon throws an elbow that misses.
Gordon lands an elbow inside that Thundercunt shrugs off.
Good body shot from Thundercunt.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Gordon just misses with a elbow thrown towards Thundercunt's brow.
Gordon lands a nice elbow.
Thundercunt is trying to force a seperation but Gordon has the dominant position.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Gordon misses with an elbow strike.
Gordon throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Gordon gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Gordon misses with a punch on the inside.
Gordon lands an elbow inside that Thundercunt shrugs off.
Gordon throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Gordon has Thundercunt pressed against the cage, preventing Thundercunt from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Gordon tries to work over Thundercunt's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Thundercunt blocks an elbow strike.
Gordon looks to throw an elbow but misses.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Thundercunt misses with a shot to the kidneys.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Gordon just misses with a elbow thrown towards Thundercunt's brow.
Thundercunt stalls.
Thundercunt avoids the elbow strike from Gordon, against the cage.
Thundercunt blocks the elbow strike.
Thundercunt dodges an elbow strike from Gordon.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Gordon throws an elbow but it misses.
Gordon doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Gordon misses with an elbow over the top.
Thundercunt digs a right hand underneath Gordon's ribcage. Gordon let out a lung full of air as it connected.
With the fighters up against the cage, Gordon throws an elbow but misses.
Thundercunt lands a left hand.
Gordon throws an elbow but it's blocked.
A left hand lands to the body for Thundercunt.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Gordon just misses with a elbow thrown towards Thundercunt's brow.
Thundercunt dodges an elbow strike from Gordon.
Thundercunt blocking some punches.
Thundercunt avoids a wild elbow strike from Gordon.
Gordon misses with a punch on the inside.
Gordon misses with a hook to the ribs.
Thundercunt dodges an elbow strike from Gordon.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt working aggressively here.
Gordon can't find room to land a body shot as Thundercunt controls the action.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Thundercunt.
Gordon pushes off an throws an elbow but Thundercunt leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Thundercunt blocks the elbow strike.
Thundercunt blocks an elbow strike from Gordon.
Nice elbow from Gordon.
Thundercunt dodges an elbow strike from Gordon.
Gordon comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.

Thorvald Thundercunt's cut is getting worse.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Gordon misses with an elbow over the top.
Thundercunt blocks the elbow strike.
Gordon throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Gordon pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Gordon just misses with a elbow thrown towards Thundercunt's brow.
Gordon looks to throw an elbow but misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Skip Gordon dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Thorvald Thundercunt's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Gordon throws a body kick that misses.
Gordon moves in looking to clinch but Thundercunt pushes him off.
The fight stays on the outside here - Gordon looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Gordon drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Thundercunt throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Gordon tries to close the distance and clinch but Thundercunt swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Gordon is looking to clinch but Thundercunt is avoiding it.
Gordon throws a half hearted mid kick.
Gordon has done a lot of speed work in the buildup to this fight.
Thundercunt moves out of range of the leg kick from Gordon.

Gordon rushes Thundercunt and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Gordon throws an elbow but it misses.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thundercunt dodges an elbow strike from Gordon.
Gordon creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Thundercunt's defenses.
Thundercunt avoids a wild elbow strike from Gordon.
With the fighters up against the cage, Gordon throws an elbow but misses.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Gordon just misses with a elbow thrown towards Thundercunt's brow.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Gordon swings wildly with an uppercut but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Gordon throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Gordon pushes off an throws an elbow but Thundercunt leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Gordon pushes off an throws an elbow but Thundercunt leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Gordon misses with an elbow strike.
Gordon misses with an elbow over the top.
Thundercunt pushes Gordon back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Thundercunt digs a right hand into Gordon's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Gordon's gas tank.
Thundercunt takes an elbow to the temple.
Thundercunt tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Gordon's elbow.
Gordon creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Gordon lands a damaging elbow.
Gordon can't find room to land a body shot as Thundercunt controls the action.
Thundercunt dodges an elbow strike from Gordon.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Gordon creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Nice elbow from Gordon.
Thundercunt avoids a wild elbow strike from Gordon.
Gordon creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Thundercunt lands a right hand.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Gordon comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
Thundercunt blocks an uppercut.
Gordon lands an elbow just above Thundercunt 's eye.
Gordon lands an elbow inside that Thundercunt shrugs off.

Thorvald Thundercunt's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
Gordon lands an elbow just above Thundercunt 's eye.
Gordon throws a head punch that misses.
Thundercunt avoids a wild elbow strike from Gordon.
Gordon throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Gordon throws an elbow that misses.
Thundercunt looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Gordon backwards.
Gordon misses with an elbow over the top.
Gordon struggles to land a body shot inside as Thundercunt controls his hands.
Thundercunt takes an elbow to the temple.
Gordon misses with an elbow over the top.
Thundercunt blocks an elbow strike from Gordon.
Gordon throws an elbow that misses.
Gordon misses with an elbow strike.
Gordon lands an elbow inside.
Gordon throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Thundercunt dodges an elbow strike from Gordon.
Gordon has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Thundercunt lands with a left to the head.
Thundercunt prevents a body shot from Gordon.
Gordon lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.

Jeez, Thorvald Thundercunt's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.
Gordon lands an elbow just above Thundercunt 's eye.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt blocks an elbow strike.
Gordon throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Gordon goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Thundercunt manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Gordon lands a nice elbow.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Thorvald Thundercunt's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:41 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Skip Gordon!
Skip Gordon is the new light heavyweight champion!
After the big win, Skip Gordon made sure to do all the important stuff like thanking his sponsors Sully's Bar & Grill and telling the interviewer how much he loves him.