PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Jonas Waratah (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Prostate Orgasm (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Prostate Orgasm has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Waratah
vs
Orgasm

186 cm
23
134 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

163 cm
25
140 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Solid Muay Thai
Inexperienced

BJJ Blue Belt
Solid Muay Thai
Prefers standup

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Jonas Waratah!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Prostate Orgasm!
The judges for this bout are Michael Johnstone, Peter Branson and Winston Alpacca.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A nice combination there by Orgasm.
Orgasm keeps the fight on the outside.
It seemed like Orgasm was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Waratah is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Orgasm keeps the fight on the outside.
Waratah fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
Waratah looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Nice defenses there by Waratah.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Waratah swings and misses with a hook to the body.

Waratah looking to shoot here. He's gone for it and he's landed a takedown into side control! Oh, that's bad for Orgasm!
Waratah trying to control the action but Orgasm is working from the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Orgasm is looking for a sweep.
Orgasm is trying to escape the position but Waratah is controlling the position.
Orgasm sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
Waratah knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Orgasm on the ground.
Orgasm is refusing to be controlled, as Waratah sits in half guard.
Waratah really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.

Orgasm is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Waratah pulls his head out easily.
Waratah keeping composed on the top, looking to control the action.
Orgasm works his way to full guard. Good work.

Waratah stands up from Orgasm's guard - Waratah perhaps looking for a knockout.
Orgasm has done a lot of speed work in the buildup to this fight.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Orgasm defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Waratah.
Orgasm only half commits to the counter leg kick.
Orgasm scores with the left hand. Waratah knows he should have avoided that one.
Waratah throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Orgasm counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
Waratah ducks under a wild hook from Orgasm.
Waratah takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Orgasm misses with a few strikes there.
Waratah fails with a takedown attempt.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Jonas Waratah. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Waratah with a lazy takedown attempt

and Orgasm holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.
Waratah is breathing heavily.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Orgasm takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Orgasm lands with a right to the head.
Waratah trying to stall but Orgasm improves his position.
Orgasm dictating the pace here, as the fighters clinch against the cage.
Orgasm lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Waratah backwards.
Orgasm lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Waratah has hold of a leg and is looking for a trip takedown. Orgasm avoids it nicely though and we remain in the clinch.
Waratah tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Orgasm smiles and moves away.
Orgasm connects with a single shot there.

Waratah is rocked!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Waratah throws a sloppy head kick
and Orgasm counters with a nice uppercut.
Oh Waratah is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Orgasm swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Waratah misses with a few strikes there.
Waratah misses with a double jab
and Orgasm counters with a nice uppercut.

Orgasm has taken the fight to the clinch.
Orgasm lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Waratah backwards.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Orgasm lands a nice shot to the body.
Orgasm holding his opponent close, against the cage.
Orgasm lands with a short punch from the clinch.

Orgasm breaks from the clinch.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Prostate Orgasm dominated that round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Orgasm fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Waratah, pushing him back against the cage.
Waratah wants to take the fight to the mat but Orgasm manages to get underhooks and keep the fight in the clinch.
Waratah seems to have got his legs back now.
Orgasm blocks a body shot from Waratah.
Waratah is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables Orgasm to keep the fight standing.
Waratah wants a takedown.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Jonas Waratah. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Waratah tries to pull guard but Orgasm won't allow it.
Waratah blocks a body shot from Orgasm.
The fighters are pressed against the cage, as the pace of the fight slows.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Orgasm pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Orgasm misses with a hook.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Waratah shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and Orgasm counters with a stiff right hand.
Orgasm swats away the attempt to clinch by Waratah.

Orgasm clinches with his opponent.
Orgasm throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Waratahs head.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
A nice left hand lands by Orgasm.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Come on Orgasm - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
Orgasm lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Waratah or not.
Prostate Orgasm seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Orgasm can't find room to land a body shot as Waratah controls the action.
Nice body punch from Orgasm.

Waratah manages to break the clinch.
Waratah shoots in but Orgasm avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Orgasm throws a hook but Waratah avoids it easily.
Orgasm might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
Orgasm tests Waratah's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Orgasm leaves Waratah with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Waratah is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Orgasm throws out a counter right but Waratah avoids it with no problem.
Waratah wants to clinch but Orgasm slips to the side
and Orgasm counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Waratah throws a head kick that misses.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Waratah tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Orgasm swivels and escapes.
Waratah throws a head kick but Orgasm moves out of range.
Orgasm misses with a hook. Waratah ducked under it nicely.
Orgasm swats away the attempt to clinch by Waratah.
Orgasm is looking for the big counter here.
Orgasm steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Waratah.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Orgasm will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Decent striking displayed by Orgasm there.
Orgasm has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Waratah shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Orgasm but Orgasm pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Waratah misses with a right hand
and Waratah takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Orgasm scores with a hook.

Orgasm gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Waratah is trying to push Orgasm away but Orgasm has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Prostate Orgasm showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Orgasm has closed the distance and engaged Waratah in a clinch.
Orgasm pushes Waratah back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Waratah has Orgasm pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Orgasm manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.

Orgasm breaks from the clinch.
Waratah changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Orgasm tries to avoid it but Waratah manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Orgasm to the ground. Orgasm escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Waratah throws a combination that misses
and Orgasm counters with a straight right hand.
Prostate Orgasm seems to be getting the better of the standup.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Waratah takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.

Waratah shoots in with a lovely double leg takedown. Orgasm manages to land in full guard to minimise the damage.

Orgasm working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Waratah doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Waratah manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Waratah is sitting in close to Orgasm's body. Orgasm has gone for a guillotine from the bottom. Oh damn, that looks pretty tight! Waratah is panicking - it looks like this one could be all over! Yes, Waratah is tapping! That was a very nice submission by Orgasm.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:21 of round 3, we have a winner by way of Submission (Guillotine). Prostate Orgasm!